metrogirl Posted October 25, 2012 Author Share Posted October 25, 2012 Last nights walk was amazing, 4.23 miles. I was hoping that I would have been tired enough to go to sleep when I got home last night but nope, I was up until 3am. Naturally I didn't get to the gym this morning. I swear this is so frustrating. I know I need to talk to my doctor about changing my sleeping pill or upping the dosage, I just don't want to go down there for that. I haven't had the need to see him, I have been feeling good and nothing is ailing me aside from the fact that I just can't sleep. I'll walk again tonite, hopefully I will have the same motivation I had last night. I don't feel so bad when I am able to at least walk. Certainly will try to hit the gym tomorrow morning. My grandsons 5th birthday is on November the 7th. He's been wanting a Nintendo DS, (his sisters and brother have one) so I bought him one today. One of my coworkers was selling one brand new in the box for 70 dollars. I can't wait to see his face when he opens his gift. I love him so much, he's going to be so happy. Now I just need to find a couple of games that he will like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted October 26, 2012 Author Share Posted October 26, 2012 My neck and shoulder are worse today. On a good note, I did get a little more sleep last night than I usually do but I woke up stiff and achy. My daughter stopped by with 2 of the grandbabies and a little boy that she now babysits. It's funny how I can tell the kids 100 times to stay out of the kitchen and as soon as they walk out, they turn around and walk back in. I know Jade was looking for veggies or fruit in the fridge but I haven't been to the market all week and sadly my fridge is bare. What is it about a kitchen that attracts kids? I wish they were equally attracted to the dirty dishes in the sink. LMAO I'm anticipating a quiet day at work. Most of the bus assignments were dont prior to my starting the shift so it's card filing for me to day. That usually goes well with a youtube video. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Kitchens are were the fun always is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 I was walking last night, had a really good tempo going and was already in my 3rd mile when my knee just buckled and I nearly hit the ground. I had to limp and hobble back to the office. It still hurts today so I don't think i will be doing any walking for the next few days. My personal trainer coworker friend of mine told me to rest it for a few days. That naturally scares me because when i start resting is when I start gaining. I'm so annoyed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Don't be annoyed mama! It's your body's way of telling you to rest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted October 29, 2012 Author Share Posted October 29, 2012 Don't be annoyed mama! It's your body's way of telling you to rest! I rested it the next day, didn't do any exercising. Yesterday I was at the gym bright and early though. I did a test run of sorts, I walked on the treadmill for a bit at a slower speed and with varying degrees of incline. I did ok but definitely felt some twinges in the knee so I knew not to push it too hard. Still holding around 176-177. I suppose if I was fanatical about my food and watched every single calorie I would lose more but I'm not going to get all crazy like that. Depriving myself is what made me say to hell with it and did what I wanted for 3 weeks. No working out, ate everything I wanted and yeah I gained 3 lbs. LOL I've since lost those lbs and I will continue to work out and not eat crap but I'm also not going to be super fanatical either. The weight will come off when it's supposed to. I also think part of my problem is the minimal sleep. I know they say that you need adequate rest for good weight loss but I hardly sleep so that could be an issue as well. Either way, I'm not in a huge rush. Jesse is doing well on dialysis and if I thought he were in immediate danger I would haul ass to get it done as quick as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted October 29, 2012 Author Share Posted October 29, 2012 Really enjoying a quiet OT day at work. Knock on wood, it has been super quiet here. No bus breakdowns, no bus drivers complaining about anything. Since this office is a 2 person team and both people took off today, I manned one desk and advised my boss that I will do the duties of the other desk (bus inspections) but I'm staying over. So today will basically be a 10-12 hour OT day. Will try to hit the gym tonite after work. I have everything ready to go, just need a willing body. Not sure how willing I will be after all those hours, we'll see. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted October 30, 2012 Author Share Posted October 30, 2012 Today is one of those days where everything just feels off. There is some bad juju in the air, I'm feeling it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted November 1, 2012 Author Share Posted November 1, 2012 I really dislike when the wives or girlfriends of my coworkers call here looking for them. There is usually some akwardness when I come back on the line to tell them that their SO isn't responding to the page. Right now a wife called looking for her husband and after a few pages went out, one of the guys informed me he had already left. (worked just a half day). I just told her that he isn't responding to the page. I wasn't about to tell her that her husband left work early. Yikes..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntress0527 Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 Yeah that must feel awkward! Sorry that you don't know where your husband is, ma'am. Shady! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 Yeah it's always weird when it happens, except for us it's husbands calling to look for their wives. One husband got jealous because one of our floor techs answered our phone one day and he wanted to know 'who that guy she was working with' was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 Depression has kicked in again, well it's been lingering but I think I've been doing pretty well keeping my emotions in check but something just feels off. Anyway, not sure why but all of a sudden I got the urge to start looking at dogs at the local shelters online. Sigh.... I told myself that I didn't want another dog after losing Marco this past May. I had him for 13 or 14 years, I had lost his friend years before that and I swore once Marco left I would never own another dog so why do I find myself wanting one now? Having a dog made things difficult sometimes like when I traveled out of town and relied on my family to walk and care for him. I don't live in a house so it's not like he had a yard to relieve himself in. I don't know, I guess I'm just feeling lonely at the moment, like I need to love something. Maybe I don't have my emotions in as good as check as I thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 ((Hugs)) I hope you feel in better spirits soon. Ever consider volunteering to walk shelter dogs? I know you like to walk for exercise. It would allow you to bond with them without having to take one home. Just make sure it is a no-kill shelter so you won't be depressed if a dog you knew was put down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 ((Hugs)) I hope you feel in better spirits soon. Ever consider volunteering to walk shelter dogs? I know you like to walk for exercise. It would allow you to bond with them without having to take one home. Just make sure it is a no-kill shelter so you won't be depressed if a dog you knew was put down. That's is something that I have always suggested to my son that lives with me but not something I had ever considered doing. I do like to walk, I love to walk so I don't see why I couldn't. Sadly the only shelters that are near me that I know about are the city run shelters and they are high kill. It's sad but that is what happens when people over breed their animals or don't get them fixed and they just run amok. I would say 90% of the dogs currently in the shelters near my home are pitbulls. It's such a sad thing to see. Thanks Bella, I'm going to look into your suggestion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 The pain in my neck and upper back is just getting to be too much to deal with. My insurance doesn't offer chiropractic coverage so I think my only option now is to scour the Groupon site and just find groupons for various chiropractors in my area. It's cheaper than just paying outright. I found one that offers an exam and then a 60 minute therapeutic massage based on the chiropractors recommendations for just 29 dollars. I don't think I could find a one hour massage anywhere on this planet for that price so I might as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted November 8, 2012 Author Share Posted November 8, 2012 Today is my grandson's 5th birthday. I totally suprised him with a Nintendo DSi, a new Mario case, some Mario game cases and a Mario stylus, and some other game that I know he would like. I don't think he was expecting it because he had asked me a couple of weeks ago how much would a Nintendo DS cost and I said "ohh baby they are a lot of money" and he says "you don't have a lot of money huh nana" and I told him no I didn't. But what my little lover face didn't know is that I had already bought it and I won't lie, I was dying to give it to him then but I waited until today. There is no denying, this lady loves her grandbabies very much. I had Kayleigh (7 years) over yesterday because she hadn't been feeling well and I know it gets kinda hectic with all the kids at her house so I told her mom that I would keep her. Well naturally Kayleigh felt much better and I took her home today. She told her mom that her nana loved her so much that she got all better. Awwww Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted November 9, 2012 Author Share Posted November 9, 2012 I swear to God, what is it about people in customer service that are just so rude? I called my union benefits office to find out when I can expect some paperwork to re-enroll my son on my insurance. I explained to her that I had already been given two different stories and her response to me..... "so your'e calling to see if I tell you something different ?" (and that contemptuous tone she had, I wanted to punch her in the throat). I'm really just fed up with everyone today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted November 9, 2012 Author Share Posted November 9, 2012 I have been looking at pictures of dogs online that are available for adoption at various local animal shelters. I'm really thinking about it. I'm kinda suprised at myself because I was pretty sure I didn't want another dog but the truth is I feel lonely. Maybe I have empty nest syndrome, I don't know. My grandchildren usually alternate weekends with me, although a few weekends can pass without me having any of them. My mom is usually upstairs in her room, she and I don't have a close relationship anyway. My older son is usually holed up in his room and when he's not, he's just sort of doing his own thing. He's kind of a loner if you will. My baby is in college in the morning and when he gets out all of his free time is spent with his girlfriend. Jesse and I don't really see each other that much. Our work schedules are opposite so when he's awake and working, I'm sleeping and vice versa. I usually see him on Sundays for lunch and football. I think I just miss something or someone loving me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted November 10, 2012 Author Share Posted November 10, 2012 Today is a little better. I'm not so emotional and not in as much physical pain as I have been. The neck still hurts but it is do-able. The weather outside is just wonderful, really windy and cool. I wish I was anywhere but at the office. I probably could have taken a day off but since I am broke this week, I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere so I would have sat at home. That's no fun. lol Yes today will be another file some work cards day while watching crime stories on youtube. I am blessed with a laid back job, for that I am grateful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 I took a vacation day today so I could help watch my granddaughters, my daughter took the boys to Knotts Berry Farm. On their way home, she was rear ended by a speeding car. Everyone checked out ok in the ER, she has whiplash, sprains, and bruising. My grandsons also seemed to have come out of the accident without serious injuries, again just bruising and neck strain. The 5 year old is still crying though saying that his legs are hurting. The doctors didn't find anything serious so I'm thinking it was just from being knocked around in the car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Oh no!! I'm glad everyone is okay! I can imagine the little ones were scared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I took a vacation day today so I could help watch my granddaughters, my daughter took the boys to Knotts Berry Farm. On their way home, she was rear ended by a speeding car. Everyone checked out ok in the ER, she has whiplash, sprains, and bruising. My grandsons also seemed to have come out of the accident without serious injuries, again just bruising and neck strain. The 5 year old is still crying though saying that his legs are hurting. The doctors didn't find anything serious so I'm thinking it was just from being knocked around in the car. Awwwwwwwwwww your poor daughter and babies Metro!! I am sorry. I hope they heal up soon. Neck injuries take so long. Tell them to go to physio if they have insurance. Thank God no one was more injured than that!! I will pray for all your babies. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntress0527 Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Being a car wreck is scary enough as an adult. Thank goodness no one was seriously injured! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 2, 2012 Author Share Posted December 2, 2012 He's depressed. The social worker said it could happen, that it's pretty common for someone to fall into a depression when they have serious medical issues. He was doing well so I thought until just a few days ago when he started getting really testy with me. Just more onery, picking arguments for no apparent reason. He told me last night that he is really depressed, that he is tired of dealing with everything associated with having kidney failure. I won't pretend to understand what he is going through. I can only speak as a caregiver, the stresses that I face everyday trying to make his life as least complicated as possible. I feel hurt and confused, that he chose me to lash out at. I'm the one that goes above and beyond the call of duty to take care of him. I try so hard to make him happy, I thought overall things were good. Now we are strained. I'm tired, he tired but were tired for different reasons. I don't know if he will go to counseling. He has monthly visits at the hospital that include seeing the kidney doc, the dietician, the pharmicist (to monitor the dosing of the home injections), and a social worker. The social worker does a basic questionnaire with him every time and every month he tells her he is fine. I wonder how long he has been lying to both of us. It would have been easier to just admit that he is depressed and we could have hopefully started there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 Hugs. It's so hard to help someone who is resistant to helping himself and who won't be truthful with those that are trying to help him. Just remember your own self-care in all of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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