Is this really how it's going to be?

[poetic_tragedy]

So I've been doing some self-reflecting today. While thinking back on the past few months, I've found that when I am on some sort of substance, I don't cut. I guess that's a new coping method I never realized I used. But it's just as bad, if not worse, as cutting. First, it was pot and usually whenever I had been smoking it, I didn't cut. Now, I'm back on pills. I used to be addicted to pills twice in the past. I'm doing them again. On the bright side, I haven't been cutting (or at least recently). But, just as the cutting did, the pills help me to cope. They make me feel numb. I've noticed these past couple of days that I've been snorting them and taking them even when nothing is wrong. I'm afraid to keep doing them because I don't want it to ruin my life, but then again I'm afraid to get off of them because I know I'll resort back to cutting; and I don't want that either. I guess I'm just rambling, but I needed to get these thoughts out of my head so I could get some sleep. Thanks to anyone who cares enough to read this.

[i.need.help]

hi, how many times have you cut yourself? lately i also think about hurting myself. i dont know why but i never thought about cutting. i think i'm scared of cutting myself. but it's ironic because i have skydived before and i wished my parachute would fail. i also think about jumping off my condo balcony a lot.

 

sigh...

[poetic_tragedy]

I've been cutting for 6 years; since I was 14. The best advice I can give you is: Don't do it! Once you start, it's really hard to stop; especially if you have an addictive personality. Just know that you aren't alone and that there are others out there who feel the same way that you do. Counseling does work for some people, so I would recommend that. It's a safe place to talk to someone about everything that you are going through without being judged. And the counselors truly do care.

[alcide]

Sorry about what you going though , be strong and keep fighting it, sorry i know how this must be feeling, and saying you just trying to sllep is sad , but hold on you will make it through. All the best.xoxox

[No One]

Completely agree: both are bad, drugs are far worse, cutting is, counter-intuitively, addicting. At least with cutting, once you find new coping methods or ways to resolve your problems/stress, then, you may be able to move-on better than with a chemical addition.

 

Best of luck to you!! Prayers to you!!