metrogirl Posted December 26, 2012 Author Share Posted December 26, 2012 Going back to the gym today. I have my gym bag packed and ready to head out of here at 2pm. Oh I guess I forgot to mention that I transferred back to my old work location and I'm back on day shift. The hours will work out so much better in terms of working out regularly. The plan is to leave work at 2pm and head straight to the gym for at least an hour, maybe more if I can swing it. When I was working 2nd shift, it was affecting my sleep something horrible and I was constantly exhausted and I would wake up so late in the morning, I didn't have time to go to the gym. I was still walking at work but you can't lose weight forever just walking. So today is day 1 back in the gym. Wish me luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Good luck and extra motivation! You get to the point where you feel weird if you don't go. Today I am so tired but I convinced myself to go. I planned my time out and even took a huge detour when I missed my turn. The gym was closed (darnit!) but I really did try! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 27, 2012 Author Share Posted December 27, 2012 Well I did go to the gym, my knee started feeling funky so I gave up. I think part of the problem is that I was really trying to go full throttle like I typically would only I haven't seen the inside of a gym in over a month, probably longer so I tired out and my knee wasn't having any of it. Oh and my mp3 player started acting stupid again, it's back to only playing 2 songs. Arggghhhh. Better luck tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Hi Metrogirl. I hope you are able to rest up and also get some time for yourself doing things that you enjoy. Your husband is very fortunate to have you there offering so much support. You deserve some time for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 27, 2012 Author Share Posted December 27, 2012 Hi Metrogirl. I hope you are able to rest up and also get some time for yourself doing things that you enjoy. Your husband is very fortunate to have you there offering so much support. You deserve some time for yourself. I am sleeping better thankfully. The new work hours allow for me to get sleep that is a little more fruitful so to speak. This morning I actually slept in for an extra hour. I didn't do my makeup today but who cares, at least I slept. lol Gym bag is packed in the car. I'll try for round two today after work. Hopefully my knee will be a little nicer to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Hi Metrogirl. If your knee isn't any better, maybe you need to just rest it up and take some anti-inflammatories. You deserve a massage! Best one I ever had was from a sports masseuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 28, 2012 Author Share Posted December 28, 2012 I was prepared to go to the gym after work but Jesse called me and asked if I could come over, he wasn't feeling well. No problem, I head over there and he's laying in his recliner, feet propped up. Good, at least he's not in bed and he was in fairly good spirits. I could see he was extremely tired though and it turns out his 'not feeling well' was probably more exhaustion than anything else. What I was trying to figure out though is why is he so tired? He recently had two iron infusions because his iron levels went crazy low. He should have felt better shortly thereafter. Then through a simple conversation, he let it slip that he hadn't been doing his manual exchanges. A manual exchange is another dialysis treatment that he should do mid day. This is just added dialysis that gives him that extra cleaning out, since he is on the machine for 8 hours, doing the manual keeps him from doing a 10 hour machine therapy. So all this recent exhaustion was perplexing me but now I see it's because of his own doing. His blood pressure has been through the roof, so high in fact that he could have a stroke at any moment. I was just really baffled as to why he would willingly skip the mid day treatment. I know he's been depressed, he's tired of dealing with kidney failure, ok I get that but in reality he is causing his own suffering by not doing everything he is supposed to be doing. I really wonder if subconciously he is just giving up? I didn't stick around to talk to him about it, I had to remove myself from the situation for the time being before I became completely unglued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Oh Jesse... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 29, 2012 Author Share Posted December 29, 2012 Didn't go to the gym today, ended up coming in for OT earlier than expected. On a positive note I'm doing 12 hours of OT making great money today. Jesse had to see the nurse this morning (she was very insistant) to check his exit site. The exit site is where the catheter comes out from the stomach for his dialysis. Every month she looks at it at his appointments and last month it had a big ol' scab so he was to maintain it a certain way for a period of time until it healed properly but I guess that didn't work out so well because he now has an infection. For right now the infection seems to be at the site and not in the peritoneal cavity. Peritonitis could kill him so he has to be extremely careful, even moreso now. I think he really needs to see someone, talk to someone about everything. I fear the depression is going to cause him to totally give up. It's not fair to him, certainly not fair to me. I have stuck by his side through all of this, how could he want to give up on us? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Gosh, it sounds like he is on the verge of just not caring anymore. It's exhausting, I am sure, but he needs to give his head a shake and press on. I am sorry Met. He'll snap out of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 31, 2012 Author Share Posted December 31, 2012 Really enjoying this quiet day at work, I get off at 2pm and then I am off to the gym for a much needed workout. I'm staying in tonite with Jesse. This is our first year off together in a long time and neither of us wants to go out. We decided on staying in with a bottle of win and maybe a pizza and whatever we can find on tv to watch. lol Call us old, it's okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 3, 2013 Author Share Posted January 3, 2013 I had broken sleep last night. I woke up at 1am to the sound of breaking glass and couldn't really go back to sleep comfortably. I tossed and turned a lot so when I did finally wake up at 430, I felt super tired. Thankfully it's my Friday although I'm thinking about coming into the office tomorrow for some OT. More special projects are happening and I seem to be the special project girl so here is my opportunity to make some quick easy money. LOL Jesse is still battling extremely high blood pressure. He had some issues here at work the other night which made things worse and sent his pressure soaring. He's taking some time off for right now to relax and hopefully manage this. I worry everyday that at any moment he will die. It's such a scary thought, the fear of the unknown. My coworker and I were talking just a few minutes ago and she said "metro, it's weird I got this funny feeling about Leon" He was her boyfriend in junior high school. They only reconnected last year after 40+ years of not seeing or talking to each other. She took a trip to visit him up north and spent the weekend with him catching up. She still keeps in daily contact with him and she told me right now that she texted him yesterday to see how his band playing went. He was traveling to another northern city to play, but she never heard back from him and that is when she mentioned that she had an overall bad feeling. I think a lot of us feel that way sometimes, when we don't hear back from someone we care about right away we assume the worst. So she went on his facebook and apparently there were several posts wishing him well. He suffered from high blood pressure and had a brain hemorage. He's in critical condition. Sigh, that high blood pressure is nothing to mess with. I feel bad for her, I feel worse for Jesse. I hate feeling this way. I just want to enjoy every moment with him, good or bad because honestly, he could just go at any moment. Life is too short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 Hugs Mama. I will pray for you and Jesse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 Mama...You poor lady. I know how stressful this is. I had a boyfriend that was diabetic, and lost his sight completely at 29. Now at 37, he's on dialysis 3x a week. He's on several meds for his BP and has been hospitalized for it a few times. He had a really positive attitude, but that's going to take it's toll on anyone and sometimes we'd lie in bed...And he'd cry and say, "Cheet, I'm dying, and it's of my own doing." (he didn't take care of himself...at all...for a long time) What do you say to that, you know? There's nothing you can say to that, nothing to make it better, change the outcome, just nothing. Shoot, I'm not trying to be morbid. We're still friends, he's actually doing quite well right now, after several really bad stunts..I haven't heard those words from his mouth in awhile. Just saying, I kinda get it...Hugs...Keeping you and J in my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 5, 2013 Author Share Posted January 5, 2013 He has the poops....LOL I guess he picked up a stomach virus because he's been sick the past two days but on a good note his blood pressure was spot on today. Since he was having some pain in his stomach I had to make sure he isn't dealing with peritonitis but I checked the dialysis fluid and it's clear so no infection there. I was even able to give him his Procrit shot today for the first time in probably 3 weeks because his bp was good. I had a great workout at the gym early this morning. Since I changed my work hours, I wake up early even on my days off. I couldn't go back to sleep after an hour of trying so I just headed out to the gym. Aiming for an early morning workout tomorrow as well and then I need to clean my house and do laundry before it gets anymore out of hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 OMG, you sound so disciplined. I feel like such a lazy A compared to you. Been a heatwave here (42 degrees yesterday). This talk of BP and men neglecting themselves is worrying. My SO worked outdoors in that heat yesterday and removed 160 bales of hay from a paddock, made a couple of trips transporting it, then built a haystack at home. He had a break in the middle of the day for a couple of hours, but started the day around 5am and finished at midnight. He has high BP too and on meds for it, but so many men seem to be like this. I don't get it myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 OMG, you sound so disciplined. I feel like such a lazy A compared to you. Been a heatwave here (42 degrees yesterday). This talk of BP and men neglecting themselves is worrying. My SO worked outdoors in that heat yesterday and removed 160 bales of hay from a paddock, made a couple of trips transporting it, then built a haystack at home. He had a break in the middle of the day for a couple of hours, but started the day around 5am and finished at midnight. He has high BP too and on meds for it, but so many men seem to be like this. I don't get it myself. I think men are just hard headed. Nothing bothers them, nothing affects them, nothing will happen to them and they will live forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Hardheaded is putting it mildly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 I won't call it a resolution per se but I had decided that I wanted to be a little more organized this year. I have a planner that I write in everyday now. Appointments, reminders, and little tidbits of information. It's helped a lot so far. I write down the days I work out and how much and I started tracking my weekly weight. I remember one time I was at a doctor's appointment (GI) doc and the doctor had suggested I keep track of the foods I eat daily to see if he could figure out what would trigger the awful pain in my tummy. He said "you could do a food journal on your phone". I held up my old flip phone and said "a journal on this"? He laughed and laughed, it was the funniest thing. He said he didn't know anyone that still used a 'flipper'. Thankfully I haven't had the need to track any foods in my planner, the tummy troubles seem to be well controlled now, likely due to the big diet changes I have made. Started walking at the new work location. I feel a little more uncomfortable walking here only because there are so many people here during the day. At my former location, I worked swing shift and there weren't many people there. Doing good though, I walked yesterday for a 1.53 miles and then I went to the gym after work and worked out for an hour. Eating is going ok, although I anticipate a rough time in the next few days. My period is due to come and I crave salty foods when I am on my cycle. Most people crave the sugar and I want the salt. How weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 I want to walk but have stacks and stacks of paperwork on my desk. What I hoped would be a project that would allow me to come in on OT has turned out to be "do it when you can but not on OT". So because I can't get everything done during my regular work hours, it's going to stack up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 10, 2013 Author Share Posted January 10, 2013 Didn't walk yesterday on my break at work but did walk around the lake in the late afternoon. That felt nice, it was cool outside and the sun was starting to go down. I saw a lot of people walking their dogs, made me kind of long to get one but still holding out. Thankfully I slept good last night but for some reason, I feel really tired this morning. I do have some stuff on my mind, maybe I am just emotionally tired? Hoping to get some kind of workout in later today. I would have liked to walk here at work but it drizzled here all night and the ground is slick. Since I work at a bus yard, there is always oil or coolant residue on the ground, that mixed with water makes for a slippery walk. I have a dentist appointment at 3pm so if I am not there too long, I should be able to get to the gym or I could just head out to the lake again. The geese yesterday were all over the place. One was roaming around in the parking lot, likely looking for food handouts. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 I went to the dentist yesterday for a check up. I'm 42 and had a cavity. LOL The dentist filled that for me, gave me a deep cleaning (shudder) and I need to go back next week for prep work to get a crown. I have never had one of those before, I have heard some bad stories over the years but here's to hoping everything goes smoothly. In the meantime, I'm waiting for a call from the periodontist for a consult for a connective tissue graft. Why do I subject myself to such torture? My grandson went with me yesterday, he too saw the dentist. He was just supposed to get a checkup but he ended up needed a baby tooth pulled due to crowding. That baby tooth wasn't moving. The dentist gave him the option of doing it last night or coming back and my little man was so grown up about it. He said "I'll do it now" and didn't even flinch when he saw the needle coming his way. I can't believe my little guy is so grown up now. I went to the optometrist today for my annual eye exam. Chronic dry eyes, she gave me a prescription for Restasis (sp). Not sure if my insurance will cover that but if they don't she gave me a sample of something I can use over the counter. My vision changed for the worse in my right eye but I was already expecting that. I didn't like the frames they offered there with my insurance so I'm going to Walmart to get my glasses again. They have some really cute frames there. I saw a pair of Baby Phat's that look really nice. I almost got those last time but was unsure about them. Now I want them. I'm keeping the same frame for my prescription sun glasses. I love my frames, so I will just have to use non prescription sunglasses until mine come in. Tonite I am off to dinner with the girls and then heading to San Diego tomorrow for a girls day trip. Sunday of course is football and time with Jesse. All in all a good week, oh and I lost 3lbs this week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Hanging out with the girls is always great. Dinner friday night was fun, San Diego the next day was amazing. We did this brewery tour thing. We rode around in a Swiss military vehicle, the guide driving us from one brewery to another. He explained at the beginning of the trip that we would be drinking up to 100oz of beer! I look at my best friend who doesn't drink beer and he looked at me and we both shook our heads. LOL I'm not a drinker by any means and certainly not a beer drinker. I went on the tour because it's what our best friend wanted to do for her birthday. The first brewery was cool, the beer was not too bad. I stayed on the lighter side while others on the tour were chugging back what looked like tire sludge. The second brewery was good too, I liked the atmosphere there. People had their kids there which I thought was a little odd because it's really like a bar and they also had their dogs in there which was even more weird to me. The brewery even put out a doggy water bowl for them. There we had lunch and I spent more time watching football than anything else and from there we went to the last brewery which I didn't like at all. There were no chairs, no place to sit so we stood for an hour and a half. It was cold, I had longed stopped drinking and really just wanted to retreat to my car so I could turn on the heater. All in all it was a great trip and we had a lot of fun. The people we met along the way were great. We had two guys from Orange County that were on our tour and they were super fun to hang out with and then there was an older married couple from New Hampshire that were vacationing and they were very nice. With all the eating I did over the weekend, I only lost 3.2 lbs last week. I'll take it but I know I could have lost a little more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 I've been feeling more girlie lately, hair and makeup which is a fresh reminder that I'm not the old fat hag I thought I was. I need a dye job badly. Normally I would just use a box dye and have my daughter do it for me but the box dye doesn't usually last very long even though it's supposed to be permanent. I want to go to a salon and treat myself to a nice color job. I was looking at some ideas online, I kind of like the ombre that people are talking about. I know I don't just want one color, I would like two different colors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 We're doing this diet contest at work, it was supposed to be 4 of us but one girl backed out when we said that we were going to do this in a healthy way. The girl that backed out was going to do some crazy fad diet where she likely would have lost a crazy amount of weight which 1. wouldn't have been very fair 2. wouldn't have been very healthy Instead of just telling us that she couldn't participate in the diet because she didn't think she could do it safely, she made up all these stories of being pregnant, then not pregnant. Whatever.... So the other girl is my coworker, she was all gung ho about it. I weighed her in last week (first day was Monday and we all did a weigh in). I forgot to bring my scale yesterday so I brought it today to get her weight. She weighed in 3lbs heavier and got mad and said she was pulling out of the contest. So now I guess it's just me and my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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