LAYAAN Posted April 21, 2011 Author Share Posted April 21, 2011 Oh wow... Marsh... I will be thinking about you that day. I hope I get time to post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 21, 2011 Author Share Posted April 21, 2011 Yesterday someone defended and failed his defense. wow... did I really need to hear this today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope13 Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Breath. Block her out of your mind. She is not around to persecute you, it's just coincidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Yesterday someone defended and failed his defense. wow... did I really need to hear this today? I know - when I heard of a guy at my school who didn't pass (the only one I ever heard of!!!) I totally panicked. but i used that 'panic' to get organized and prepared. know what i mean? use that as motivation to do well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 21, 2011 Author Share Posted April 21, 2011 Yes, I need to stay focused, get organized, do my best. I should not let any other circumstance or person get the best of me. This is my opportunity to get out. I need to use it to the best of my ability and simply graduate. I pushed myself today at work, got stuff done. Jogged 3.27 miles even when I wasn't feeling like it. I need to exercise everyday to keep myself out of depression, lethargy and stay focused. Breathe and get the work done. Don't lose focus now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 23, 2011 Author Share Posted April 23, 2011 Finished cooking, dishes, and laundry. I'm so proud of myself! I'm going to focus only on writing for the rest of the day and tomorrow. No other worries. No other distractions. I have food to eat and clean clothes to wear. Awesome! When my weekly chores are done before the start of Monday, I feel so empowered and ready! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 26, 2011 Author Share Posted April 26, 2011 I'm wrapping up my dissertation tomorrow. I have to. I will be sending it to the committee. Sure, there will be corrections, but thats the worry for later. A much much senior professor (his work experience is more than my biological age) wrote a beautiful message to me a few days ago. "You have come so far. Keep faith in yourself. Always remember, dissertation research is our own baby and we know about it way more than others will ever do. Go with confidence, be polite, be patient, listen carefully to the Qs and process them before you answer. If a Q is not clear to you, ask again. Don't assume. When someone throws an unusual question at you, many times they are interested in finding out how you handle questions under pressure and also if you can apply the established facts, join the dots, and anticipate possible mechanism or effect. Practice breathing exercises, if you can, before you stand there. Graduate school process has a way of making us feel little, worthless at times, but remember that you are not a student anymore (well, in conservative sense... technically, we all are students for life as learning never stops and graduating is just a milestone, but you get what I mean). Stand tall, shoulders back, chin up. You deserve every credit and accolades for your hard work and the circumstances you worked under. You are a different person now than what you were when you entered grad school. Be proud of it all your life." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mya Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 What a wonderful message from your professor! It is so true. Sometimes this process has a way of making us feel worthless. You should be proud of yourself and keep going. You have gone a long way and there is a small, but important bit, to finish off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 i agree that was a nice message from the prof. i hope you take it to heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 I'm going. Absolutely!... link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 Hanging on... pressing on.... Nice break is to watch everything about royal wedding thats in the news on every single TV station these days. Honestly its losing its charm now. Its like watching some stupid reality TV show. But hey... I'm waking up in the middle of the night to watch Kate's wedding gown and tiara and then will go back to bed. Why did it take almost 10 yrs for prince Charles to marry Camilla after divorce from his 1st marriage? It wasn't like they didn't know each other until his divorce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 i think they waited 10 years out of respect for diana and because it took people a long time to 'forget' diana and 'forgive' camilla (which they really haven't, either). public opinion made a huge impact on their decision not to marry for a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 29, 2011 Author Share Posted April 29, 2011 yes, marriages in that royal family are a mess, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 29, 2011 Author Share Posted April 29, 2011 Anxiety and stress are getting the best of me now. - Some unfortunate incidents took place. As a result, there has been a great delay in my getting reimbursement for the conference trip and my credit card payments are due. I can't mention in words how eagerly I'm waiting to get paid. I hate how I'm basically going from paycheck-to-paycheck now and have no extra money in between the pay periods. - I was trying to collaborate with some professors on campus. They laxed until now and are putting pressure on me to get things done in time. This clashes with so many of my deadlines at school. I tried to keep quiet for a while, but today I emailed them and said that I will do my best but I can't promise that the work will be done by the deadline they have given me. I have a ton of formalities to complete for my degree completion. Those deadlines are already set in place. I must meet them if I want to graduate in certain time. Why do these people behave this way? Who caused the delay? Why is everyone putting pressure on me now? Arrrrrgh! Its hard for me to stay professional at school. I normally maintain a certain calm, confident, professional demeanor at work. I don't show my anger and frustration, but this is really getting to me. 2 business days were literally lost in running around and getting things organized for this collaborative project. The professors don't know bureaucratic/administrative details. Secretaries of the departments won't touch the stuff b'coz they want to play it safe. Finance department speaks an entirely foreign language that I dont' understand. Basically I got a run around for last 2 days. I'm caught in the middle with time ticking. The day was exhausting. I would go home, eat something, back to lab, praying to God to give me words to put on paper so I finish the damn discussion/conclusion chapter for dissertation. I fell asleep twice. Then there was writer's block. Nothing would come to my mind. I slept from 8-10 pm tonight. Before I run out of gas I sincerely hope and pray that I get this thing finished. The girl from the lab next door has been coughing and sneezing all day yesterday. I can't say a word. I'm taking my multivitamins and just praying that all the stress, lack of sleep and proper food, and this girl sneezing right next door doesn't get me sick right near my defense time. I see her every single day at lab. I see her every single day at home. The living conditions in the dorm are not the best. We all have to adjust with each other from time to time. On top of it, I end up running into this girl every now and then. I have learned a lesson for life. Dont' get too close to people at work. Be friendly, but don't be friends. If the friendship falls apart, you still have to see them everyday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope13 Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 Tinu, I know you are stressed, but you have to remain in control and calm. Don't feel like a victim, but stay proactive: yes, some professors don't have good time managements skills, but in the end, it's actually your job to make sure that everyone follows your time schedule. Sometimes that means emailing them on a daily basis to remind someone that you need some input from them. These people have also a lot of things on their plate and many things to juggle, they will rely on you being the driving force behind making sure that your deadlines are met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocio Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 I like to see Camilla at royal engagements. I think it's romantic that Charles fell in love with a less than attractive woman (thus proving that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder). The Charles and Camilla story is a messy one but now that the dust has settled, that couple stands proud and in love. I think it's the ultimate story of romance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 30, 2011 Author Share Posted April 30, 2011 What are your suggestions on arranging food for people attending defense? Time is from 8-10 am. Many people (including committee) have already complained that its too early. I want this to be reasonably healthy and simple. I want the food to be ready-to-eat, nothing that has to be hot (no coffee/tea), nothing that would make noise (chips, cereal), or drop all over and make a mess (no big fruit juice containers that require pouring into a cup) I'm thinking - small 100% orange and apple juice bottles (so people don't crowd up and spill liquids) - bottled water (few) - assorted bagels, cream cheese, jelly, peanut butter - Tray of sliced fruit (cantaloupe, honeydew, watermelon) - yogurt - plate of crackers and cheese paper plates, napkins, forks, spoons, knives. I'm not interested in wasting time with all this. I'm thinking of giving money to a friend and have her buy everything and arrange the table so I don't have to worry about it at all. I'm thinking of giving her the entire responsibility of buying food, setting up the table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope13 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 I have absolutely know idea what is appropriate in respect to food for a defense in the USA/CA. However, since it is that early, you might be forced to offer coffee and tea; I saw at conferences that you can get big boxes of coffee, I assume from starbucks or such, so you wouldn't have the burden of brewing it or keeping it warm. With these kind of questions I would always go to people who went through it before me, or ask the department's secretary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted April 30, 2011 Author Share Posted April 30, 2011 Right... yes. I think I'm going to ask my senior what he did. I should have asked him yesterday when we talked, but I didn't think about it. So, next time we talk I'll ask him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 it's different everywhere. My advisor (a woman) recommends to have something, but not to get elaborate so as to not seem too much like a 'homemaker' - especially for female scientists. so she told me just coffee is fine. i personally like to bring some food, however. so i just made a very very simple cake (faster for me than going to the grocery store). My defense was in the afternoon though. Don't go overboard. Bring coffee, some sugar/milk/creamer/cups. And maybe a basket of bagels and cream cheese. Or get some bananas and muffins. that's it. don't do a full spread. most profs are concerned about coffee, first and foremost. the upshot is if they get hungry, they'll maybe finish up the meeting faster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 or how about coffee/bananas/energy bars? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 ps - in my department, we only provide food for the committee meeting after, not for the members of the audience. i do think it's best to have someone else worry about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted May 1, 2011 Author Share Posted May 1, 2011 Thanks Annie. Sorry, but I don't know much about coffee. I don't have a coffeemaker. Everyone has a different brand of coffee that they like and milk (what percent), creamer etc. I didn't want to deal with that. Can you please explain what you mean by get coffee? What do I ask for at a coffee shop? simply black coffee or something different? The defense is in a small classroom. I don't know if arranging for a hot coffee there would be too much. I was thinking about energy bars, but I haven't seen anyone do that yet, so I'm not sure if that looks appropriate. I agree on keeping it simple though. We have a tradition that the student brings food/snacks for audience and if he passes the defense, he takes his committee out for lunch/dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Well, like penelope said, either go to starbucks or whatever other coffee company, they usually have a fresh brewed "to go" container with 12 cups of coffee in it. that's convient. or if you have someone in the department who has a coffee maker, you can ask if they will brew you a cup of coffee and bring it to the meeting. then just bring cups, some sugar packers, and maybe 1 small bottle of milk (2%). and some stir sticks. we have a cafeteria downstairs, and i just swiped the sugar packets and stir sticks from there. if energy bars aren't always done, then maybe just get a bunch of bananas and a dozen muffins from the store and call it over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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