Double J Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 At one point, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate 3-4 times a week. But that was way back when: 1. She worked only part-time. 2. She took a different kind of birth control (had to abandon that brand because of her high blood pressure) 3. She didn't take any other type of medication (she now takes medication for high blood pressure and her thyroid) If I'm lucky, we might do it once or twice a week now. Some shouldn't even count as love-making sessions, simply because on a few occasions I requested that she give me a helping hand and it led to quickies. They left a lot to be desired since my g/f wasn't really in the mood and just went along with it to please me. My girlfriend is always falling asleep at 9 pm, and I find myself looking at more porn that ever before. Our relationship is perfect in every department except this one. We've been together for almost 5 years and see each other every day, so there's no doubt we've gotten "comfortable" with each other. I hate to have to broach the subject while I'm with her because it makes me think it'll somehow repel her even more. I don't know if putting more pressure is the best way to go about it, or if I should just stand back and act non-chalant about the whole thing. I remember this from a psych class: The more you push people to do something, the less likely they are to meet your request. Do you guys find that your girlfriends/wives are more inclined to make love when you show greater indifference toward sex? Does being too nice to your g/f have an adverse effect on her sex drive somehow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightbulbSun Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I think at this point, I'd like to have ANY sex in a relationship. Or any relationship, for that matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeckyllNHyde Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Well I've been on both sides. I've only been with my bf 2 yrs though but hoped that the sex wouldnt diminish TOO much over time. I feel it has though but eh.. I can live with it. In the beginning it was hard on me b/c I just didn't know what to do. Who wants to be rejected right? Due to some issues (family) and other stress his sex drive went down. I didn't push but I did try kissing passionately the way he liked and there'd be times he'd get in the mood, others he'd stop things. In my opinion, what helps get a woman in the mood is some romancing. Not just b/c you want sex though, b/c it's alwayssss pretty obvious or it gets obvious over time. Trust me. It's a good idea to bring it up once and try and see if your gf wants to talk about it, or what may be preventing her from wanting it more. (1-2 times a week doesn't seem bad to me though. Me and my bf only have it once a week but we both don't really care if sex isn't #1 priority as long as we do it. Then from that point just don't push too much beyond being sweet, loving and romantic (going out on dates once a month minimum, holding hands, kissing, being loving, etc). Sometimes it's not YOU though. Over time it can just become harder to get in the mood all the time as often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostdog Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I was married and if we had it 1-2 times a month i was lucky. my last relationship- we got together right when i was laid off early this year.. old girl was coming to my house as soon as she got off work to rock my world and then we'd see each other on weekends. then it slacked up a bit. then it was once a week. then she dumped me. I KNEW better that when it slacked up a bit- I shoulda walked... but the sex was so damned fine and such that I was loving even us having it once a week. I think perhaps I miss the sex with her more than the relationship itself...it was hot to say the least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I have not seen a successful long term approach for a male or female requesting more sex in the relationship. I think that you have to look at your gf's sex drive and have realistic expectations. The solutions that you will typically hear will only help you in the mean time. This is why I have said that I have not seen any long term solutions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I want more sex, but 2000 miles is a little glitch in that desire. Even when together I'm the randy one, but I respect my guy's energy level and desires. I think you need to do a little research into what is really happening in your girlfriend's body. If she has thyroid issues then its no wonder she is having energy issues, the thyroid can be a major player in your overall energy level. If she is always tired, her medication could be incorrect, it could be an issues that her doctor and she can work out. Blood pressure can also play a part in sexual arousal, if her medication is lowering her blood pressure, she may not be getting the same stimulation from blood engorging sensitive areas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostdog Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I have not seen a successful long term approach for a male or female requesting more sex in the relationship. I think that you have to look at your gf's sex drive and have realistic expectations. The solutions that you will typically hear will only help you in the mean time. This is why I have said that I have not seen any long term solutions. I believe there is no successful approach. I believe these issues need to be discovered during dating and if there are any major difference- the relationship needs to be ended... the rest of your life with one person with a differing sexual appetite is a life of torture...unless you cheat... and then ur labelled all the names in the book... Of course- I prefer to have sex daily...some sort of sexual experience in my relationships... At worse 2-3 times per week for the rest of my life...I do not get that when I'm single...however when I'm in a relationship...that's HIGH on my list. My ex wife pulled the wool over my head and I was determined never to accept a woman holding out on me again...that she could if she wanted...but I'd get mine regardless... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Whenever I was in a realtionship I would get whinged at for being extremely hungry afterwards. And because i don't put on weight easily....them watching me eat two pies to myself without gaining a pound made them feel bad causing silent resentment towards me. Instead of gaining fat I was gaining muscle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartBrokn Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Supernova, try being married for 10 years, you will know what celibacy is all about lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Supernova, try being married for 10 years, you will know what celibacy is all about lol Yo poor *******..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I would kill for more sex.....or any sex for that matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartBrokn Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 well self-sex is always a great way to.... ahhh who am I kidding I would too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d24 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 i'm engaged and it's down to once or twice a month... they say it only gets worse *sighs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenshinkitten Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I've been with my bf for 4 years now and when we first started dating we were in High School, so naturally we had sex ALL the time. But then he went away to college, I stayed here and went to school. When we saw each other we would rip each other's close off. Then he moved back here and the sex kinda died a bit. We'll have spurts of like crazy amounts of sex but yeah I think it's just a natural thing for it to kinda die off... I hate it. I literally want nothing more than to have sex with him everyday or at least every other day, but his is the sex drive that has gone down. Not mine. I feel your pain dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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