Dating someone else means they are over you

[Anon333]

Any input on this? has anyone dated someone else right after a break up and just forget about their ex? When they do that does it mean they are over the person....?I just dont know how people do this. Guys especially it seems to me..

[captain_james]

It's called a rebound for a reason. They are filling the "emptiness" they feel from the relationship being over with someone else. The rebound almost NEVER works out for this reason. (As the attraction they feel is simply the hole being filled, not genuine.)

[Anon333]

well I feel like I could have been a rebound, and then he was with another girl about a week after we were dating....Me and him only really dated 6 or 7 months.....Can you rebound with a short relationship like that?

[Vince99]

I have been wondering this too...what are the averages for rebound time? If you date someone for 5 months, shouldn't, say, 9 months after the breakup be enough to get over them? I mean I realize it's different for everyone...but there's got to be an average.

[beautiful_love]

Sometimes people date others as a way to bury feelings of pain and loss. If a dating relationship occurs quickly after a breakup, there is a good chance this is what is happening.

 

I don't think we ever "get over" loss of love. We integrate that experience into our hearts; the love was real, and that person will always be a part of us. Sometimes people feel frightened of grief and loss, and so they seek relief in another relationship.

 

But it is healing to mourn the loss of a special person. We learn so much about ourselves, about life and love, through our pain, and through our healing.

[Anon333]

Seems if I could date someone to mask the hurt now I would....I think it would benefit...But I know if I forced myself to be with someone else, I would just be missing the comfort of him.....Isnt dating someone in the beginning awkward and new? I dont like that part of dating...I like the part where you ger comfortable with someone....SO I guess he is comfortable with her maybe already

[sbux_addict]

I think it depends on who broke up with who.

 

If you're the dump-er and you dated someone else right after, there's a good chance that you're over the past relationship. I only say this from experience with my longest relationship - by the time I broke up with my ex, I pretty much had already checked out a long time ago. So, after about a month or two, something developed between a new acquaintance and I and we ended up dating. It didn't last that long, but even when we broke up, I didn't want to get back together with the other ex.

 

If you're the dumpee and hooked up with someone else right after a relationship, you're most likely on a rebound.

 

Either way, I think that entering a new relationship right after another one has just ended is a HUGE no no. Sometimes it's good to be single and just process things for your own growth and learning experience.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

well I feel like I could have been a rebound, and then he was with another girl about a week after we were dating....Me and him only really dated 6 or 7 months.....Can you rebound with a short relationship like that?

 

Why do you say that you feel like you could have been the rebound....did he start dating you soon after his last relationship ended? It that is the case and now he quickly moved on to someone else, I would say that he is emotionally immature. In other words, his relationships would have more to do with his inability to be alone than about any great feelings for the person he is with. This guy just needs a woman around and he just bounces from one to the next in order to fill the gap.

[Anon333]

crazy, yeah...He moved out of living with an ex and he was my new roommate. He totally was into me right away. It took me a long time for me to warm up to him. He was so into me into the beginning and I ran around with other guys and was drinking alot and being destructive. He moved out, and I started to take him more serious. I eventually quit drinking and we tried to make things work, but there had been damage from the beginning, and he didnt like a guy I was friends with. He left me, and then we got back together for a week, him saying he wanted to be with me and that I would be a good mother, etc. etc.....Within a week he was with another woman.....Its been almost a month of no contact and I miss him dearly and wonder if he misses me in the least, or if I was just a joke and he just wanted me so bad in the beginning because he wanted anyone, and now that he has someone else, he doesnt need or think of me at all....sorry to bump this up after so much time...Im still trying to process all this...I miss him alot today and want to get over it...I wonder if I will ever hear from him again...

[troubleis]

6 or 7 months would seem longer than a rebound relationship. this sounds like a roller-coaster which wouldn't be ordinarily indicative of rebound either. the woman he was with 'within a week' after you broke up - that sounds like a rebound. it sounds like you're being less self-destructive which will serve you well in future relationships should this one be damaged beyond repair. i think your initial 'running around with other guys' probably stoked his attraction for you, but that's a very dysfunctional way to stoke attraction. so the roller-coaster template of this relationship makes perfect sense to me.

 

oh and vinceval - best post-signature quote ever. very true.