sns256 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 I have been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks and she has thrown a number of red flags up, I think. Enough that I probably wouldn't want a relationship with her. I'll list some off to get your opinion. -She has no hobbies other than dancing at the club. (I questioned her a lot about this, and I believe her) -She relies on her bf for all her entertainment, and activities. -She gets very angry very easily. -She gets very angry when her bf doesn't spend all of his time with her. (She doesn't do anything otherwise) -All of her past bf's have told her she is crazy. (I don't know why she would tell this to me) -Sounds like she goes through bf's very quickly. -She married and divorced in one month last year to a guy in order to get Canadian citizenship -She has a 5 year old kid back in her home country that she hasn't seen for years. She had him when she was 17. She is from another country, and probably told me all that kind of stuff because she didn't know any better. I think it is pretty clear that I shouldn't pursue a long term relationship with her. I just want to know if I should keep seeing her, in your opinion. We get a long great, have fun together, and can talk endlessly. I am sort of on the fence because I am sort of looking for a long term relationship, and I can't see that happening with her. However she is the first girl ever into me and wants to do things with her. She has phoned me to set up dates, and that is a first for me. Most of my friends say I should keep going with her to get some experience under my belt. As I have yet to find a girl to kiss me I am really entertaining the idea. I am pretty sure should would kiss me at least. lol What do you think? Should I keep dating with her to get some experience and try to pursue other relationships? I would make it very clear that we are not exclusive at all. I am not going to be disappointed if I don't find my first real love to have my first kiss, or loose my virginity. Of course it would be ideal, but is it wrong of me to entertain the idea of taking advantage of the first opportunity I have ever had? The only thing that is in the back of my mind is that I am using this poor girl, and I don't want to do that. Thanks for the help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panther_Dude Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Have some fun with her and see where it goes. Or you could do the logical thing and not see her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HouseKitten Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 I think it would be unfair to lead her on thinking the relationship could go somewhere, when you know all along that you just want some experience from her. I can see why the idea is appealing but really, it's not fair to her. Whatever her problems, she's another human being and it's not nice to treat someone like a girlfriend and make them believe you feel the same way about them, when in fact you feel you couldn't have any future with her. It's fine to note that she has some characteristics that put you off and are potentially dealbreakers, but just because she's not an amazing person doesn't make it okay to string her along, and you probably know that anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElChup Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Which country is she from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norsewoman Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Those are a LOT of red flags. I'd bail immediately, if I were you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Since you see all those red flags, what kind of experience are you looking for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JusticeLaw9 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I don't think I really have to answer this question for you. But yes, I think you should avoid anything serious with her. To be honest, it would be to your benefit, greatly, if you didn't mess around with her at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sns256 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Panther_Dude That actually tells me a lot here. I don't really want to see where it goes. My gut definitely says to not see her again. Thanks. HouseKitten I agree with you 100% HouseKitten. My head and gut scream no, but there is a little voice in the back of my head says go for it. Because of the old saying that girls don't like an inexperienced guy, and you can't get much more inexperienced than myself. That being said even if I got my first kiss, or whatever from her it wouldn't be good at all, there would be no emotion what so ever. I would like to think that I am a decent guy and leading a girl on like that would be very out of character for me. I know she deserves a guy that likes her 100% forever, and I know I can't be that guy. I knew everything you said there HouseKitten, I just needed someone to kick my butt a bit. I looked to my friends for that, but I guess they just want to see me have some success. I will one day, but I don't think it should be with this girl. Thanks. ElChup She is from Honduras norsewoman That's what my gut feeling was. The only reason I was considering it was because she is the first (of many in the future to show interest in me. I hope you can see that angle. HeartGoesOn I don't really know what kind of experience I was looking for. Eventually I would like to find someone to cuddle up to, spend time with, maybe make out for once. You know finally find someone to do all that bf/gf stuff. I have never been close to experiencing that yet. I keep reading that women my age don't really like their guy to be inexperienced or not knowing what to do, making 'silly' mistakes. Which is basically 99% of the time I am out with a woman. It is all new to me. A long time ago someone on ENA even told me it would better to get that experience with an escort so that I am not super nervous, and clueless with a girl I really like. I thought maybe this would be the time to get over the nervousness and mistakes. My head tells me it is wrong to use her like that. Yet everyone around me says go for it. I will probably phone her tomorrow and say that it will just not work out between the two of us. It is not really how I want to experience anything for the first time. StrangeMagic9 I don't know which angle you are thinking it would be a great benefit I don't mess around with her at all. But I agree for my own reasons. I just needed someone to finally agree with me. I thought my friends would, but only you guys and my Mom so far have thought the way I did. haha I'll give her a call tomorrow. It's going to be a pretty crappy phone call. =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YakasJourney Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 dude just go for it, but don't invest too much in this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wildchild1 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 The flags are there as a warning, it hardly seems like the way to go about enjoying your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sns256 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 YakasJourney I am curious why some people say just go for it. I realise that it is a good opportunity to get some experience. But it would be at the expense of her as a human being. I want some experience, true. I just don't know if that is the right way to do it. If you could give me some advantages please tell. wildchild1 Thanks. The only reason I was considering it was because it is the only time I have had the opportunity to get any experience yet in my life so far. It is not the way I really wanted to get experience. I just wanted to know some other peoples opinion. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfNski Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Run....then when you are tired of running run some more. This chick is bad news man, there is no amount of hottness to overcome those red flags. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wildchild1 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 wildchild1 Thanks. The only reason I was considering it was because it is the only time I have had the opportunity to get any experience yet in my life so far. It is not the way I really wanted to get experience. I just wanted to know some other peoples opinion. Thanks. This will turn into one of those experiences you look back and wish you never had. Those are not experiences you want to carry with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sns256 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 surfNski LOL Thanks man. I'll keep running I am glad I have this resource for advice. I would be really in the dark learning all of this stuff. Believe it or no I didn't really think much of these flags last week until I slept on it for a couple nights. Oh and I didn't mention, but she is really hot. Hotter than any girl I have ever dated so far. But whatever, it is not the end of the world. There will be more opportunities in the future. wildchild1 OK thanks wildchild1! Most of my friends have regretted their 'firsts' too. So maybe that is why they thought it would be ok to keep going out with her. But I agree it is probably something I won't want to ever have experienced. I'll keep looking for the right girl for me and hope for the best that she doesn't hold my inexperience against me. At least I can say I turned down opportunities becuase they weren't right for me. Thanks again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DatingIsSoHard Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I have been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks and she has thrown a number of red flags up, I think. Enough that I probably wouldn't want a relationship with her. I'll list some off to get your opinion. -She has no hobbies other than dancing at the club. (I questioned her a lot about this, and I believe her) -She relies on her bf for all her entertainment, and activities. -She gets very angry very easily. -She gets very angry when her bf doesn't spend all of his time with her. (She doesn't do anything otherwise) Sounds like a high-maintenance girl. She wants you to be her personal walking ATM machine (which is why she needs you around) so she can fund her nights out etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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