Thoughts, ramblings

[orchidrose]

tinu, I struggle with the health & beauty stuff as well. For me it's hair products. I straightened my naturally curly hair for all of high school and most of college, so now that I'm wearing it curly and it's kind of my "signature," I spend a lot on trying to make it look perfect. I really just talk myself down when I'm at a health & beauty shop. What's really helped is the fact that my bathroom cabinet is now full, so I've run out of places to put stuff!

[LAYAAN]

haha, I hear you orchidrose! Seriously, I don't know what it is. I feel like washing my hair with new shampoo each time or I get bored and don't feel like washing my hair at all. Have you heard this excuse before? I have a full bottle of hairspray, but I want to try new hairspray each time and going to store is adding fuel to the fire. That is how bad my shopping addiction is. I have naturally wavy hair too. I straighten it only about once or twice per quarter because heat damages my hair visibly. Putting heat protectant isn't helping much. I talked myself out of purchasing another straightening iron.

The other day I went and enquired about Japanese straightening. I talked myself out of it because of the cost factor. For me its shampoo, conditioner, soaps, mascara, eyeliner. I can't get enough of it. I constantly am buying new stuff, getting bored with old stuff. You know how big shampoo bottles here are, they are mostly one size. The smaller ones are travel sizes and not always available in every brand, every type. So, if I get bored, I just forget that ever bought anything. So, it stays in my drawer forever and gets pushed back further. I've developed wasteful attitude after I came here. I had same problem with toothpaste and deodarant. I'm doing good on those 2 items now. I have only 1 tube out and unless I finish it off, I'm not even buying the next one. Not buying really helps.

[annie24]

tinu, if you have had any beauty products for a long time, you should throw them away. 3 months for mascara, 1 year for lipsticks, maybe 6 months for foundations, 1-2 years for eyeshadows. they can grow bacteria and other microbes in there. if anything has changed in texture or smell, you need to throw it away.

[LAYAAN]

Oh yes, I've heard that. I recently did throw many products away. Felt bad that I had to toss them away without having fully used 'em. That's why I'm telling myself that I won't be buying new products until I finish what I have.

[Pkittie]

I had no idea of how much you are spending on beauty products. I thought if it's less than $20/month, it's all right. To bo honest, I myself did the same thing for years on end. Now I have calmed down quite a bit. I spend like anything on body washes, lotions etc...I'm watching myself now. I think it also has to do with being single...we need something to make ourselves happy. Avon lipsticks are more like $2-3 on sale so I recommended them to you. Buying a cute top or purse or shoes does cheer us up...weird isn't it?? BTW lipsticks, eyeshadows easily last for 2-3 yrs so don't toss them away yet. I used to sell Avon so studied a lot about cosmetics.

[LAYAAN]

Yes, girl, I can easily spend at least $20/month on cosmetics, if I control myself. If I don't, I can go spinning down. But that apart, I would definitely look into Avon lipsticks. I didn't know they were so affordable. Yes, it has something to do with singlehood. I know some of my single friends do that too. But others are very particular. I guess almost all single girls have their weak areas: eating out, cosmetics, clothes, shoes, handbags...I'm weak all areas except handbags. Oh well, I save in that area and make up in other areas.

 

I think a man's life is so much easy. They don't have to worry about make up, body lotions, body washes. They can save a TON on these items.

[LAYAAN]

I haven't been feeling physically well since almost a week. Took a tylenol last night and slept almost 10 hours. Body ache is back again. Trying to study. Stay positive... hang on... its going to be okay.

[Pkittie]

Tinu, you are making good progress..pat yourself on the back and keep going....This will be a memory of the past.

[LAYAAN]

Thank you Poochie for your support. Yes, I'm hanging in there, celebrating small accomplishments, trying to push forward.

[LAYAAN]

I haven't written anything in my journal since last few days.

My mom has decided to come here to meet me and to talk to me. She has booked her ticket.

Nothing else. I'm doing okay. My 1st sweater is given for seaming. I'm knitting 2nd sweater. I have finished back and now 1/2 way done with the front. Sleeves are remaining still.

Everything else is going okay.

I will post a picture of my 1st sweater if I get to see it once it gets seamed. (They normally send it to the organization right away, but I will try.)

[LAYAAN]

I have not been able to exercise regularly. As a result, I've gained a lot of weight. I need to lose it. I must lose it. The added weight is putting pressure on my knees, further delaying the recovery.

I come to school in the day time, go home in the evening and instead of taking a brisk walk, I take a nap for 40 minutes so I can study with fresh mind. I've also been eating lots of carbs. Not paying attention to my diet at all. Not cooking at all. This is not good.

Tomorrow I'm going back to my personal trainer. This needs to stop. I weighed myself today 147 lb. Never in my life I have weighed this much. I was 110 lb when I first came to this country. Now because of physical inactivity, my weight is increasing. I need to reduce this body fat. Stop stress eating.

[sherryberrypie]

^

I'm with ya. Pants are not fitting. So sad It's tough being a working student with a weird schedule, but we can do it!!

[LAYAAN]

Yes, that's right. I'm going to try my best to walk everyday for an hour. Lets see how that works for a week.

[sherryberrypie]

How did you do today? I left the car at home and shunned fashion sense for sneakers. Walked to campus and back- about 30 mins uphill each way.

[LAYAAN]

Sherry, you did good. 30 min each way is an hour of exercise. Thats good. Uphill is harder, so that's even better. Keep it up. I maintain a separate exercise journal. I sometimes write here about my exercise too. The key is to start low and stay consistent. If 60 min of walking followed by stretching/yoga/weights is too time consuming, then go 30 min everyday, the key is regularity that many people including myself don't have. I told myself "Do you like brushing your teeth everyday? But you do it anyways because of health reasons. Exercise is just like that." Considering that I'm above 30 now, I can't take my body for granted. Women start losin bone mass as early as 30, so exercise and nutrition are must. I'm also doing meditation to learn to deal with stress.

 

I did good yesterday. I went for an hour of brisk walking. Then did upper arm exercises with weights for about 40 minutes.

I'm going for a walk today also. What are you doing today? You can write an exercise journal here too if you would like.

[LAYAAN]

Yesterday was not easy. My car is acting up again. I've to probably travel by bus to go pick up my car and see what's going on with it.

The only difference was I was calm yesterday. I didn't get stressed with my car. I tried to remain as calm as I could. I'm thankful for that. I'm proud of myself for that.

Also, a small incidence happened yesterday morning where I live. I locked myself out of the room, so I went to the reception to ask for a spare key. There was a new rude girl at the reception. I used to work at the reception for a while. I know most girls there. I tried to stay calm and avoided argument. Didn't have time and didn't feel like arguing with anyone in morning hours and spoil rest of my day.

 

I try to keep myself for the most part. I definitely don't mess with others. I'm also developing a new attitude with my friends and colleagues. If your decisions don't influence my life, I'm not going to give you any advice on your behavior, no matter how close of a friend you are. Its tough. I used to think that this kinda behavior is selfish as a friend, but it works perfectly.

I'm observing some simple rules -

1) Mind your business.

2) Conserve your physical, emotional, and intellectual energy at all times.

3) Please please don't argue to prove your point unless you are in a professional meeting and have to defend yourself.

4) Ask yourself "Is it necessary to react to this?"

5) Pray and think before you choose to speak.

6) Choose words carefully at all times.

 

My mom is coming here. She is going around advertising that and asking thousands of Qs to people. I didn't say a word. She doesn't want to fly economy. I didn't say a word. She wants to stay only 2 weeks. She wants to "talk" to me that she can't talk on phone. What should I say?

I only said "You know what is best for you. You know what you can't handle. You know how much cost you are willing to pay. I really don't have anything to say. I think you should come now. Its been on your mind for a long time." I avoided asking her anything else. Don't know if my attitude is right or not. I just am tired of proving to others that I really mean well when I say something, but words can be misunderstood.

[LAYAAN]

Something happened this morning.

I'm expected to talk to a boy's relative instead of talking to him directly. This relative is in India. He is going to decide if I'm good enough to be passed on to the boy or not. I only said "Okay." In arranged market, your logic doesn't fly if you are a woman. I can't suggest any other approach. That is considered being rude.

Another man, divorced... I asked a simple Q "What are your expectations? What are you looking for?"

"I can't answer this Q. I prefer to talk and get to know a person instead."

"Sure, I can understand that approach, but you must have some internal desires about how your partner should be. Some basic standards that you will evaluate a person against, right? I just wanted to know the basic expectations. Nothing more, but if you are not comfortable, that's okay."

 

Marriage really is overrated. Considering how women kill their self-respect, desires, dreams and choose to surrender to the arranged marriage system, its counter-intuitive how these marriages stay alive even on paper. I'm not looking forward to talking to any of these people. I just want this to be over. Why can't things just flow with someone? Why do you have to kill yourself to be with someone? Why do you need to talk to their relatives? Why can't a man/woman speak on their own to the prospective partner? Why do you need someone else to do your dirty work for you?

Why do I have a brain? why do I have a sense of what is right and wrong? just a pretty body and a vagina is sufficient to survive in this world.

[annie24]

sounds like you are gaining a healthy perspective on everything.

[LAYAAN]

Thanks Annie. Definitely trying to practice it and do my best. I still struggle with arranged market rules, but I'm trying to stay calm.

[annie24]

put the arranged market in the back of your head and just focus on your thesis, mmmkay??

[LAYAAN]

Sure, the reason why I mentioned arranged marriage is because I need to develop a healthy perspective towards that process also. I have not succeeded in doing that so far.

[LAYAAN]

This was sent to my mom by her friend. I hope I learn something from this and practice it.

 

This is something we should all read at least once a week! Make sure you read to the end...

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

 

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.(Very true)

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

[anu1560]

I really like these 45 little truths of life. Easier said than done. Hard to practice but doable. But I like it. So I am copying it. Hopefully Tinu I am not breaking the copyrights.

[anu1560]

Marshes journal vanished. looks like lot happened here in eNA too.

[LAYAAN]

I looked for her journal but couldn't find it. I didn't pursue the matter. I hope she is doing okay.