baker53 Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 Ok let me give you some background first. My girlfriend of 3 years and I broke up about 2 months ago because she felt we were more like friends that boyfriend and girlfriend, and because she did not feel that romantic spark anymore. About 1 month ago she pretty much told me that there was no chance for us ever again, and that she was much happier without me. When she told me that I decided I was never going to contact her ever again. Since then I have been getting random text messages, e mails, and phone calls from her about once a week. At first I just completely ignored them but last week I answered the phone. We talked for a while and she was super nice to me. Then that night she called me while she was drunk, said she missed her friend, wanted a hug, and wanted me to come over. When I went over there she told me that I was her best friend, that I was the only one that understands her, and that she misses me. I asked her why now and not a month ago? She replied by saying the feelings were there a month ago, but she did not want them there. She was laying on the couch and wanted a hug so I laid down to hug her. She talked to me more about some other things, then I made my move. I kissed her! She kissed me back but then pulled away and started saying that she doesn't know if this is a good idea and that she doesn't want to lead me on. I told her that I am past that and we continued to "hook up." When we were done she wanted me to stay to hold her. She kept asking me what this meant and that she was confused. She then started asking me questions about other girls that I have been dating and what I have done with them. She then said that she has not been on any dates and that she has only kissed one guy. She says she was asking me all this because she was just curious and because she wanted to see if I am moving on faster than her, which she said I am. We then went to sleep. I woke up early the next morning to leave and before I left I kissed her bye and she kiss me back (she was sober now). Later that day she texted me and apologized for being drunk and texting me but she said that she really does miss her friend (me). We texted back and forth for a while and it seemed to go well and be friendly. I just want to know what does all this mean? Does it mean that she wants me back? Does she still love me? What should I do??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Knows Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 It's a step in the right direction. But I would not consider this the end of "friendship" and the beginning of a relationship. In my opinion, she misses you. All ex' do. She does not have a rebound guy nor does she have any other options out there. So on a lonely night she decides to drink and is feeling a little horny. She knew you would come to her side and give her what she needs and the compliments she needs. You did what any man would have done. I was in your shoes a few months back. Like I said, don't push or rush anything. You are on her mind. Don't mess that up. Don't push to hard but you have to let her know your still there. It's a fine line. The positive was she was not regretful of what happened. Best of luck ... -chRis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 She wants you as a friend - but if she finds a new romantic interest that will probably end. At the same time she wants to keep you on the back-burner and not seeing anyone else in case she can't find anyone else. But if she does, then you will be gone. I know this sounds as if she is a bad person but she is just looking out for herself - which is what you need to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baker53 Posted January 27, 2010 Author Share Posted January 27, 2010 When she was texting me she was actually at a bar with her friends. Then she went back to their place where she continued to text me, till I came over. So she was not completely alone. Over the past few days she has been texting me asking about stuff at school and we have run into each other a couple of times. Each time she was nice to me and I just tried to act normal and be short. I just wonder if what happened made her feelings for me stronger or not? Is this going to open the door to us hanging out more, if so how? Would I be better off by still acting distant and not really talking to her like I have done for the past month. Or should I start calling her some nights and talking to her more? Should I ask her to hang out this weekend? Does this mean that she still cares for me in a romantic way? Does this mean that we may get back together? Sorry I'm just really confused and trying to figure out what this means and what I should do next. So any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newinvention Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Listen to DN on this one - she's just lonely and you're available (I know that sucks). Cut her loose until she KNOWS what she wants and comes to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minou Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 I disagree. She asked you what this means while you were making out. Which means she is as confused as you are and potentially open to having it mean something. She hasn't found anyone else yet and wondered if you had. If you just cut her loose after hooking up it will minimize any chance the 2 of you will be an item again. However, you have to look at why she felt like you were just acting like friends while you were together. Did you take her for granted? Did you go out of your way to treat her in a special way? Or maybe the chemistry isn't really there completely? If I were you, I would ask her, right now, if she thinks there is a chance, including that you'd like to address the problems that led you to break up if given the chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 If she wants you back she needs to grow up and tell you that she does instead of playing silly games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snarfing Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 If she wants you back she needs to grow up and tell you that she does instead of playing silly games. DN, I agree. I am in a similar situation and it would be much much easier for them to just say "I want you back" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoobunnie Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 If everyone was forth-coming, bold, un-passive aggresive, honest, and always knew what they wanted, and unguarded...we'd all wouldn't be on here. Actually, while I'm big on promoting the move-on, or make-a-move actions...I think there is something stirring up with Baker and the girl. She blatantly tells you she's available, asks you to come over, lays down...I'd ask her to get lunch or something light. You'll get a way better idea of what's going on...look out for flirting, reminiscing, body language cues. Then report! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoobunnie Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Also note: she tells you she's happier without you...yet winds up hounding you...actions over words. She sounds young. And she always cares about your opinion of her, hence the apology text. "I did something brazen, but it was something I really wanted. I'm committed to the break-up, so must not come off as wishy-washy, but you are in my thoughts, heck...maybe actually being best friends with your partner is the way to go." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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