Lady Rashomon Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 What do you think of this statement? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wlh22 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 depends on how they are treating you and how much they care about you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jd1983 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Well, you shouldn't settle either. I think a better statement would be the to be with the one you love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HouseKitten Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 I think it's supposed to mean, look at what you've got and realise how much value it has, before you go looking elsewhere. At least, that's how I interpret it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredofvampires Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 I agree -- I'm with Jd. The OP statement is born out of a combination of loneliness and emotional poverty-mindedness. And sometimes, justification for all manners of lousy behavior. For me personally, if I love someone...I'll hold out unless there's no reason on earth to believe holding out makes sense. I'm a hanger-on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredofvampires Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 I think it's supposed to mean, look at what you've got and realise how much value it has, before you go looking elsewhere. At least, that's how I interpret it. Well, if you take it from the song by this same title by Crosby, Stills and Nash, it means more like "just make do with what you've got, what's in front of you, if you can't have what you really want." If you're down and confused And you don't remember who you're talking to Concentration slips away Cause you're baby is so far away CHORUS Well there's a rose in the fisted glove And eagle flies with the dove And if you can't be with the one you love honey Love the one you're with Don't be angry - don't be sad Don't sit crying over good times you've had There's a girl right next to you And she's just waiting for something to do CHORUS Doo doo doo doo Turn your heartache right into joy Cause she's a girl and you're a boy Get it together come on make it nice You ain't gonna need anymore advice CHORUS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Rashomon Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 I agree -- I'm with Jd. The OP statement is born out of a combination of loneliness and emotional poverty-mindedness. And sometimes, justification for all manners of lousy behavior. For me personally, if I love someone...I'll hold out unless there's no reason on earth to believe holding out makes sense. I'm a hanger-on. Yeah, I totally agree but I wanted to check with others as well. I've been getting this a lot from people to whom I've expressed ambivalence about my marriage in the past. Lots of jaded comments from married people such as "Love the one you're with," "Sometimes it's just about finding someone, not the one," "Relationships are hard and the idea of love is a fantasy," "As long as he's good to you and cares about you, I don't see what the problem is." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HouseKitten Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Yeah, I totally agree but I wanted to check with others as well. I've been getting this a lot from people to whom I've expressed ambivalence about my marriage in the past. Lots of jaded comments from married people such as "Love the one you're with," "Sometimes it's just about finding someone, not the one," "Relationships are hard and the idea of love is a fantasy," "As long as he's good to you and cares about you, I don't see what the problem is." Yikes. That's a whole other kettle of fish. There's a difference between making an effort to keep the love in your relationship alive, and settling for less just because you might not do any better! I don't get people who would say those things to someone who's marriage is struggling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Yeah, I totally agree but I wanted to check with others as well. I've been getting this a lot from people to whom I've expressed ambivalence about my marriage in the past. Lots of jaded comments from married people such as "Love the one you're with," "Sometimes it's just about finding someone, not the one," "Relationships are hard and the idea of love is a fantasy," "As long as he's good to you and cares about you, I don't see what the problem is." Yep, that's why I am turning more and more away from this whole notion of marriage..because too many people just settle for someone they are not crazy about just so that they can be married...or they stay married to someone with whom they have nothing in common and the love has died or was never there to begin with, just so that they don't have to be alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 This song was basically promoting cheating. It is about being horny and your partner is far away so you grab "the girl right next to you" and have sex with her "she is waiting for something to do"..."turn your heartache right into joy, cause she's a girl and you're a boy, get it together come on make it nice". Love the one you're with.....that's the whole "make love" thing..it wasn't meant to be about love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 What do you think of this statement? I think there is much wisdom in that quote - I'd just qualify it with "as long as it's healthy for you to do so". It's really a version of "the grass is not greener on the other side" (and I'm a big believer of this). I'm fairly certain there will be times in life where things are just crap. Where everything is going badly or where there is a big issue causing problems between you and your partner. At times like that I'm sure you have to actually work on loving the one you are with (the one you fell in love with). When I got married I was promising to do that because I think its worthwhile. I think it's one of the most worthwhile things I could do. But this doesn't mean staying in a loveless relationship all your life pretending to love the one you are with. Working on things and bringing the love back when times are tough is different to pretending to love the one you are with and "settling". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredofvampires Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 This song was basically promoting cheating. It is about being horny and your partner is far away so you grab "the girl right next to you" and have sex with her "she is waiting for something to do"..."turn your heartache right into joy, cause she's a girl and you're a boy, get it together come on make it nice". Love the one you're with.....that's the whole "make love" thing..it wasn't meant to be about love. Yeah, I know...which is one reason I mentioned in my post that the concept can also turn into an excuse for all kinds of non-upstanding behavior. It's kind of amazing how my girl friends have tried to console me into thinking "men will be men" any time I was invested emotionally in someone who I thought was invested in me, yet he ended up going after someone more convenient. It's just that this song kind of popularized this jaded mindset in a general way, which the OP is talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Yeah, I know...which is one reason I mentioned in my post that the concept can also turn into an excuse for all kinds of non-upstanding behavior. It's kind of amazing how my girl friends have tried to console me into thinking "men will be men" any time I was invested emotionally in someone who I thought was invested in me, yet he ended up going after someone more convenient. It's just that this song kind of popularized this jaded mindset in a general way, which the OP is talking about. That is the reason why many LDRs don't work...because people want the sex and physical touch and convenience of a ready and available Saturday night date more than they want the emotional connection with a person. How many posts on here from people in long distance relationships who have been cheated on or who were left for someone who lived closer to home. That is the whole "love the one you're with" concept as promoted in the song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily100 Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 Well, I think it only makes sense if someone is pining away for someone who is unavailable rather than focusing on the person who is available and of course treats them well. But I would not apply it to a case where lets say my BF is out of town and I am at a party and there another guy sitting next to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WomanWriter Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 I agree. Once you choose someone, you should stick with them and not go looking around for someone else during the bad times. You should appreciate what you have for as long as you have it, as long as you are both working towards something and growing. There will always be issues, but both of you should be committed to working on them and not giving up when things are hard. I used to think arranged marriages were stupid, but I've heard of many cases where they turned to love. Let's face it--we all are not going to marry Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt (or insert hot actor or actress you like here). When we find someone we can love, we ought to go for it. But we should not settle for just anyone. It is a combination. Be willing to get to know different people, but once you pick someone, focus only on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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