A day in the life of Mama Metro (metrogirl)

[metrogirl]

I ended up taking a week off from work so I could just do what I needed to do and also to take care of him. First day back at the office this morning and I'm hoping it's going to be a decent day. I don't see too much paperwork on my desk so I guess that is a good thing.

 

Didn't go to the playboy jazz festival and sadly the tickets weren't bought by anyone so Jesse lost 130 dollars. I feel bad but I don't feel terrible terrible because he bought them without really telling me we were going and then it turns out he ended up being invited to his uncle's 80th birthday party and wanted to go to that which was fine with me but he still wanted me to take someone to the festival. I didn't really want to go without him, this was our thing that we do together.

 

Got my appointment for clinicals next Monday. They emailed me a schedule of all my appointments, gosh there is a lot of them. They want me there promptly at 7am to meet with the transplant team. Three of the members, I have met already when Jesse and I go for his annual orientation. Then I am off to the lab for some more blood work. Oh yay... Last time I did labs there, they took 24 vials of blood, made me do the 2 hour fasting glucose and then took one final vial.

 

After labs, I go for a surgical consult and then I am off to imaging where I have to get a Kidney, Uterer, and Bladder xray, a chest xray, a CT angiogram of the renal ateries and uterers, and finally a bilateral mammogram. The only thing I don't have an appointment for thus far is the pysch consult. I'm thinking once I am cleared medically with everything then they will probably need me cleared mentally.

[metrogirl]

Progress! Cedars called Jesse yesterday just to follow up and let him know that he has a donor (me) and that they are waiting on a few more test from me (Monday 6/24). They explained to him that because we are two different blood types, he will have to start a 30 day course of medication to desensitize his antibodies and will need to have a few plasmapherisis treatments. Since he doesn't have a working av fistula anymore, he will have to have a chest cath placed 4-6 weeks prior to transplant for the treatments. The lady was somehow under the impression that he was not working and when he explained that he is working and works in heavy labor, she said it would probably be in his best interest to take a medical leave once the chest cath is put in to lower the risk of infection.

 

This means once he goes out, he probably won't be going back until after he recuperates from his transplant so likely not until sometime next year. We are waiting on the pre-op appointment. Things are moving at a good speed now and I'm feeling really good about everything.

[metrogirl]

I finally got some decent sleep. It wasn't perfect but it was a little more than I have been getting. I had the alarm set for 4am this morning so I could shower and do hair and makeup but I decided to skip the hair and makeup and just slept in a little longer.

 

Woke up 2 lbs lighter than yesterday. YAY. I did 70 minutes of cardio yesterday which I'm sure helped. Will be doing that again today.

 

Yesterday my daughter called me to tell me that she received my grandson's CST test results. She said he scored in the

76th percentile at an 8th grade level...................and he is only in the 5th grade! We knew he was a smarty pants because the school has him in a special program twice a week after school, a tutoring program of sorts but not because he needs help but because they want him to compete in academic tournaments. So proud of him.

[Seraphim]

That is great!!!!!! Good for him!!! Smart boy there.

[Seraphim]

I am so glad things are moving along so fast for Jess's operation now!

[metrogirl]

I am so glad things are moving along so fast for Jess's operation now!

 

Me too Vic. Just in time too because he is experiencing more swelling in his legs and he's hardly urinating now. He has to do labs this week, I'm pretty sure when I get the test results back I'm going to see a further decline in kidney function. He's at 6% now but I suspect his kidney's are probably finished.

[Seraphim]

Me too Vic. Just in time too because he is experiencing more swelling in his legs and he's hardly urinating now. He has to do labs this week, I'm pretty sure when I get the test results back I'm going to see a further decline in kidney function. He's at 6% now but I suspect his kidney's are probably finished.

 

Poor guy. I hope this goes swiftly!! I hope you both recover healthy and have an awesome life together. You are an AMAZING person and act truly in the spirit of service of humanity. You are an awesome model of greatness for anyone.

[metrogirl]

I was reading something on a coupon forum from one of the ladies venting about her older children's father. I guess he's an absentee father for the most part but is coming into town for 3 weeks demanding to see his children etc etc. Then I started thinking about my own children and their absentee father. My daughter turned 28 today, a beautiful woman with children of her own, children that I adore as you guys clearly know and I was thinking how sad it is that he just walked away years ago and never really cared what went on in his childrens lives. Sure he would come around once every few years pretending to be some kind of super hero father, believing that him handing my teenage son 8 dollars was a terrific thing. NOT....

 

He missed huge milestones, things that a father would normally be proud of. How do men walk away from their family? For the record he didn't leave me, he never would have left me. He enjoyed abusing me too much for him to just walk away. No, I threw him out of the house. I remember that day, I told him I was leaving with the children for the day and when I came home, he and his things had better be gone. I honestly didn't know if he was going to leave or not but when I got home his stuff was in boxes and bags on the front porch. He left without any kind of fight or struggle and that was it.

 

So over the years my daughter tried to establish a relationship with him when she could locate him but he just didn't really seem to care one way or another. Most recently, last year I think she was still trying to maintain some sort of contact with him, he went over to her house. He was drinking (nothing new there) and flipped out because he thought she was disrespecting him. He threw beer bottles at the front of her house, cursing in english and spanish. I think she's realized just how unstable and uncaring he is in general, a terrible father at best.

 

Jesse considers my children his and my grandbabies are his as well. He asked my daughter what she wanted for her birthday, she wants the new Samsung Galaxy phone and without hesitation he told me to pick it up for her today. There isn't anything he wouldn't do for my family and he's done a lot. For that I am so thankful, he's the father my children should have had growing up.

[petite]

It's good your kids and grand kids have Jesse. Shame on their biological father for not taking responsibility. Some people realize way too late that they want their children around and hey I'm all for forgiving if possible, but if my father did that to me, eventually I'd just give up. Your daughter probably feels like she missed out on having him around (his choice) and wanted to see if they could have a relationship, but he's clearly too wrapped up in his world that he just doesn't see them and probably thinks he has plenty of time to fix it and that they will forgive. Maybe they will and maybe they wont, who knows. At least they have a mother that loves and cares about all of them. You did a great job, so be proud, and well his mistakes are his to own, it's just a shame he couldn't step up.

[metrogirl]

She really did try, she was actually the only one that tried. Her brothers refused to have any form of contact with him, not now not ever. She sees now that the relationship, that bond will never be there. Jesse was a great father to his own children, they never wanted for anything. He worked nonstop to provide for them, he interacted with them and they were always going places. As they got older, he still provided for them financially but they were off doing their own thing and then we started dating and they didn't like that one bit so they sort of backed away from him. He never stopped trying though, unlike my ex.

 

I think I have taught my sons well, don't abuse your women and never walk away from your responsilbilites. Be a man and always do the right thing. There is no doubt in my mind that when my son's become parents themselves, they will do the right thing.

[Seraphim]

A stepdad can be a great blessing. I know I was very blessed to have two great stepfathers. My stepdad now would do anything in the world for me. Mind you I met him when I was already grown-up. I think he met my mom when I was 24.

My first stepfather was a great blessing to me too. He provided me with the necessary magic that childhood needs. He gave me stability and love and the necessities of life. And he gave me so much more than that. I remember for my 8th birthday he took me for a steak and lobster dinner because that's what I wanted. I wanted to be a "grown-up." So my mother and him took me to the best place in town and got me a steak lobster dinner and huge massive princess birthday cake. He also taught me to ballroom dance that night. The memories I have of childhood with him are very special and I'll always remember them. He was also very good to my brother. He did everything with him. And in a way now as an adult my brother is a lot like him. He also taught my mother to believe in herself and the fact that she could do anything. It is too bad it lasted only seven years.

 

My present stepfather and I have a great friendship. I am closer to him than his own daughter is. And my son and my brother's kids are very much his grandchildren as well.

 

My relationship with my own father will never be good I know that but I keep trying. I know he is too mentally ill for it to ever be a good thing. But I love him he's my dad.

[Seraphim]

And Happy Birthday to your daughter by the way!

[OptomisticGirl]

I am a huge advocate that just because you help with Half the genetic material doesn't automatically make you a father. I've been asked before did I regret the father I was given (he never left but was abusive and I've spoken to him one time since I left home at 17) and I don't because to me he isn't my dad. He was my mother's husband. For ease I refer to him as father but that's just to denote I come from his family. My dad, my father-figure is my uncle. Always has been, that is the man I want my kids to know and look up to. My sister keeps trying to reach out to our father but for me it's just wasted time.

[metrogirl]

I never knew my biological father. He took off (or so my mother says) when she was pregnant with me. She met Joe, the man that raised me shortly after my bio dad left. Joe was the only man I ever knew as my father and he loved me deeply. He never ran away from me, he did what he could to be a good dad.

 

Those are the men that I admire the most, the ones that can walk into a relationship with a woman that has children and be everything for everyone. They are the unsung hero's for sure!

[metrogirl]

My gym finally reopened after a few months of remodeling. OMG, I wasn't expecting it to be so nice. Pretty much everything is new there, all the cardio machines have a little tv attached to them. I was working out on the elipitcal machine and I was watching the NFL channel. How sweet is that? I was pleased to see they didn't scrap the steam room like they had said previously. Can't wait to work out again tomorrow.

 

For now I have to get ready for bed. Jesse's car is still in the shop and Im picking him up from work at 630am. Goodnite

[metrogirl]

I had a really great workout yesterday. Thanks to the little tvs on the new machines, I ended up doing 1 hour and 40 minutes of cardio because I got stuck watching The Real Housewives of Orange County. Now typically I'm really not into shows like that but I couldn't take my eyes off the drama and cattiness of these stuck up pretentious princesses. LOL Before I knew it, I had spent 60 minutes on the treadmill! My other 40 minutes was spent between a bike and an elipitical and yes those have the tv's too.

 

I skipped the weights and just went straight for the steam room and dry sauna where I had a really good sweat session, then to the jacuzzi to soak the achy knee, stuck my feet in the pool for a little bit, showered and headed up. I was there for 2 1/2 maybe 3 hours.

 

The plan today is to go back for another great workout after I take Jesse to the lab for his blood work. I'm not really looking forward to his blood results but it will give me an idea of how things are going to end up within the next few weeks. He's been retaining a lot of fluid in his legs and the weight gain is significant. We are waiting for a pre op appointment for him to get a chest cath placed. This was going to be for his plasmapherisis treatments however since his current method of dialysis isn't pulling the fluid from his body sufficiently now, I suspect the nephrologist will want the cath placed in sooner than anticipated so they can start hemo dialysis again. I think that is probably the only way to pull that fluid out of him and keep him stable until the transplant which is still a couple of months away. I am proud of him though, he was able to come to work for 4 days before he just pooped out and called out last night. I was all for him working while we were going through this process but since his body is shutting down, I really think it's time for him just to take medical leave and work on getting that fluid out and rest up so he'll be in a healthier state so to speak when it's time for him to get a kidney.

 

My coworker was asking me this morning "Metro, how do you do it all, how do you manage to still interact with your grandchildren (they are alternating days at my house for the summer) work, exercise, coupon, and take care of a sick person"? I kind of sat there quiet for a moment while I thought about it, I don't how how I do it all. Well I guess I'm not spending as much time with the grandbabies as I would like because I've been out of the house a lot, taking care of him and going to the gym but I really just try to squeeze everything in but more importantly I have really been taking a few moment out of the day to acknowledge everything that I am thankful for. This helps my days to not seem so stressful and long. I remember the other day I was working out and I was just so tired and I was saying to myself "gosh I'm exhausted and I really don't want to do this today" and I immediately caught myself and thanked the lord for giving me the strength, patience, and courage to be able to do everything that I do everyday for my family and for Jesse and I felt a sense of peace just kind of come through me.

 

Yeah I'm tired but I'm blessed and we will get through his ordeal together. I love him so much, I don't think there is anything I wouldn't do right now to see him healthy again.

[OptomisticGirl]

You are super woman Mama.

[metrogirl]

I completed all the tests yesterday at the transplant center. I was there from 630am to 500pm. It was a terribly long day and things were going well until it was time to wait for my xrays. I had already completed the angiogram of my kidneys in the same department and I just needed 2 xrays and then I had a 245 appointment for my mammogram. Well somehow they lost track of me and I waited an hour and a half for the xrays. I kept telling the receptionist that I hadn't been called and it was painfully close to my other appointment time. Three times I told that dingy broad I was still waiting and finally when I started to raise my voice in angst someone finally took notice. Well needless to say, I was extremely late for my mammogram. I didn't get there until 420. They were already closing up and interestingly enough the lady was on the phone with someone talking about me. I heard her say "no, no metro signed in today" and I said "Im metro". She was being told by someone on the phone that there was no record of me having even been at the hospital. I was like "I have all the admission forms here, signed and time stamped less than 2 hours ago". I was able to get my mammogram, everything went very well and I'm so glad that part is over and done with.

 

I did meet with the surgeon that will remove my kidney (should I be approved) and he explained in great detail how he was going to proceed. It was pretty graphic yet intriguing at the same time. LOL The other doctor that I met with was really surprised at how healthy I am. He kept going over my test results and commenting that everything looked perfect. They aren't expecting anything out of the ordinary from the tests I did yesterday, those results should be in within the next few days. The transplant nurse said the review board should be meeting this Thursday, if not next Thursday and by then I should know if I have been approved.

 

She also told me that the results of the titer test showed that his antibodies put up very little resistance against mine. This is good news because he won't need as many plasmapherisis treatments as they had anticipated. So he needs to have a chest cath surgically implanted within the next few weeks so treatments can start. Once the treatments are complete they will repeat the titer test and if everything looks good, then they will schedule a transplant date within 6-8 weeks.

 

I was terribly exhausted yesterday so I took today off from work to just veg out. I thought I wanted to round up my coupons for the stores but Im still sitting here and I haven't touched one coupon. BLAH

[metrogirl]

Even with all the time I have been taking off, I'm super tired still. I came into work this morning and there is a vacation notice up for one of the other clerks. I'm working his shift tomorrow. LOL I could be dead tired but at the end of the day, I still like to make my OT.

 

 

Jesse's appt went well yesterday. His numbers are holding steady, with only a jump in phosphorus. He's adding a stronger solution to the dialysis for two nights to pull off fluid that has pooled in his legs and feet and they increased his diuretic to assist with the swelling as well. They want/NEED him to increase his protein intake so I'll be making him some protein smoothies each day to help with that. The doctor explained if he is protein deficient then he will have a harder time healing from the surgery. So those are just a few little things we have to change, otherwise he is doing ok.

 

I'm very proud of my family, specifically my son and his girlfriend and my daughter. They are going to be the ones taking care of us while we are recovering. They have been talking amongst themselves and developing a plan of action so to speak. I feel less stressed about those things at least.

[OptomisticGirl]

I am so happy to see things moving along for you guys Mama! I know how it is to be in limbo waiting and then once the ball starts moving it just becomes surreal. And I am glad you will have someone to look after you!

[metrogirl]

I was supposed to come in at 2pm today but the morning clerk asked if I could cover half of her shift too because she was going to leave sick. So, I came in at 10am and will be here until 10pm. So far it's an easy day, not a lot going on here.

 

I never did hear from the hospital yesterday and since they told me they meet every Thursday, I figured ok next week but then someone here at work reminded me that next Thursday is the 4th! UGH...... It's probably going to be at least 2 weeks before I hear anything and I really feel like I am going to go insane. I just want, no I NEED to hear "Yes" so that I can feel more ease.

 

I need to find something to occupy my time so I am not thinking about this so much.

[metrogirl]

I could have worked another 8 hours OT today but I passed it up so I wouldn't break my promise to take the grandbabies to a local park that has a water play area. When we got there, the water section wasn't on and the guy that works at the park said it wasn't working. I was really stressed out because here I am at the park with the kids and they are dressed to hit the water. Alas, the water finally turns on and the entire park was cheering. I was the first adult in the water with the kids. Soon, more adults started coming in an getting wet. I don't know what they were afraid of, it was a super hot day and what better way to cool down by getting wet and splashing around. Who cares if you look like a nut job playing with a bunch of elementary school aged children. LOL

 

Did a little couponing, not as much as I would have liked. Meh, I will try and hit the stores again tomorrow. New sales, maybe I will come up on some more free stuff.

[metrogirl]

Im sure most people would goff at having to work on a Sunday morning but honestly, I love it. It is super quiet here on Sundays and I won't lie, I have a cushy little office job. If nothing is going on with my buses then there is nothing going on in the office, simple as that. I have been here since 6, I already finished the afternoon schedule for the bus roll out, I'm going to file some backed up paperwork and that's it. I will get to look through store ads and clip coupons later.

 

I didn't sleep well last night. I fell asleep around 9 I guess but the sound of faint knocking on my back door around 1 am really screwed me up. I called my son on his cell and whispered for him to come down. He went outside and looked around but there was no one out there. My back door is connected to a fenced back patio and the gate is kept locked. Now I suppose someone could jump the wall and which is only about 6 feet high and enter the patio but really there is so much junk back there(Think Sanford and Sons) surely I would have heard something being moved around or stepped on. I eventually fell asleep again only to hear that knocking again at 343am. UGH..... It didn't help that my inconsiderate neighbors were having a party and all I heard was the sound of a girl cackling like a witch.

[metrogirl]

Something is making my insomnia worse. Last night I took my Ambien at 8:40pm, I was still wide awake at 11:30pm. I took another half of Ambien and I guess I finally passed out around midnite maybe. Woke up at 4:40 am feeling way out of it. It was a struggle just to take a shower.

 

I ended up working alone today, my coworker is out sick and no one could cover her shift. Thankfully it's pretty quiet here today so I was able to get all my work done, now I'm covering her desk.

 

I was planning on going to the gym today after work but I honestly don't think I have enough energy to do it. I have to go to Jesse's after work, take him some food and give him his bi-weekly shot and then I'm going home and laying down. I could go grocery shopping, in fact I probably should since I'm sure people in the house want to eat but I'm not feeling that either. LOL

[metrogirl]

Sleep was a little better last night. I still had a hard time waking up this morning though. I had my alarm set for 4am, don't remember turning off the alarm and then waking up at 4:40 becuase I heard my son get something out of the kitchen.

 

There is a lot of bad juju in the office today. Certainly not a quiet day, it's chaotic at best and thankfully I'm back to working my desk. The other desk is having some major issues today. I need coffee.