baker53 Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I keep reading here on how NC is the best way to get over your ex and that it can make you ex want to come back to you. The thing is, that I really really want to get back together with my ex. I'm afraid that if I go NC she will not contact me either. We already went a week with NC but it got broken earlier this week when we had class together. While we were dating and even when we broke up in the past we never went that long without speaking. Our meetings in class went well and things seemed like nothing changed but she did say a few things to me that hurt. But I don't know if she is just trying to get a reaction out of me our not. How do I know? The last time we got back together there was a day that she told me "We are over forever and I never want to talk to you again," but a few weeks later we were hanging out again. Once we got back together she told me that she wanted and was ready to get over me and move on, but I didn't let her because I kept in LC. Does this mean I should use this again to remain in the picture or not. She still has some of her stuff and some furniture at my apartment, and she has some of my clothes. There have been times when should could have come and gotten her stuff from my place because she has key, but she has not. Does this mean anything? We were together for a little over 3 years and when we broke up she said that I was her best friend and she wanted to remain friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmajam Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I think NC is best until getting her back is no longer your main goal. You will feel better, you will gain your confidence back, what happened will hurt less and less. All of those things happen when you are in no contact. If you stay in contact it will happen, but much slower. So I suggest it at least until you get to that mindset. As a by product it MAY make her want you back. She MAY miss you or your new confident attitude may attract her back. I don't agree with long term no contact. Some people are counting past a year no contact which I think is ridiculous. There should be a point where you either get back together or you just don't care anymore. If we don't get back together and my ex contacts me a year from now of course I'd talk to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spondence Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 As much as I miss my ex I think I'd need a year or so to be able to speak with her again. A few months is not enough, but I guess it depends on the sitch... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baker53 Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 I think NC is best until getting her back is no longer your main goal. You will feel better, you will gain your confidence back, what happened will hurt less and less. All of those things happen when you are in no contact. If you stay in contact it will happen, but much slower. So I suggest it at least until you get to that mindset. As a by product it MAY make her want you back. She MAY miss you or your new confident attitude may attract her back. I don't agree with long term no contact. Some people are counting past a year no contact which I think is ridiculous. There should be a point where you either get back together or you just don't care anymore. If we don't get back together and my ex contacts me a year from now of course I'd talk to her. The thing is I want her back ASAP. I'm afraid that she is going to go NC with me as well and it will pretty much be a game of chicken, to see who breaks it first. She can be very stubborn and may hold out for a long time. I just feel like if I want a chance I need to hang out with her because when we do things are almost like they were before we broke up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Jax Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 NC is a way to heal YOU, not get your ex back. You cannot do anything to "make" someone want to come back to you. I know its harsh, but its true. People do not realize that when they break up, someone leaves you because they do not want to be with you. If they want to be with you, they will come back. Nothing you say do or do not do is going to encourage them to change their minds. NC is for you. It is a tool to help you deal with the pain. Do not do it because you think it may bring back an ex. You will end up being disappointed if they do not. I have always used it as a means to help me get over them. Everyone hopes their ex will come back, but it is not within our power to do so. We cannot change people and what they think or decide to do. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I started NC with the goal in mind to get my ex back. But it eventually turned into getting my ex back would be a byproduct of NC. I guess I finally had to admit to myself that he wasn't coming back, even though I still hope he will. The hope is what keeps getting him back with NC alive. I know it's stupid and Lord knows I don't want to hear it myself, but... if it was meant to be, she'll come back. She'll contact you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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