Friends, Dated, now Friends again....help!

[FlipAngel84]

Hey guys, I need your help. I'm 18, a college student in Minnesota. So here's my story:

There is this guy, Andy, that I've been friends with for about a year and a half. We were really close friends, by far the closest guy friend I have had. However, we didn't date because we both went back and forth between having significant others. Well, December 2002, we both were single, and the feelings started to grow. By mid January we decided to officially date. Things were going great, until one day he said he doesn't want a relationship right now because of school and baseball season. He also said he's not sure if he wants to or can be there for me in the way that I need him to be (I suffer from depression and anxiety). I was pretty hurt and we fought back and forth for a few days. He says he wouldn't rule out dating in the future, but if I argue like I did those couple days, or push him in any way to date....I will only drive him away. Since we were such good friends before, and both still care for each other, we're going back to being friends. I really like this guy!!

My question is...how can I be friends with him, and at the same time get him to re-spark his feelings for me? I want to be his friend but also let him know what a great person I am and how good we would be together

[Gilgamesh]

If you are friends, you will always be friends! remember how it was before you decided to make it oficial? thats what you need to do, if it hurts to much, to be friends right now, because you want more, youll need to keep space between you, I bet there were periods of time that went without talking to him in the past, you need to be that same person as before.

 

The reason why he put you on hold, it could be exactly as he said, He probably really loves you and likes you, but is afraid that all his chores may interfere with a beautiful thing, and he doesnt want to ruin your future together.

 

Please dont pressure him, give him his space, if it hurts you too much, stop talking to him for awhile, until you can talk to him without the pain of wanting to have him as a boyfriend right now.

 

I have friends that I havent talked to in months, some in years, and you know what?, they still are my friends, get it?

 

Your best chances of getting him back is if you give him his space, and just be the same person he has always known, (before the dating), tell him your sorry for pressuring him and for the little arguments, tell him that you'l be a good friend and be there for him if he needs to talk.

[Slim Shady1607306451]

I've always been a firm believer that if a guy and a girl are friends, they should stay friends. BUT, if you really wanna give a relationship another try, then do exactly this. Stand by him. Talk to him frequently, infact become BEST FRIENDS. Get close, really, really, close. To the point where you can tell each other anything, and start to develop emotional feeling for each other. I can't guarantee to you that this will work, but show him how much you care and how cute you can be, and do it for a while. However, if after a long time nothing seems to be coming around, then you are in the "friends zone", and once you're there, you're there for life. It's the risk your taking.

[osewa77]

And as for the depression and anxiety, try to go for some therapy. He obviously feels the extra strain caused by these things; I would not blame him. Since he's your best guy let the therapist do what your bf can't do. Best of luck!