stupid.

[Tetsuo_Shima]

"Stupid". By me.

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I feel so impatient when you're around, in body or of mind.

A loss of words strikes my lips heavily, and it leaves me blind.

What is it about you that weakens me so?

That paradoxical mind frame I've come to know...

 

I don't hate you but I'm not sure I like you, back and forth

like an ocean, I just can't find an even flow.

 

For years and years we fight and befriend, slowly, but surely,

I thought I'd found a trend. Withdrawn unto my shell to find a place to mend,

After all: you wound me, intrigue me but I feel I must defend.

 

Often you seem so arrogant, but I wonder if it were a front, to hide a weakened self in you,

Do excuse me if I seem too blunt.

 

I only mean to sympathize, my words not meant to chastise, but often mistaken I wish you'd realize,

I'm not what the world sees. Alas it's something I'll take with me to the grave, my ashes you'd cast upon a crimson breeze.

 

You make me feel so worthless, stupid and alone. The face you stare upon me with is solid like a stone.

A pedestal your on, I can't reach you upon that mighty throne. I feel so little in your presence,

insignificant to the very last, you and I both know it's everything to do with what happened in the past.

 

I hate this meager existence, and I cry for something more, but by now I fear my plight to you is just too much a bore. I'll just sit here feeling stupid, pondering the stars, what my place upon them is, and will I ever get far?

 

By now my words may have upset you, as they often do, I guess that's just my way of reacting, because I'm confused by everything you do. I never was good at understanding, such a thing I should be able too, So I'll walk away in silence, pretend to myself I know what I'm saying though I know this not to be true.

Devastating every time, I'm sorry but I just can't seem to hate you.

 

 

I Guess.

That just makes me.

Stupid.