Bad timing, do I still have a chance?

[sns256]

So I had given my e-mail to this girl back in September/October. She never got back to me then, but I suddenly got an e-mail from her about 2 weeks ago saying that she was recently single and would like to get to know me better.

 

Over a few e-mails to each other it quickly became apparent that we both shared a lot of commonalities, likes, dislikes, values, morals, humor, nearly everything. Constant flirting. It was to the point that we would be chatting on msn/facebook/ or texting several hours per day. Our first date was supposed to be on Valentines Day initially. But she started to get stressed about that for a couple of reasons.

 

1) She isn't even 4 weeks out of her last relationship

2) She knows that it would be my very first Valentines Day, I had never kissed a girl yet, and she didn't want to pressure me.

 

BTW she became VERY interested in me once she found out about my inexperience, so that isn't an issue. She explained to me that she was looking for a nice guy because her type that she attracts are all assholes who treat her like crap. One way they would treat her like crap was to make her watch them play video games. I explained to her that I hated playing video games in front of people unless they are playing with me, else I won't play at all. I don't think she believed me, she was really hurt by them in the past. (more on this later). But we like teasing each other A LOT, it is fun.

 

So we decided to go out last Wednesday and see how it went. To put it simply it went awesome! We talked/flirted non stop for 2 hours, no awkward pauses at all. : )

 

I got home from the date and texted her that I got home fine and I had a great time. She and I talked for about an hour afterward about how to proceed. I'll post our conversation (its not super long, as we were just texting each other)

 

*I would like to note that we are texting because we are both a little shy and it is easier to get out how we feel right now.*

Wednesday 9:08PM

 

Me: "Well I managed to get home. : ) Not without blowing it at the end of your street and getting lost. : P I hope meeting tonight made u feel better! : ) I really enjoyed myself and talking with u. Hope u had a good time as well. : P"

 

Her: "LMAO : ). I was waiting for you to text me. lol Cause I know you don't drive and text : ) but ya. I feel better. I just don't know if you're my type... Like which is a good thing I guess because I'm trying to get away from that type lol! I am a very honest person. You are cute! I just don't think I realized how much into video games you were I guess lol..and that does worry me a little bit.."

 

Me: "Ok seriously I am joking 98% of the time about video games. : P They are a small hobby of mine, but there is a million things I would prefer to do other than video game."

 

Her: "LOL. Alright. I'm sorry I'm just an honest person. I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm just saying you're good looking and you are nice and funny : ) and you make me laugh. But I am keeping a bit of a guard up just to be safe. And the one thing that worries me is the video game thing and the fact that you're a bit of a nerd.. : P lol Sorry no offence. There nothing wrong with that."

 

Me: "Haha I know I am. A lot of girls say that after getting to know me. To look at me you don't figure that tho. : P"

 

Me: "I'll just have to prove to u that I don't video game that much"

 

Me: "And I am glad that you are an honest person. That is number one"

 

Me: "Do you mind me asking what your typical type is? From the sounds of it they are insecure jerks in my opinion. : P"

 

Her: "LOL yes. They are usually VERY insecure jerks that are controlling and obsessive."

 

Her: "So. Can I ask what you thought of me? Don't sugar coat it either lol"

 

Me: "You are really cute, funny, easy to talk to, u prob like joking around a little bit more that I'm used to. But I like that. : ) You know exactly what you want in life and are not afraid to get it. I admire that. : ) A little pushy, but in a good way. I just have to push back a bit. : P"

 

Her: "Lol ok. : )"

 

Me: "And btw you didn't hurt my feelings at all! I've heard waaay worse. lol And don't be sorry that you are honest. : )"

 

Her: "...K. Good. I wouldn't want to lead you on either. I'm just not sure I guess and I am sorry. I don't know if I'm ready to start dating. It's just I might need more time either.. I mean I haven't been single for a month yet."

 

(At this point I thought I was toast, finished, and had no chance)

 

Me: "No worries. I am the last person that will pressure you. You have to do what is right for you. If that includes hanging out with me, awesome! If not, I'll be really disappointed, but will understand. : ) I would hope you would like to see me again. But I'll understand if you don't want to."

 

Her: "I'd want to hang out again for sure! : ) I just don't know when just yet. Give me time, I guess to get more comfortable around you"

 

Me: "Awesome! I am really glad you said that. : ) Just let me know when you would like to hang out again. : ) I would assume V. Day is off? No worries. Would you still like to chat every day or just leave you alone for a couple?"

 

Her: "lol. Yea..I don't know about V.Day to be honest. I think I'll just spend it alone. I really don't know if I am ready yet. lol. And yeah I like talking with you so if not tomorrow then Friday. I'll text you or what ever : )"

 

Her: "But I really need to get to bed. I have a long day tomorrow. So I'll talk to you later k? : )"

 

Me: "Sounds great (Her Name)! I am really glad we could talk like this. : ) And for sure I'll talk to you soon! Just please don't give me a wake up text at 5am when you get up. : ) I don't need to get up til 6:30. I NEED my beauty sleep. LMAO! Sweet Dreams!"

 

Her: "Lmao : P I'll text you at 6:30 then : P"

 

Me: "Hehe awesome! I look forward to it! : ) Have a good sleep!"

 

Her: "Goodnight (my name)!"

 

Thursday 6:30am

 

Her: "Rise and shine sunshine! : ) lol I woke up with a migraine so I couldn't work today and I have to go back to bed. So I'll text you once I wake up! Have a good day at work! : )"

 

Me: "Aww thanks (her name)! That sucks that you got a migraine. Hope you feel better soon! Thanks for the text. I needed it. : P Have a good sleep! Talk to you later today! : )"

 

That was the last time I talked to her. She has never responded to anything since. I tried contacting her later on in the afternoon Thursday, and I tried again on Saturday afternoon. Nothing. I've seen her on facebook a couple of times, but she never tried to say anything to me. I am not sure what I did to make her act like this. Before this we had talked every day for about 5 days straight.

 

I don't mind that she needs time. I completely understand that she needs it. I admire her a hell of a lot that she was smart enough to realise that she needed time from her last relationship, and not a rebound. We just got to know each other too soon after she broke up with her ex. I would like to tell her that too btw, and I intend to. I just wish she would be upfront with me that she needed some time from even talking to me. I would understand that.

 

I have talked to a ton of people and it is about 50/50 that I should say happy Valentines day. I don't think I should do it, as I tried to contact her yesterday. So what do you think I should do about this? How often and how many times do I try to talk to her?

 

I my limited experience, when a girl suddenly changes the way she acts towards you it isn't a good thing at all. So I am not keeping my hopes up. Which is unfortunate because it is rare for me to get along with someone so easily.

 

Thanks for reading this long post! I never knew how difficult it would be to find someone that you clicked with, and get them to keep talking. lol

[im rly mad]

That's really odd that she suddenly stopped... sorry to hear man, I don't really know what to suggest, I probably wouldn't say Happy Valentine's Day if she hasn't replied. I would try to stop contacting her and just see if she eventually gets back, if she doesn't then unfortunately you should just try to forget about her.

[sns256]

Yes, everyone I have talked to has said it was really weird. I am not sure what happened.

 

I think I'll try again to talk to her next Wednesday. Leave it at that and move on if she doesn't respond at all.

[im rly mad]

Yes, everyone I have talked to has said it was really weird. I am not sure what happened.

 

I think I'll try again to talk to her next Wednesday. Leave it at that and move on if she doesn't respond at all.

 

Good call... I seriously feel for you, it sucks when things like this happen, especially without an explanation. Glad you're willing to move on, will definitely be the best thing to do. Good luck!

[sns256]

Good call... I seriously feel for you, it sucks when things like this happen, especially without an explanation. Glad you're willing to move on, will definitely be the best thing to do. Good luck!

 

Thanks! I wouldn't mind it at all if she would just tell me something, or anything. Even an f off, leave me alone. lol

 

I try to keep my hopes in check no matter what because I have been burned too many times now. I don't really expect anything to progress out of any date. The girl in question was the first one who had the same different sense of humor as I do, and we had so many things in common. Guess I let my hopes get out of line a bit. :splat:

[annie24]

i don't know. she sounds emotionally all over the place. and i think she's being rude to you. i wouldn't settle for her. i'm sure you are a good guy and you deserve a woman who will be good to you too

[sns256]

i don't know. she sounds emotionally all over the place.

 

True. She never showed that before. But I agree she is a little unsure of herself.

 

i think she's being rude to you.

 

Thats true, and uncharacteristic from what I know of her. Better to learn that now then later, I guess.

 

i wouldn't settle for her. i'm sure you are a good guy and you deserve a woman who will be good to you too

 

The thing was she was being really good to me up to 6:30am Thursday morning. Then BOOM nothing, super cold. I'm just not sure what happened.

 

I won't totally write her off just yet. But I am not going to bank on her at all.

 

Thanks.

[DanDee]

That's the thing though, people often are entirely different when getting to meeting someone new. Nice at first but then turn ugly.

 

I agree with annie - this girl knows you're a decent guy and she ignores you like this. I wouldn't get back to her at all tbh - she knows you're interested, leave the ball in her court now.

[sns256]

That's the thing though, people often are entirely different when getting to meeting someone new. Nice at first but then turn ugly.

 

I agree with annie - this girl knows you're a decent guy and she ignores you like this. I wouldn't get back to her at all tbh - she knows you're interested, leave the ball in her court now.

 

Thanks DanDee! The more people I ask the more all over the map the advice is. The ball is definitely in her court right now. I guess I will wait as long as I can. I think I will still say something in a week or so if she hasn't contacted me.