LAYAAN Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 I wanted to write something... then asked myself 'what's the point?' ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 I have officially completed all requirements for my PhD today. Got my thesis printed and submitted it to the University-appointed thesis editor along with 5 other forms. He made sure that he received everything that I was supposed to submit and that I'm officially done with my responsibility to get a degree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mya Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Yay!!! Congratulations!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 congrats Tinu!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marshmlofluff Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Congrats Tinu!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 Thank you mya, Annie, Marsh, Penny, dancing magpie, missIndigo. I appreciate the support you provided me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 no problem!! you should be proud of yourself!! you've come a long way and no one can take this away from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marshmlofluff Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Yeah! No matter what you do from now on and where you go you will always be "Dr." Isn't that a neat feeling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 I have been looking for a postdoc position tirelessly. Everyone who looked at my CV told me that its weak. The market is so competitive right now that people with minimum 3-5 papers are applying for postdoc positions. I heard this already from 3 different professors that I applied to. Something else I noticed (and not that I didn't know this, but every postdoc position operates differently) was that every professor told me that *you* will have to earn part of your salary. You will have to write grants, get funding and conduct your own research. We want someone who is able to be an independent researcher in this particular field. This is clearly different from the kind of postdocs I have seen in my school. But I knew this before as well about postdocs. This is scary. I do not know if I'm going to survive in this competitive market or I'm going to be sent home soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 link removed link removed Yesterday I talked to a senior professor who offered some advice and pep talk. I am trying to stay positive and I'm making an effort to hang in there and not despair and give up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissIndigo Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Do they mean weak in terms of publications? You'll have at least two pubs from your PhD thesis if I remember right? Many people from the department I was in (at an Ivy!) were graduating with only one, taking 6-7 years to get it, and have it end up in a mid-tier journal. The postdoc market is indeed very different from six years ago when I was first looking, and four years ago when I took my most recent position (the one I was laid off from). You could pretty much apply wherever you wanted and get an offer, but now, different story with funding the way it is. Wonder if there is any way you can beef up your CV in other areas, at least in how you "sell" yourself, if you will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 I got my diploma today. It was unexpected how soon, after completing the requirements, I actually got my diploma. The University records people called and told me if I can come today to pick it up. 5 minutes before the office closed, I reached there, got my diploma, looked at it, signed the form that I received the diploma and the transcript. I am relieved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 Do they mean weak in terms of publications? You'll have at least two pubs from your PhD thesis if I remember right? Many people from the department I was in (at an Ivy!) were graduating with only one, taking 6-7 years to get it, and have it end up in a mid-tier journal. The postdoc market is indeed very different from six years ago when I was first looking, and four years ago when I took my most recent position (the one I was laid off from). You could pretty much apply wherever you wanted and get an offer, but now, different story with funding the way it is. Wonder if there is any way you can beef up your CV in other areas, at least in how you "sell" yourself, if you will. Yes, thats what they mean. My CV is weak in terms of publications. What you have mentioned about others in your institutions is not unusual at all. Some UCSD students shared with me that they were expected to graduate (they used the word "pushed out") in 5 years with or without a paper. The truth of the matter is this economy. We all know that there is over supply of PhDs and postdocs. There is a bottleneck where not very many postdocs are able to get out of the system to take up industry or tenure track positions. As a result they are holding onto positions longer than average. Because of my unique project I have not only basic sciences/lab experience, I also have unique experience of working on a clinical research project. I worked closely with subjects, and IRB, I have learned and performed statistical analyses. So that is where I'm at. I'm trying my best. That's all I can say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissIndigo Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Statistical analyses...have you considered epidemiology? It's a growing field here. Or moving into the public health domain? If I don't land one of two positions I'm interviewing for this month, I'm going for an MPH. I'm like "woo yay more school awesome" BUT my closest mentors feel it might be a strong compliment to my PhD. Congrats on receiving your diploma! (I keep mine in an underwear drawer and my cat dented it...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope13 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Congratulations on officially finishing your PhD! About finding a postdoc position: at what institutes are you applying? Just Ivy/in big coastal cities? - That indeed will be very tough, especially with your visa challenges. As said, due to the visa requirements, you need to deliver more than an equivalent American candidate so don't get upset if you see Americans getting jobs with lower qualifications in comparison to you. The trend I am observing, the big research centers (the ones which have reasonably stable funds) are hiring people who excel in one particular field/technique according to the needs of their large scale projects. Knowing a bit of many things is less likely to be attractive for a large center, than excelling in one particular aspect, because they can afford to hire many people each specialized in something different. Smaller institutes however, prefer to hire people with versatile skill sets. They usually can't afford to hire a statistician, a research coordinator, a grant writer, an IRB writer, and a bench scientist. They need to find someone who has a bit of knowledge of everything and can train the necessary skills as the project develops. Additionally, visa procedures are getting more and more complicated and are for ever changing (never to make things easier!), thus a lot of PIs are hesitant to go through the trouble of sponsoring visas i.e. offering positions, if the paperwork is not strong, or if they are not expecting it to be straight forward (we tried to hire someone, but it took more than a year in the visa procedures, so we had to abandon this hire). So maybe you want to look into moving to a different city/state,according to where your skill combination may be an asset Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marshmlofluff Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Tinu--have you thought about work as a regulatory pharmacist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 Yes, I have Marsh. I have completed 2/3 steps to get licensed. I still have last exams remaining. I'm studying for that (and not doing a very good job at that). So, until I pass those exams I can't work as a pharmacist. To take those exams I need to stay in the country. That is the reason why I'm willing to take any job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 link removed It is difficult to stay positive. For some people it comes naturally, for me it doesn't. I have to get certain things done today. I got up. Prayed. Read this article. I'm just going to get out of room and do what I can do to make my life better today. I have been really sad lately about how last 2 dates have not worked out and I'm losing patience in marriage market. I sat myself down after prayers today and told myself that I can't change the outcome of those dates. I have done my best and if the other person isn't feeling it, its best to leave it alone and go about my life. I have to focus on studying for pharmacy exams and looking for work. I have to take steps to make my life better. I can't sit around moping, worrying, getting depressed. It is not healthy. It won't bring me anything good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Last 2 days have been emotionally very hard for me. I wanted to just pack my bags and leave and go back to India... to home where I have people who care for me. I'm tired of instability, unpredictability here. I told myself yesterday I'm going to hang in here until I take the exams. I'll see if I can get a job here. If I can't I might as well just pack up and leave. I went through PhD hating it, hoping that there will be something better at the end. I can't continue going through life this way anymore. I bit the bullet yesterday and put up my profile one more time on link removed. I don't know if its going to reap any benefits this time around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope13 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Do you really have time to worry about your marital status? I thought you have a very tight schedule for your exams, job hunting etc? You also know by experience that every disappointment on the marriage market costs you days in trying to recover emotionally and to find focus for the things on your to-do-list. Did you finish everything that you needed to do yesterday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 Penny, you are right, I don't have time to worry about my marital status, but before I finally pack my bags and leave for home country, I want to give it one last shot. When I was on that site before I was still a student. Now I'm not. It may make a difference, I don't know. We will have to see. Yes, I am studying for pharmacy exams everyday. I'm applying for jobs everyday. I'm continuing to work on my 2nd paper at school, have a collaboration as well. So, I'm doing my best and that's all I can do at this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 16, 2011 Author Share Posted July 16, 2011 Is it appropriate to expect emotional support from a man? Is it reasonable to expect a man to understand your emotions? to take you in his arms when you are having a hard day? and say that he is with you no matter what Is it appropriate to leave a man if I'm not getting this kinda emotional understanding and support from a man? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Who is the man you are talking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 Annie, I've been trying to get to know someone since last 3 months or so. We have had numerous video chats, we talk on phone regularly and we met once over the long weekend recently. Each day we spent about 12 hours together. That's the man I'm talking about. I'm not happy. I'm physically not attracted to him. I'm angry at myself for not being able to find someone better. I feel like I'm running out of time and this is the best I can get and I don't like him. I think that might be one of the reasons I tend to take it out on him at times. We tend to argue a lot. I was telling myself that I will keep my mouth shut about this and make this relationship work. Thats why you all don't know about him. Well, I know for sure that I'm physically not attracted to him. But those that I am attracted to don't want me (or so it seems since things are not moving ahead there either). In the mean time, I made a quick trip to go visit another man (through arranged marriage) to see if this would progress. It didn't (I made a thread about this not too long ago). He isn't sure he can take any decision at this time and wants us to stay friends (I think he is waiting for "yes" from someone better). I don't think I can stay friends and not expect things to change. I also don't sense much emotional support from the 1st guy. His approach towards life is more cut and dry. He has a serious personality. I'm more spontaneous, bubbly, I tend to be child-like. We went somewhere. I was lying on the grass next to him, I felt no connection. I see him more as a friend than a lover. He is repeatedly asking me what do I think of him, what's my impression of him and I don't want to tell him that I'm not attracted to him. uggggghhhh! grrrrrrrr! but I can't keep this hidden for a long time. That day is not far when I'll have to pull the plug. And yes, he wants to have a child. He argued to me about that as well ("You are not ready for marriage, you are not ready for kids. What are you ready for?") I told him yesterday that I need to focus on my exams and I want some distance to be able to study so we shouldn't talk as often. I don't miss talking to him. I don't enjoy talking to him. Mostly we tend to argue. I don't look forward to talking to him. What the heck am I doing with him? I'm clinging on because I'm tired of looking and there is noone better than him at this point. I dont' like this, but thats the truth. I should atleast be honest to myself if not someone else. I am praying everyday for God to shut this door if this is His will. I'm praying that He shows me if I'm the one creating problems in this relationship and where I can change. I sometimes feel (no, actually I'm convinced and I wrote about this in my prayer journal as well) that having God in my life also creates confusion. It shouldn't, but because I don't know how to hear Him, its like adding another variable in an equation. Every time I'm trying to take major decisions of my life, I find myself wondering if God is willing or not. That creates fear in my mind. I don't know if I'm trying to push something that is outside His will. Make me into a robot instead! I'd be much happier. I don't want to take another decision in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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