Women who ask for what they want in bed--too dominant?

[Lady Rashomon]

Okay, I have a friend who's absolutely non-communicative with her partner about her sexual needs and she's driving me and our other female friends crazy with her complaints (which she has never addressed with her boyfriend). She seems to be of the opinion that men are turned off by women who express certain requests in bed. For instance--she has said to me time and again that she'd like to ask for more oral in bed, but that she is afraid to because she doesn't deep down feel that it's attractive to make such a request and that her partner will reject her or be turned off if she's too demanding. I told her this is ridiculous and that she will most likely not be rejected but rather, seen as more desirable by her bf, but then it started to make me wonder, because I realize that I've probably felt similarly in former relationships (perhaps due to one too many selfish lovers in the past).

 

Guys--are women who demand that their needs be met in bed unattractive to you? If a woman urged you to comply with her desires, would you see her as being overly dominant or would that be even more sexy to you?

[wanderer]

Guys--are women who demand that their needs be met in bed unattractive to you? If a woman urged you to comply with her desires, would you see her as being overly dominant or would that be even more sexy to you?

 

not in the slightest - it would definitely make her more sexy if she was up fron about what she wants. it shows confidence and more importantly, it shows us that you want to be there! i've had too many partners in the past who were bashful about asking for something in bed - and did not even hide it well. that kind of meekness is a turn off.

[regular joe]

 

Guys--are women who demand that their needs be met in bed unattractive to you? If a woman urged you to comply with her desires, would you see her as being overly dominant or would that be even more sexy to you?

 

 

No, we are not mind readers and no two women are the same. I wouldn't use the term demand. That makes it sound like you have your best dominatrix outfit and whip on while making your request. As a matter of fact what worked well even last night may not get it done tonight. Your friend needs to tell her partner what she likes. For example she could just say when he is down there something as simple as "Oh Baby that feels good, don't stop, your going to make me come." or even just a lot of loud moaning. Maybe, she's really quiet in bed and doesn't realize it is really getting her off so he moves on to something else. He'll get the message. If he's not a selfish lover he'll keep going because he'll see she is getting turned on by it. Us guys love to see and hear our partners get pleasure too.

[KG]

Very well put!

[KG]

Very well put!

[oldenoughtoknow]

Very well put, indeed. I've been following the decibel level of moans for my entire adult life. A well placed comment or compliment is always welcome. Even putting your hand on my hand and guiding what you like the most is great. When a woman tells me she wants me to go downtown, yippee! Yes, we do want to make you happy.

 

I've only had one partner who really turned me off with her drill sergeant orders. And I mean she was bad...really bad. Every five seconds she would say harder, then softer, then something else. After a while, I was so annoyed, I wouldn't change anything, and she would tell me to change it back! I think she just got off on giving orders. No thanks. But almost anything short of that is better than fine.