metrogirl Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 Dealing with a nasty migraine at the moment. It's hours past my bed time but laying down makes my head throb more: ( I already let the job know, if I'm not feeling better in the morning, I'm not going in. Ugh......this sucks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 Crap.......I still have a headache, not as bad as last night but a headache none the less. I came in because I got a text saying the girl in the morning was only staying over for 2 hours and there would be a gap of 2 hours where no one would be here. Sigh...... I guess it's good I came in though, we are having our little Christmas shindig here today. I hear it's being catered and they are serving bbq, not my favorite thing to eat and not something I would certainly eat while trying to lose weight so I will pack it up and take it to Jesse for lunch. Debating if I want to stay over on OT now that I am here. I really do have so much work to do and not much time to do it all. I have deadlines and they are quickly approaching, I just feel sort of pressured now. Yesterday I received the treatment schedule for Jesse. He starts taking an anti-rejection medicine on the 6th of Jan. On the 17th he will have his first Rituxin therapy and then once a week for five weeks after that, he will be doing plasmapheresis. I can't believe we are here, it just feels all so unreal still. Next thing on my agenda is to see my own doctor to find some other treatment for these migraines. Conventional migraine meds haven't worked for me and I really don't want to pop Codeine for the rest of my life, not to mention I'm not getting pain relief from those now either. So much to do, so little time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 18, 2013 Author Share Posted December 18, 2013 I have an appointment with my doctor today at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that I am making myself sick stressing out over everything and I'm trying to just go with the flow and whatever happens, happens. A coworker friend of mine yesterday pointed out that I always have a headache now or that I generally seem like I don't feel well and we talked about it a little bit yesterday. He said "Metro, you have to accept that you are doing everything you can and you can't beat yourself up worrying that it's not enough". He's right, logically I get it but how do I accept that as truth and practice it? That is where I struggle. I'm doing ok with working out and eating much better but I'm still terrified that Feb will come and they will turn me down because I didn't or couldn't do enough. My friend said to me "ok so they turn you down, then you keep doing what you are doing and eventually you will be where you need to be and the right things will happen". So the stress is definitely affecting me physically and emotionally. Really trying not to overthink it, at least for the day. I can only do one day at a time I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 Mama, maybe the moodiness is peri menopause ? I started getting really moody before the other things started. Then it was hot flashes an increase in migraines. My hair falling out and then skipping periods. I have not had a period now since July. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 18, 2013 Author Share Posted December 18, 2013 Mama, maybe the moodiness is peri menopause ? I started getting really moody before the other things started. Then it was hot flashes an increase in migraines. My hair falling out and then skipping periods. I have not had a period now since July. That could be completely possible because you know I've had issues with my period for a long time now. In fact, last month I had two and this month I was a week late and it's very light. I've felt really hormonal too. Maybe just a bad combination of everything all lumped into one nice package. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 That could be completely possible because you know I've had issues with my period for a long time now. In fact, last month I had two and this month I was a week late and it's very light. I've felt really hormonal too. Maybe just a bad combination of everything all lumped into one nice package. That would happen to me too. I would have two the same month and then none for 2 months and then reg for a few months and then messed up. I think my hormones are settling a bit now because I am not as witchy as I was. But I can tell you you feel like a complete alien in your mind and body for a few years there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 I think it might be headache season. I have been headache free (and migraines too) for almost a year --- and have had a low grade headache for days. And I am in/through menopause --- last hit was more than 4 years ago. Yeah!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 20, 2013 Author Share Posted December 20, 2013 *insert long drawn out Sigh here.......Sigggghhhhhhhh Apparently there is a conflict of schedule for Jesse's surgeon on the 7th so they want to push the transplant up to the 3rd which is not a big deal except for when someone is already frantic that they aren't going to lose the weight fast enough. Even with the date of the 7th, I was still in a frenzy, subtract 4 days from that and part of me is really trying to not have a full on anxiety attack. The 4th is the day before my son's 21st birthday. Not that we were going to party or anything but I was planning on taking him out for a nice dinner. We had just been joking about how I actually will be around this year for his birthday. Previous birthdays were usually Superbowl weekends and I'm always in Vegas for Superbowl. So we joked about how I will be here and we can do something together. Now I guess I won't be here and we won't be doing anything except him visiting me in a hospital room. Ok well not much I can do about that now, so snap out of it Metro. I'm in the office alone today on my day off, it's busy but not crazy. At least not yet. I'm trying to catch up on some long overdue paperwork but the task seems really daunting. I was going to work a 12 hour shift today so I could tackle some extra work but I'm going to hit the gym instead and I will just save my OT for next week. There will be plenty of work for me to tackle and since I missed the past few days at the gym, I really want to have a go at it today. Tomorrow is hiking day with the grandbabies and my daughter. As much as she said it hurt, she wants to do it again tomorrow with us. I spotted some trails that go towards the Hollywood sign, I'm gonna see how close we can get tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted December 21, 2013 Share Posted December 21, 2013 how much more weight do they want you to lose? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 24, 2013 Author Share Posted December 24, 2013 how much more weight do they want you to lose? When I had to lose weight just to start the testing process, I had made it down to 178 and they were good with that. They did say they would like me to lose more and that of course was reasonable, I mean I'm a bigger girl and naturally I need to lose weight to be healthy especially since I will only have one kidney. So as of this morning, I am 185 which means I need to lose 7 lbs to get to where I was and ideally I'd like to be at 170 when the transplant happens. I'm really kicking myself that I let myself gain so much weight back. Not much I can do about it now I guess but keep plugging away and just do the best I can. I mean it's not like I am sitting on the couch tearing up bags of Cheetos, I'm watching what I eat and I'm exercising when I can. It's harder now that I still don't have access to my car, I can't take off to the gym like before and the lake is a distance away. I do brisk walking here at work on my lunch and I do have access to the gym here at work although it's not the greatest, it's do-able. Deep breath, I guess I will get there eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 24, 2013 Author Share Posted December 24, 2013 I swear my whole life has revolved all of this transplant stuff. I just spent a better hour noting all of the appointments in my planner and scheduling days off that I need to accompany him and then trying to schedule my time off a week before surgery. There is good news to report..... We are going to Vegas this weekend. This will be our last hurrah so we are both looking forward to time away from work, friends, family, and all that transplant stuff. Not sure what the weather is going to be like out there but I'm taking my swimsuit so I can soak in the Jacuzzi because I honestly need to de-stress! Taking my gym clothes too, well because I need to. lol A little gambling and some shopping at the outlets, I will be a very happy girl. I told you guys about the little cat that seemed to have adopted us? What a little pill that cat is. lol We found out yesterday that she (at least I think it's a she, to be honest I haven't peeked down there) likes French fries. My grandson was sitting on the floor eating a happy meal and was getting a fry when the kitty decided it would be neat to first swat the fry around on the floor for a little bit before eating it. I also realized that I don't need to buy cat toys for her because she loves ear plugs. No lie.....she found one of my son's rubber ear plugs and races all around the house with that thing in her mouth, bats it like crazy and repeat. Now you ladies know not to spend your hard earned money on frivolous cat toys, just buy French fries and ear plugs. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 Be careful! I wouldn't let her play with earplugs because if she swallows it, it will be a very bad thing for her and she would need surgery!! Get a bigger toy for her, please. link removed Enjoy Vegas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 Be careful! I wouldn't let her play with earplugs because if she swallows it, it will be a very bad thing for her and she would need surgery!! Get a bigger toy for her, please. link removed Enjoy Vegas! Hmm, didn't think about that. Thanks Annie. Holy moly, it's like having another small child in the house. Ok ear plug has been tossed. I guess I will heading to the pet store to buy her some stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Oh don't I know that! Luna loves to play with, get this, her own poo. Yeah. If she's batting something brown around the house you can bet it's her poop. No idea why. She does love the glow up, squeaky mouse that was Jasper's Christmas present last year (and will play fetch with it). We have the issue of asking ourselves is she going to murder said toy before we buy it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luminousone Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 You don't need to spend money on toys- my cat loves boxes, plastic lids from the milk jug, ping pong balls, and she found a cloth covered foam ball of my sons that she used to carry around in her mouth. Oh, and string! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 My cats used to love a qtip dragged around by dental floss!! Favorite toy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 Excellent ideas ladies, thank you. She is such a handful, wow I forgot how crazy kittens are. At first she was leary about going upstairs but now she takes off like a bat right up the stairs to my mom's room. She likes to sit and watch the parakeets. So I'm at work today and I think I slept only 2 1/2 hours last night because my incredibly rude neighbors were partying half the night. The partying in itself wouldn't be so bad if they didn't have to play the music so freakin' loud. I should have just spent the night at Jesse's house since he was working overnight but I thought I would be able to sleep through it. At least now I know what I'm doing New Year's Eve, I'm sleeping at Jesse's while he is at work since I have to be in the office at 6am on New Year's Day. My boss was here at 3am, he was hanging out with Jesse when I drove up. Those two really hit it off which is good because Jesse can be a pill to deal with at times. So the boss tells me, "If you aren't busy, I have some wrapping I need you to do for me". Only at my job can a girl wrap presents for her boss and then sit there and watch football clips on Youtube with him. Love love love my job. Looking forward to leaving here at 2pm, so I can watch my family open their gifts. All of my children, grandchildren, and step grandchildren will be stuffed in my tiny living room. The only missing will be Jesse and that's because he will still be connected to his dialysis machine at home. So once I am done with my family, I will take him some Christmas dinner and his gifts and we will have Christmas together at his house. If all goes well, this will be his last Christmas connected to that machine. If I didn't get one gift, I would be perfectly content. I've been given the best gift, a soon to be new life with the man I love. Merry Christmas everyone from the Metro family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Merry Christmas! I hope everything goes well the next few months!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Really happy to read that this could be his last Christmas on dialysis I'm glad that even though you're stuck at work, you're entertaining yourself. The kitty sounds cute... they pretty much glom onto one thing and love it until it falls apart. Moe has a stuffed turtle with catnip in it that he goes to whenever he comes inside, and he likes to chew on paper, and chase treats around. No need to really buy them toys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 26, 2013 Author Share Posted December 26, 2013 Christmas was uneventful. I had so many people crammed into my little living room. My daughter showed up with the kids, my son and his soon to be wife shortly after. The kids were just bursting at the seams ready to open gifts. LOL Clearly it's a struggle for them to wait until the afternoon for Nana to get home. I was very proud of myself, I didn't go crazy this year with gifts and majority of what I did get were great bargains because everyone that knows me knows how I love to scope out the great bargains. I was given some lovely gifts. Jesse gave me just one gift yesterday, a green Seattle Seahawks shirt that I have been wanting. Actually he found one that was better than the one I wanted. The material is much softer, OMG I love it so much. He then said we can go pick out the laptop of my choice next week when we get back from Vegas. Woohoo. Nothing else to report really. 40 days and counting...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 31, 2013 Author Share Posted December 31, 2013 Vegas was just what we needed to decompress. We left Saturday morning and returned last night. I was really proud of him, I know Vegas is his playground and he can really get rowdy when he wants to. He had probably 4 beers on Saturday, we had an early dinner and he retired to the room right after. I wondered if he was just taking it easy for the next day which is football Sunday and that is usually when lets loose but he didn't touch a drop. We watched football at the bar, I drank only water and he alternated between water and juice. I asked him if it was difficult to refrain from drinking. Keep in mind that he's an alcoholic and has been drinking since he was a teenager. Now he doesn't drink daily and sometimes he can go months without touching a drop but then we would go to Vegas and he would binge drink. So this was our typical routine until this weekend and he it was completely different. He said it is hard but he also knows that this is how life is going to be now. No drinking, no carrying on. He will have a new organ and with that comes lots of nasty meds that can't be mixed with booze. I think he will be ok, at least I pray he will continue to find the strength to make the right choices. So we both made some money in Vegas, him more than I but that's fine. We stopped at the outlets for some shopping and he bought me some Coach perfume and a really nice Seahawks sweater. I didn't really shop although I was prepared to spend some money. The Coach store didn't really have anything I liked and Old Navy had some cute jeans but didn't want to commit to a certain size while I'm on this weight loss journey. Oh, in case anyone was wondering how Mama did in Vegas, I was super good. I worked out and I ate really good. Typically when I'm there, I'm a pig but not this time. I shocked even myself, really. Feeling good.... Feeling determined. 35 days............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 what a great weekend! I'm glad you guys had a good time. Keep him away from that booze! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 I swear I have the rudest neighbors. They don't care that some of us actually have to work on holidays and we need sleep. They were already in full party mode at 7pm last night. I had already decided after the Christmas fiasco that I was sleeping at Jesse's for New Years. It was beautiful, I watched college football and then I took a very hot bubble bath in his big tub and then I slept like a baby until 5am. He thanked me for leaving the heater on and making his bed. Dork...lol So I was going to pick up some grandbabies today but my daughter is taking them to Chuck E Cheese so when I get off work at 2pm, Im going to go home and put my Nike's on and probably go hiking. No one wants to go with me which sucks but whatever, I'm fine by myself. Feeling determined and I really want to just be outside today. It's 34 days until transplant and Jesse has an appointment on Friday to get the chest catheter put in. Monday he starts taking anti-rejection meds and then in a couple of weeks he starts his blood treatments. It's going to be a very busy month! I also found out yesterday that one of the girls here has taken a leave of absence which will allow me to work Saturdays OT. Hooray, I love to make my money and Saturday's are pretty quiet around here. Happy New Year everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Happy New Year! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Besides holidays, would you consider calling the cops on the neighbors? Some neighborhoods have noise ordinances... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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