metrogirl Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Today hasn't really been a good day for me. I couldn't sleep last night, I had a migraine and of course laying down makes my head throb even more. I was going to come into work early today but since I went to sleep late, I woke up too late to work OT. I did go to the gym though, it was my first day back. Partly frustrated because I felt rushed because it was late, I still needed to wash my clothes for work and prepare my lunch. My washing machine died but lucky for me it died after I had washed my clothes for today but now I need to plunk down some money for another one. I arrived at work to find an email from my former best friend. She and I had been friends for a lot of years but her mental unstability and paranoia complicated things between us and ultimately the friendship was damaged. Jesse tried to help us meet in the middle thinking our friendship could be saved but ultimately she's just too toxic to be friends with. Lord knows I tried but our last falling out was because of her paranoia. Jesse and I were going to Vegas for the weekend and she was going to be house hunting out there. He had asked her if she wanted to go with us so she wouldn't have to spend money on a hotel. She said that would be good. She and I had emailed back and forth and I told her that to help her save even more money, she could use my car to do her house hunting that way she wouldn't have to rent one. Somehow in her paranoid mind, she came to the conclusion that I thought she was looking for a free ride and just wanted to mooch off of me and Jesse. I never said anything remotely close to that and I was kind of offended that we were now back in the same boat that we had been in before. She never did go with us and I was fine with that. He kept saying that it was somehow my fault that she and I can't be friends. I know he likes her, and her him but that doesn't mean I have to like her. Actually when she is not paranoid she is actually a lovely person to be around but she clearly has issues that she won't address and I can't be around toxic people. So anyway getting back to the email that she had sent, basically she blasted me and said some not so nice things. She accused me of the friendship failing, said that I probably sit around work talking about her to others, and that she no longer wants to be friends with Jesse because he is my boyfriend. I thought about responding to her email and I could think of a thousand things I want to say but I think it's best to just let this go. I remember years ago when my relationship with Jesse was so toxic that I always felt like I had to walk on eggshells, I don't want that kind of friendship with her. I never know what is going to set her off, so it's really best to just walk away with my head held high. It just sucks though because I will have to listen to Jesse ramble on and on about how it could work blah blah blah.. sigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I'm sorry about you feeling rushed mama. That's one of the top things that makes me unmotivated if I feel like I'm rushing through a work out. She def. sounds toxic. Would Jesse just not talk about her any more if you asked him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 I'm sorry about you feeling rushed mama. That's one of the top things that makes me unmotivated if I feel like I'm rushing through a work out. She def. sounds toxic. Would Jesse just not talk about her any more if you asked him? I don't know if he would stop talking to her if I asked but he knows I would never ask such a thing. That right there is the difference between Jesse and I. If he doesn't like someone or has a falling out with someone he thinks that I should hate the person too. He sees it as me not backing him up. I've explained to him many times that just because he dislikes a person for whatever reason, that I don't have to follow in his footsteps. I get along well with many people that he and I mutually work with. I can't hate everyone because he wants me to. Now previously this caused problems in our relationship, not so much now because we are in a much better place but when our relationship was at that toxic level, his reasoning made things worse of course. He's more than welcome to talk to her, but she said she isn't going to answer his calls or texts anymore because of me, that she is moving out of town and changing her number. I went for my walk on my lunch break and it was really weighing heavy on my mind and instinctively I started thinking of response scenarios but I caught myself and just kept saying over and over "it's not worth it, let it go". So that is what I am going to do, just let it go. I don't need the added stress, I've worked so hard to de-stress as much as I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 JC Penny's has a promotion right now where they are giving free haircuts to children. My daughter had scheduled their appt a few weeks ago and today was the big day. Jade and Kayleigh both got really cute haircuts, Kayleigh had about 4-5 inches taken off and got some cute new bangs. All eyes were on Jade though. Jade had hair almost to her waist and when my daughter told the stylist to cut it short everyone gasped. LOL She explained that Jade's hair was being donated to Locks of Love. Jade now has a bob cut and it is absolutely adorable. She loves it and I'm so proud that some child will have a new hair piece made for them from Jade's beautiful hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Awww she's so adorable! The short hair suits her just like the long hair did! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Too cute!!! Her new do looks great on her. :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 Maybe I'm getting old, maybe I'm just distracted but I seem to be forgetting everything these days. So absent minded, it's like wth? Today is a perfect example. I woke up early so I could go to the gym and do a decent workout and sit in the jacuzzi for a bit and then still come home and wash clothes and prepare food before I had to start getting ready for work. I pack my gym bag, I go over the contents twice just to make sure I'm not forgetting anything. Swimsuit check, bath towel check, workout hand towel in the car check, shampoo and conditioner and body loofah thingy check, flipflops check. My son comes downstairs and removes my new combination padlock from it's packaging and checks the combination to make sure it works. Check... everything is in order. I grab my bag and hit the road. I arrive at the gym, I'm excited because I really have missed working out and I have been looking forward to this. Dig through my bag so I can lock the locker, lock isn't in the bag. Nevermind, I will just use the pay lockers (.25 cents), I dig in the bag for my wallet, no wallet. Nice...... I figure alright, I will just call my son and he can bring the lock or my wallet only to find that I didn't bring my cell phone either. Really Metro??? You forgot all of that? No wallet in case you get pulled over, no phone in case of an emergency. So I had no choice but to drive home get my lock, wallet and phone and drive back. Now I have wasted precious time and while I still worked out, this mornings events were weighing heavy on my mind. I hate that recently I have to double and even triple check stuff because I'm just so forgetful. I'm going to take a vacation day on Saturday. I have plans to spend a fair amount of time at the gym, definitely hit the jacuzzi for a bit. I'm hoping I can convince Jesse to play hookie that day and he and I can maybe spend some time together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 This morning was better, at least I didn't forget anything. I kept checking to make sure I had everything in my bag. I wasn't even going to go to the gym this morning but since I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep, I thought what the hay? Did some cardio and finally got to sit in the jacuzzi. After I went to the Sears outlet to get some more pants because mine are just falling off. I feel so sloppy with my big baggy clothes and don't want to spend a lot on a new wardrobe because I'm not even close to where I want to be. I was able to score 2 pairs of pants on the clearance rack and one pair on sale so all 3 pairs cost just under 16 dollars. LOL I'll probably drop off the bigger stuff at Goodwill. Now I just need to look for some smaller tshirts. Today is another scorcher outside. The weatherman on the news said it's cooling down but I think he lied to millions of people in SO Cal because it's hotter today than it has been recently. I really can't wait for the fall weather to get here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 18, 2012 Author Share Posted August 18, 2012 I'm going to have my grandsons this weekend, well 3 of them tonite and partially tomorrow and then just 2 of them for the rest of the weekend. Trying to figure out where I can take them that isn't going to break the bank and definitely not somewhere outside in this triple digit heat. Initially I had thought about the beach but it's going to be super hot and we would probably burn to a crisp out there. Maybe I should take the older 2 to a movie after I drop off the baby. Hmmm decisions, decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 This heat is really just getting to me now. I can't sleep, I'm irritable, I feel paralyzed almost. I didn't go to the gym today and honestly don't know if I even want to go tomorrow. I can't even think straight at this point. I have 2 of my grandsons here, had 3 earlier but my daughter picked up the baby. The heat is getting to the kids too. Matty is testing my patience and I really wish he wouldn't. I can't remember how many times I have had to ask him to stop doing something or to settle down. Finally I said "If you continue to act up, the next thing you are going to hear from me is "get your shoes" and we are going straight to your mom's house". I don't know if it's an age thing or just him being rebellious for whatever reason. He will be 10 next month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 I didn't eat much today because it was just too hot, now it's 9:15 at night and my stomach is growling and I don't want to eat this late. grrrr I'm outside of my front door, it's warm outside but it's not as hot outside as it is inside my house. The kids are playing in the living room, I'm gonna put them down for bed at 10. I have the daunting task of trying to find a new washing machine and the only thing that has captured my attention tonite is the Seahawks beating the Broncos in week 2 of the preseason. Oh how I love football. Which reminds me, as much as I love advocating organ donation, I need to change my avatar to the Seahawks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 Made it to the gym this morning, did an hour of cardio and 45 minutes of various abs and leg machines. I weighed myself this morning and the scale showed a couple lbs increase. Im approaching that time of the month so that could be it or maybe it was the 10 bottles of water I had yesterday. Normally I don't drink that much but my goodness the heat is unbearable. My son is working on installing an AC unit that Jesse bought for me from a coworker. I should know in a couple of hours if I am indeed going to have AC in this living room or not. Fingers crossed. My other son is feverishly working on cleaning on the house because we are having the wresting pay per view tonite and he's invited his friends to come over. I already told him I was'nt feeding anyone this time. Normally I go all out and feed everyone but with this heat I didn't want to cook in the hot kitchen or grill outside. So everyone better come with full tummys, because the best I will do today is chips and soda. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 So glad you got your AC fixed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 AC is working and my living room is nice and cool. Too bad the upstairs part of the house is still an oven but oh well, if someone wants AC upstairs they are going to have to pitch in for the light bill, otherwise just come hang out in the living room. LOL Yesterday's gym workout left me with sore abs. I'm going to do my Zumba class at 7:00pm, do some shopping at Target afterward and then I'm going to head to the gym (thankfully it's all in one place and work on bicepts and back today. Intially I was going to do the machines tomorrow but I can't be sure I will have time inthe morning to workout before work and I don't want to miss not working out so tonite it is. I'm feeling brave and will probably die from exhaustion after. Maybe I will sleep better tonite if I work out late. Jesse took me to lunch today. He wanted to go to this place called Johnny's Shrimpboat. I said "Jesse, really?" "are you trying to sabotage my hard work"? This place makes amazing fried shrimp and it is served with rice and brown gravy. Normally I would jump at the chance to go but not now, I won't. The shrimp is probably loaded with 10 million calories. So we settled on Panda Express and I had a tiny bit of chow mein noodles and some green beans with chicken. After lunch I asked where he wanted to go next, (I was driving) and he said to the appliance store so he could buy me a washing machine. Ohhhh happy days... It was delivered within an hour and I have already washed 3 loads of clothes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 22, 2012 Author Share Posted August 22, 2012 I found out last night that the lady I worked with for 5 years, her husband passed away suddenly over the weekend. I had just talked to her on Friday, everything was fine. He had been battling hypertension and gout for awhile. I heard he had been to the dentist and didn't feel well after. He was complaining of a severe headache and I guess he passed within hours of that. I always loved when she told me their story. They met when they were younger but she was married and he said he would wait however long it took. Her marriage eventually ended in divorce and she was single for many years after. They ran into each other at church 30 years later and you know what, he married her. He said he would have waited decades more for her if he had too. They were best friends and now she is alone. The sad part is I haven't even called her. I have no clue what to say. I keep thinking if it were me in that situation, I wouldn't want anyone calling me so I feel like if I call her, I'm going to bother her. I have never been good with this type of situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 That is so sad! I'm with you on this, I never know what to say or do in those types of situations because everyone reacts differently to loss. I know I'd want to be left alone for a period of time just to grieve and not hear all the cliches 'time heals all wounds' or 'it will get better'. Sometimes the best thing you can do to show your support is silence. Do you work with her now currently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 That is so sad! I'm with you on this, I never know what to say or do in those types of situations because everyone reacts differently to loss. I know I'd want to be left alone for a period of time just to grieve and not hear all the cliches 'time heals all wounds' or 'it will get better'. Sometimes the best thing you can do to show your support is silence. Do you work with her now currently? No she is at my old work location. I called her cell phone today and her daughter answered, they were at the mortuary making arrangements. I just told her to give her mom my condolences and if she needed to talk to me, to please call. She did send me the information for the viewing and funeral so I will go to at least one of those. His death really shook me up. She and I would talk about our men and how stubborn they are when it comes to going to the doctor and taking meds. I think of Jesse and how he is so similar to her husband. It didn't help that when I went to Jesse's house yesterday to organize his medicine in the weekly pill box thingy that I found several doses that he had missed. Naturally I was angry, scared, and already emotional. I think I was really more disappointed than anything. I asked him how if he can't remember to take the meds he has to take now was he going to remember to take anti rejection drugs when he gets a kidney? I don't know if he doesn't get it, doesn't care, or is just hoping for the best with whatever happens. He talks to a friend of mine everyday and she said that he really thinks he is ok just taking one dose of his meds and doesn't think it's a big deal that he sometimes misses his second dose. In the meantime, I am giving 150% of what I can to make sure this happens for him. I want 150% in return. It's that time of the month so I am really emotionally charged at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 I've been working out, at the gym and also walking here at work on my lunch hour. Most days, I am getting in anywhere from 90-120 minutes of cardio! I've been working on different muscle groups every other day. definitely losing inches, but I seem to have hit a plateau again. Hopefully this plateau doesn't last as long as the last one. Grrrr. Overall, I do feel pretty good though. I have more energy, my mood is better for the most part. I'm still struggling with my memory though, that just blows my mind. This morning I checked and double checked my gym bag to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. I get to the gym and realize I didn't have my mp3 player. I drive all the way home to get it only to find it in the back seat where I had put it last night after my walk. Yes at that moment, I launched a couple of F bombs and some other choice words but made it back to the gym and had a really good workout. Not walking tonite though, it's going to be a coupon night. I'm going to start clipping and sorting and head out to the stores later tonite when it cools down. There are deals to be had and I'm going to have them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 25, 2012 Author Share Posted August 25, 2012 I found all my deals at the store, doing my happy dance. Hoping I can get some sleep tonite and head to the gym in the morning for some cardio and maybe a dip in the jacuzzi. I was planning on working OT this sunday at my former work location but a girl that is being sent over there to cover someone else's shift called me to say she was taking the OT instead. Technically she has the right to take it since she will be placed there for work and I don't work at that location. Kinda bummed because I was looking forward to a little extra money but I guess everything happens for a reason. Jesse and I were gonna have a date but we weren't going out until later in the day after he disconnected from the dialysis machine. Now he's thinking about taking off Saturday night so he can connect to the machine early, then he can disconnect early and we can have a much earlier date. YAY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 You are a machine with your workouts!!! I laugh when I read about you forgetting or misplacing things because it is all too familiar. I do something like that myself just about every day ( keys, water bottle, my cell phone.... And last week first: forgot my entire handbag and realized it halfway to work) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 25, 2012 Author Share Posted August 25, 2012 You are a machine with your workouts!!! I laugh when I read about you forgetting or misplacing things because it is all too familiar. I do something like that myself just about every day ( keys, water bottle, my cell phone.... And last week first: forgot my entire handbag and realized it halfway to work) Well I'm glad to know I'm not the only person with memory issues. LOL Yeah I'm doing okay with working out although I didn't get to the gym this morning. I didn't fall asleep until 2am, I tossed and turned half the night and then I was awake at 6am. I stayed awake for about an hour and a half and finally went back to sleep and I think I was sleeping pretty good until there was this loud knock on the door. Startled me, it was so loud. I answer the door, it's a rude cable man insisting he has an appointment with me. NOOOOOOO you don't! "Well I'm looking for so and so at 3025" I said "this is 3031" He just walks away, no apology nothing. A first class donkey. I brought my workout clothes so I can walk tonite on my lunch but before I do that, I am going to check and see if the eliptical machine upstairs in the breakroom works. People here say it does, I have never seen anyone use it but then no one here really exercises anyway so I'm going to look into that. If it works, then I can start using that for an hour instead of walking and then I can burn more calories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 I didn't go to the gym this morning myself. Chub rub deterred me, as well as the intense workout I had on the eliptical machine yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 29, 2012 Author Share Posted August 29, 2012 I did cardio last night, an hour at the gym. I wanted to go back this morning for more cardio and to do back and bicepts today but I didn't sleep well and it was a struggle to get up this morning. I have my workout clothes with me so I'm going to race to the gym when I get off work tonite and workout for a little bit before they close. I weighed in this morning at 180. I don't trust either of my scales to be honest. I can weigh myself on both and there is always a 3-5 lb difference. I have been using the same scale though to weigh myself each time so hopefully I have somewhat of an accurate answer. I've been working out pretty regularly and eating decently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 You're doing really well Metro. I am so very happy for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted August 29, 2012 Author Share Posted August 29, 2012 You're doing really well Metro. I am so very happy for you. Thank you hon. You gave me so much feedback in that one post of yours. I go back and read it from time to time just because it wows me, your strength and wisdom and how you spend so much time trying to help others get healthy and stay healthy. You miss petite, are truly an inspiration. I could only hope to be like you when I grow up. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.