LAYAAN Posted March 10, 2011 Author Share Posted March 10, 2011 These are hibiscus flowers from my parents' backyard. My cousin took a picture of it because there are different colored flowers on the same branch. I told my mom it might be because cross pollination may have occurred between the yellow hibiscus shrub next to the red hibiscus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 link removed The pain of my singlehood is going to end one way or the other. Either I would get married (and hopefully be happy or if sad, it would be another pain, but it wont be the pain of being single) or I will come to accept my singlehood and then there is no more pain. So, no matter what, this is gonna end. So, this is moving. It will be over. Hang tight. There is no reason to snap @ men for their asking me some Qs that I dont want to be asked. People wont' behave with me the way I want them to. That wont happen, ever. You can't control others. You can only control yourself. So work on that. Leave the rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 So, there is a good news from my side. I had my orals scheduled today. Our oral is the proposal defense. I passed it successfully and have moved on to candidacy. The committee agreed today that I can graduate by May end. They told me that I can take the defense date in 1st week of May. So, now its going to be a race to meet the deadline for thesis submission. I have to submit a copy of my thesis to my committee by mid April. They have also asked me to submit the 2nd paper no later than mid April. Hanging on, pushing on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 The fun part is - Today I did my make up differently. Cleaned my face, put on moisturizer, then tinted moisturizer by Hard Candy cosmetics, mineral foundation by Maybelline, slight tough of rice powder by Palladio. I was amazed to see how light and fresh it looked. Normally my make up ends up looking cakey and thick. I hate that so much! But today... I was pleasantly surprised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope13 Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 4 more weeks - you can do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marshmlofluff Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Go Tinu!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mya Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Yay! You can do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 Thank you ladies. I can't believe my committee talked about 'graduation'. Its almost unbelievable. I am hanging on. I told myself today that I just have to push myself and get through now while they all are in agreement. I can't wait to feel like working hard. I can't wait to feel motivated. I'm drinking tea and going at nights to get stuff done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 I have been doing some networking as I get opportunities, attending career seminars, etc. Well, most people I talked to are surprised to know that I don't have a facebook account. One of my mentors told me that I could look him up on facebook and I said "oh, I dont have a facebook account." He was so surprised. I dont know if I really should sign up for a facebook account. I'm not interested at all. I am not interested in keeping tabs on anyone, looking at anyone's update, relationship, kids photos, vacation photos. I dont care at all to show my photos, or updates to anyone either. What purpose will facebook serve me then? But then I come accross as the odd person out that I'm not on facebook/myspace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pkittie Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Tinu, most people stay connected on FB. If you don't care to share pics or status updates or anything at all with your close network then it's pretty much your choice...It can be quite addictive not to mention time consuming as well. At this stage you can probably skip it altogether. Most folks like to stay in touch & share jokes, songs etc with their peeps. Sometimes I see very inspirational posts as well so I'm hooked. But don't succumb to the pressure...It totally depends on you IF you want to be in consistent touch with your famly, friends etc. I know lot of people who abhor social networking sites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orchidrose Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Facebook has actually been a good networking tool for me. I am Facebook friends with some undergrad professors and former internship supervisors and coworkers. Many of them still send me job listings and other opportunities when they're available. It's a much more informal way to keep in touch, which makes it easier to keep in touch, if that makes sense. When one of my professors disappeared after agreeing to write a grad school letter of recommendation for me, I messaged one of my former professors on Facebook and was able to get a letter from her quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 Facebook has actually been a good networking tool for me. I am Facebook friends with some undergrad professors and former internship supervisors and coworkers. Many of them still send me job listings and other opportunities when they're available. It's a much more informal way to keep in touch, which makes it easier to keep in touch, if that makes sense. When one of my professors disappeared after agreeing to write a grad school letter of recommendation for me, I messaged one of my former professors on Facebook and was able to get a letter from her quickly. wow... thats good. seems like you are getting the best out of FB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 have you tried linkedin? that is more of a professional networking site. or academia.edu? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orchidrose Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 LinkedIn is great, too, and definitely geared more toward professional contacts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 LinkedIn is great, too, and definitely geared more toward professional contacts. Agree- it's been great for me in that way too. I also use FB that way but prefer linkedin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 This is such a crunch time. I was hoping that I wouldn’t hve to mention it in my journal but yes the stress is getting to me now. it really is. I’m trying to juggle these duties concurrently – 1) working on 2nd paper. My boss is after me for that. Yesterday, he made it very clear in a firm voice tht he wants me to work on it and submit that ASAP. 2) Dissertation writing. I was trying to gather information on numerous tiny formatting details (hate the university policy about this) when he came in. don’t know if he was already in bad mood or something but the conversation didn’t go well. He was unhappy to see me work on my thesis. He wants me to work on my paper. Thesis is not his business. It took everything in me to swallow it and keep quiet and continue working. 3) Scheduled pharmacy boards and have been trying to study in the evenings. Like an idiot I have scheduled my boards in this crunch time. By the time I go home I’m crashing into bed due to sheer mental exhaustion. Tried a few days to drink tea and stay up and study… nothing goes into my head. I know I’m going to fail. 4) Looking for job opportunity simultaneously, attending networking events, career fairs, conferences, seminars, applying for jobs, updating and changing CV for every single job… seems such a huge task! My senior friend called yesterday and it was such a relief to talk to him. I told him all the activities I’m doing. He said “I don’t care what you lose, but for now you need to focus only on 2 activities: 1) pushing your 2nd paper to a point where your boss says “submit it” and 2) finish writing up your dissertation and submitting it to these people in right time. Do you understand how difficult it is to finish up these 2 tasks in such short time? You don’t understand what a golden opportunity this is for you to graduate and put an end to this miserable life phase. You have to understand that if you don’t graduate now… you probably will not until next year. You have communicated your urgency to your committee, they agreed and now you are distracted by other stuff. Your boss doesn’t have money to keep you, he has no funding, you have fulfilled requirements towards graduation, your committee wants you to graduate… Get out. Write up your work and graduate girl. I’m afraid if you stay any longer, your boss may come up with rules to keep you here and make you work on some other stuff. If you fail to meet the deadline for graduation he will use that to his advantage… I hope you see that.” Stress is getting the best of me now. I literally dragged myself out of bed today. Before heading out the door wrote in my prayer journal “God give me strength to get things done for today. Help me keep my mouth shut and keep my eyes on the goal.” Why do I feel like I’m losing it? My boss came in again today and asked me where I’m in terms of my paper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 i agree with your friend tinu. i think it's a bit too much to try to find a job and study for the pharmacy boards when in reality, you have waaaay too much to do in the next 4 weeks. don't spread yourself too thin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penelope13 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I also absolutely agree with your friend: focus, focus, focus. You shouldn't even have time to get upset with your boss. I think it's actually good that he reminds you everyday that you need to work on your paper. That should prevent you from procrastinating any further. As said before, it's not his job to give you emotional support. It's his job to make sure you finish. Cancel the pharmacy boards/postpone them if you can, you will not be able to do both the pharmacy boards and the writing. Don't wait to feel motivated or energized. Just do it. Don't focus on your emotions, your tiredness, just look at your task list for the day when you get up and just do it. No grumbling about why you have to do so many things, just do one thing after the other on your daily list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 Thank you ladies. Penny, I agree. I understand. I'm telling myself everyday that I can't wait to feel motivated. I just have to suck it up and do it. In terms of pharmacy exams I can't postpone them anymore since I'm approaching the end of my approval period. I called the national board today and they said I can take it, if I pass thats great, if I fail, there is a wait period of 3 months and I can take it again. 3 attempts are allowed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 I'm having a hard time with my boss. I know if Penny reads it she will say "I told you its not his job to be nice to you." Is it wrong to expect professionalism? There were multiple occasions when he has raised his voice at me. He still does. He calls me on my home phone... even on weekends. I absolutely don't like it. I told myself that I unfortunately have set a pattern that I can't change now. I have to suck it up and do my best to graduate. On the other hand, I must mention some good qualities of my boss. He has not yet thrown me under the bus in front of my committee/in front of the whole class when I was presenting. Whenever I did the work, he has given me due credit. It is by mercy of God that he didn't oppose my graduation this time my committee met. He is good at writing. I've learned a lot and I must say that he has been patient with my lack of writing skills. Its not easy to interact with him, but it never was. Something that my PhD journey has taught me is this and I hope to apply these rules no matter where I go - 1) Do not allow your employer the liberty to call you at home during your off time. Set the rule from day 1. 2) Don't go in on weekends to work. I made that mistake in my previous job as well. Yes, people call you hard-worker etc. but they do take your advantage. There is other staff as well. They relax on weekends and get to retain their job. So, I will too. My personality is that I will go the extra mile. Not anymore. I really don't care for promotion, I don't care for raise. I honestly want a 9-5 job and come home and leave work at workplace. I hope I get to practice this in my next job. 3) Be friendly with people from work, but don't be friends with them outside work. I have been burned by close friendship in grad school. 4) Do not share any personal stuff at work. You never know how people may twist that information and use it to harm you. 5) Never pass any comment on a co-worker's habits, personal life, etc. Never give unasked advice. Always remember "As long as their decisions don't affect your life, you don't care about what they do with their life." 6) Be vigilant in your duties, be good at your work, keep paper work up-to-date. Keep an email trail of responses. 7) Observe people from a distance before deciding to be friends with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pkittie Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 Nice article..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 I'm venting. I'm hanging in there. I've moved back into my old office and now I have to see every single day the girl from the lab next door. Its so difficult. If she gets stressed, she will play loud music. Hate it. hate it so much. I sat down today and had to resist the temptation to go talk to her and tell her how her actions have made me feel and what a hypocrite (I think) she is. I have gone wrong in judging her. I thought of her as a friend. She took me as only as an emotional punching bag. Because I considered her my friend, I went above & beyond my limits to help her. And I was disappointed. Everytime she would fight/argue with me (which was many times) she would go to our common friend and vent about it. The other friend would bring up the topic and take this girl's side. What a drama that was! Last June or so I stopped talking to this girl. I blew up on her. I'm not proud of it. I reacted poorly. I should have maintained my calm. I regret blowing up on her. I regret it because it gave her another reason to complain about me to our common friend and the message was lost. I'm not sorry for saying what I said to her. I meant it. I am sorry for raising my voice though. My life is much more peaceful now. After I noticed an attitude problem with the other girl, I slowly withdrew myself and have stopped talking to her. This girl and I are done. Why was all this drama necessary? I wish I had observed her carefully before I deciding to become friends with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Wear headphones or earplugs when you are at work typing. How is the progress coming along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 I'm typing away, working on my thesis. Honestly, the only productive times are early in morning and later in evening when there are no people around. Its very difficult to focus and not just that I keep getting interrupted with other school-related stuff during business hours. Hate it. It takes time away from work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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