dude69 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I recently broke up with my ex because she cheated during our relationship and i was miserable with her. The problem (i know it sounds bad) is that im very physically attracted to her. Even after the breakup she tried getting in contact in me and when every meaning of contact failed she started showing up wearing nothing under her coat which lead to some wild sex. Afterwards she would tell me how she misses me and that she still loves me and that she wants to make us work.. The thing is that i still dont trust her and while i was starting to feel better after 2 weeks i am beginning to get very possessive of her again. If i call her and she doesnt pick up the phone i automatically think she is seeing someone else and its driving me insane. I tried telling her this and she says that im the only one she wants and that i shouldnt have to worry. I know i could never be with her but is it wrong/unhealthy to still try to keep her as a friend with benefits? I am currently going through a period of my life where im building my career and this means that i dont have time for a gf for the next year or so. I honestly dont want a GF right now but it would be nice to have someone to casually have intimate encounters with. am i doing this all wrong? At the same time i dont want to lure her into thinking that i will ever take her back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 She wants you back, right? So sorry, but an fwb situation is not going to work out. She at most will stay with you for a few months and if she can't reconcile, she'll go for someone else. You said she is an attractive girl, right? So I'm guessing it won't be too hard for her to find another guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regular joe Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 You answered your own question when you said that "YOU DON"T TRUST HER". If you can deal with being FB than go for it, but you say that you get possessive of her. You have to go all (back to a full relationship) and work at it, especially to rebuild the trust or nothing (go on to something else.) There cannot be any middle ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Even after the breakup she tried getting in contact in me and when every meaning of contact failed she started showing up wearing nothing under her coat She must watch a lot of television....that seduction tactic is pretty much a standard in TV shows, particularly soap operas. I remember seeing that on the night-time soap, Dallas, on several occasions!! I often wondered how a woman could be silly enough to get into a car completely naked except for a coat, drive over to some guy's place and then fling the coat open like a flasher. Really, when you think about it, anything can happen on the way over...car can break down, car accident, something else unavoidable...so what started off as a plan for seduction, may end up resulting in the woman having to walk around for several hours stark naked except for a coat...and have to explain why she won't take the coat off. Your ex sounds pretty lame and silly. She cheated on you and you were miserable with her. Who knows how many other doorsteps she walks to dressed only in a coat...she cheated on you so obviously she doesn't have a problem having sex with more than one person at a time. Do you really want to put your body at risk for STDs? I would steer clear of her...she is nothing special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d24 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 string her along till she gets bored. hey, it sounds harsh, but she's your ex for a reason. why not 'enjoy' her while you can? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I'm amazed on how low a person will stoop just to have sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d24 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I'm amazed on how low a person will stoop just to have sex. at least he isn't buying it! look seriously now... if they're having some physical fun and there's no expectations of anything else, why not? Why can't they just FWB it for a while? When the day comes that she says "look we're either together or not" he can deal with it however he feels is best. maybe by then he'll trust her again? who knows. till then, why not enjoy it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 at least he isn't buying it! look seriously now... if they're having some physical fun and there's no expectations of anything else, why not? Why can't they just FWB it for a while? When the day comes that she says "look we're either together or not" he can deal with it however he feels is best. maybe by then he'll trust her again? who knows. till then, why not enjoy it. To each is own, but I would take the high road and run. Why have meaningless sex with someone who cheated on you and run the risk of getting a "STD", or the risk of a pregnancy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guynextdoor Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 You sure you still want to chow and plow with your ex? If you can accept that you are not the only one doing her and you don't get emotionally involved then go for it, just make sure to saran wrap it. I just think someone's feeling will get hurt from this, especially since you both been in a relationship together in the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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