BellaDonna Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 You sound like a super grandma!!!! I'm glad you enjoyed shopping and Yogi bear. Good luck with your BF's new course of treatment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 You sound like a super grandma!!!! I'm glad you enjoyed shopping and Yogi bear. Good luck with your BF's new course of treatment. Super Grandma, I like that. I think I will get a cape with a big SG on the front! LOL Ugh, I didn't sleep last night. The baby was crying all night, he's been sick for the last few days so he's a cranky butt. Can't wait to get off work at 2:00p. I am thinking about going out for sushi with the best friend later today. Mmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 So completely frustrated at the moment, I just need to vent. I went out with the best friend last night and we had an amazing time, we always do. Once my evening was done, I went to the boyfriends house to check on him. He clearly hasn't been well the last few days. His body is swollen all over, his feet and toes look like a couple of balloons that are ready to just pop at any moment. When I went to hug him, I could tell that he was hot so I took his temp and he had a fever. I pleaded with him to just let me take him to the ER so he could get checked. His kidney doctor also told him previously that if he swells too much or feels worse otherwise he needs to be looked at by an ER doctor. The boyfriend would not budge, he said he didn't want to go because he doesn't want to be admitted. I told him that he really should just get used to the idea of being in the hospital because it's gonna happen eventually. I think it's inevitable. I left his house last nite just so frustrated. I went back this morning and his fever was gone but the swelling is still severe, he's now coughing which makes me worried about pnemonia (sp) especially because of the fever last night. I don't know why he is being so stubborn. I can't help him if he won't help himself. I'm hoping tomorrow since we will already be at the hospital for an appointment with the vasuclar surgeon, that he will just go down to the ER and get checked out. I asked him if he would be willing to go that route and he said yes but I have my doubts. He got off the phone with me a little while ago and he told me loved me which isn't unusual because he tells me that all the time but he put more emphasis on it this time and I so badly wanted to tell him that if he truly loved me he wouldn't be working against me because I don't want to be that grieving girlfriend. I didn't go there but I probably should have. I want to grow old with him and I really feel in my heart that I am going to be alone soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidehop Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I'm sorry to hear that Metro but you're probably right; he needs to know honestly that this isn't just about him either and involves you. It does sound serious already, I do hope he does change his mind and get checked out soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 My best friend wants me to have a paint party at my house. My daughter and the babies are moving out and it will just be my two sons and my mom with me now. The house as you can imagine from so many kids being there looks a bit rundown. I wanted to move into a cheaper place but it looks like I won't be able to do that this year so I might as well fix it up and make it look like 4 adults live there and not 81 kids. LOL I've been looking on Craigslist for some decent inexpensive house goods and the best friend wants to hit some estate sales to see what we can find. He has been my number one supporter through everything I have endured over the years. Always there to lift me up and make sure I keep going. I don't spend much time at home anymore but I would love to be able to go home to a tidy and somewhat nicely decorated house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I'm sorry he's being so stubborn. Maybe he feels like there's no point? Decorating is hard, but so worth it in the end. It sounds like a great idea. Something just for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 I'm sorry he's being so stubborn. Maybe he feels like there's no point? Decorating is hard, but so worth it in the end. It sounds like a great idea. Something just for you I wonder that as well Sherry. Something occurred to me today, this time 6 years ago his father was in the hospital. He had suffered another stroke and he passed away a few days later. I wonder if that also has something to do with his not wanting to go. He called me a little while ago and said he was frustrated with the way he is feeling. So far we are still in agreement to go to the ER right after his appt tomorrow. I told him that all I wanted for Valentines Day was his cooperation so that we could spend the next 30 Valentine Days together. I might have to bug you for some decorating advice soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 That's really romantic Medical science has come a long way, I'm sure if he cooperates he could live a long long life. I don't know how much help I would be, but feel free hehehe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 That's really romantic Medical science has come a long way, I'm sure if he cooperates he could live a long long life. I don't know how much help I would be, but feel free hehehe. Weren't you talking about some redecorating you did? Or do I have my wires crossed? LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 My daughter brought me coffee at work. I'm stuck doing a double, (I know I know, Sherry is probably shaking her head at me right now), so she brings me the coffee and I asked how the move was going. She said they are all staying at their new place tonite and the kids seems excited. I asked about Aidan (3 yr old) because he is usually stuck to me like glue and she said she showed him his new bed and he asked where his pillow pet is. So she's going back to my house to get their pillow pets. I hope he is going to be okay. He's never been away from me. I'm happy for them, but I want to cry. I'm going to go home to an empty house tomorrow morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Empty Nest syndrome MG? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 Empty Nest syndrome MG? Exactly! Now I understand the pain some parents feel when their children leave home. Actually she could have left and I would have been okay, it's just harder because of the grandbabies. But, I am thankful that they are going to be just about a mile away so it's not like I am never going to see them. I'll be alright, I just have way to many different emotions going on right now with everything happening in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 I thought I would share with you guys what I got him for Valentines Day. He is really hard to shop for, he doesn't really have any hobbies per se other than being a sports nut and I have already bought him so much sports related stuff. I wanted to go outside the norm a little bit. He always went to the Stardust Hotel and Casino in Vegas, that was his spot for many years. He was actually a VIP there and he knew Wayne Newton, had drinks with him one night at the bar! That place was very special and sentimental to him and when it was imploded back in 2007 he actually shed a tear. I found a seller on Ebay that had some memorabilia from the hotel and I bought him a casino chip since black jack was his primary table game. I know it will mean a lot to him to have something from there. I'm pretty sure he has a cup or a shirt or something but I am 99% sure he doesn't have this. link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 That's really cool!!! Love it!!! Great new avatar pic too, by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Oh thaqt's an awesome gift MG! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 Thank you OG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I'm not judging I hope the transition to empty nest goes smoothly for all of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 I'm not judging I hope the transition to empty nest goes smoothly for all of you! HAHA... thanks love. It was funny because as I was typing out the double part you were the first person that popped into my head. I could just see you shaking your finger at me "metro you work way too much". This is how I know that the people here of ENA (my e-family) have a profound affect on me. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 HAHA... thanks love. It was funny because as I was typing out the double part you were the first person that popped into my head. I could just see you shaking your finger at me "metro you work way too much". This is how I know that the people here of ENA (my e-family) have a profound affect on me. LOL That and ENA dreams, lol. I think I had my first one the other night but I can't remember it... but I KNOW ENA was involved..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 That and ENA dreams, lol. I think I had my first one the other night but I can't remember it... but I KNOW ENA was involved..... Oh I have had plenty... It's humerous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 Three times I have come to the journal to update and then I think "wow it's gonna be way to much to write" but I guess that is what it is here for right? So let me try to shorten it a bit. First, he loved his Valentine's Day gift, he was really in awe when he saw it so I felt really good about my choice. He keeps it in his pocket for good luck. A lot has been going on lately, I am so very sleep deprived I'm not sure how I function but like clockwork I get up and go about the day knowing that I still have to deal with more stuff the next day. My daughter moved out so I spent a couple days going through the house, cleaning up and throwing some stuff away. Washed the clothes that were left behind and packed up some of the kids stuff that needed to be sent to their new apartment. The boyfriend and I participated in the kidney transplant class last Thursday, really interesting class and we both learned a lot. They are preparing his paperwork and he will need a full workup at UCLA and once everything is approved then his name will go on the UNOS list (United Network for Organ Sharing) for a kidney. In the meantime we have a few people, myself included that will be contacting UCLA after his name has been placed on the list to get tested as living donors. In the meantime we have been swamped with appointments. We were in the ER on Valentine's Day, (yes I got him to go, I think he realizes it's easier to give into what I want instead of fighting me on it). He's glad now that he did go because they gave him some medicine that helped him feel better. He has a lot going on at the moment and they can't fix everything right away but he was able to get some relief which was good. We saw the kidney specialist yesterday and then immediatedly after we had an appt in pre-op. He goes back on Tuesday for a 2nd pre-op appt and immediately following that appointment he has to see the anethesiologist. On Thursday he is getting a kidney biopsy done and Friday he has to get an Echocardiogram done on his heart (they have already said he is in congestive heart failure). He is having surgery on the 1st to get the AV Fistula done and then 3 days later it's back to the kidney doctor, post op a few days after that and then 2 days of iron infusions. These are only the appointments that we know of for now, there will likely be some more added to that list as they need to put in a temporary catheder to start dialysis right away, he doesn't have time to wait for the fistula to strengthen, that takes two months. In the meantime he isn't working and has already exhausted his sick leave so he's not getting paid. Fortunately for him he has always had little nest eggs here and there so he will be okay for now. The doctor did say he can resume working but with restrictions and so the next step is to see if mgmt can accommodate those restrictions. If they can't or won't then he will just take a few months off until he is stronger and healthier. Right now because of his severe anemia, he gets winded when walking and his job requires a lot of walking and manuevering around. He can't even walk from the car to the hospital building without having to stop every couple of minutes, there is no way he would be able to work his regular duties right now. Through it all, I just keep chugging along. I will admit, I am somewhat neglecting myself right now and I hope to change that soon. I think once he gets set up on dialysis and starts feeling better he will be able to do more for himself and then I can do what I need to for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 Note to self, do NOT read the memorials and tributes section on the UNOS website when you are at work. I have spent the last 90 minutes in tears. Why do I torture myself? Ugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 MG, I"m sorry to hear your schedule is so hectic. I hope everything works out in the end. I know my granddad gave one of his kidneys to someone - before he died - and my grandma always said he felt like it was the most selfless thing he ever did. I hope he finds a donor - either through live or other means. I know your thought process isn't on yourself right now but try to at least treat yourself here and there - a bubble bath after a long day, some quick make up on before going into town... remind yourself you are human and you have limitations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Don't read obits!! Also, don't read horror stories. When my sister was diagnosed with her health issue I read all these worst-case scenarios online and completely lost it. Not a good idea. Also, **hugs** I echo OG's sentiments. Something as small as a bubble bath or some nail polish.. or even just 10 minutes to do a bit of yoga or pilates works wonders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Hang in there. It sounds like a very busy time of change for you. Try not to neglect yourself too much. You still need your good health too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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