Theblueman123 Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 So this new girl I've been talking to is a pretty chill person. She's cool and knows whats up most of the time, and isn't psycho or crazy (not yet anyway). So I've been spending a lot of time with her (like the whole day for a date) lately, and I really enjoy her company but she just doesn't turn me on. I've been seeing her for about 2 weeks, and we get along fairly well but there isn't a spark there, and I don't feel chemistry (like with my ex). She's also inexperienced so when we kissed it was awkward since she didn't know what was going on. She's a virgin and is really innocent so I love that but it's bad sometimes too. So I guess in conclusion she's pretty live except for the fact that she isn't as hot as I would want her to be. I like her but I don't want her if you know what I mean. Now I'm stuck because I'm also talking to other really good looking girls, but I dont want to be with them b/c they're slvtty. I'm not sure what to do, should I stay with this girl even though she isnt really pretty, but has a great personality; or should I date one of the hot girls who I've been talking to, but who have crappy personalities. I'm super confused right now so any legit advice would be great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangetemple Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Well if you choose the hot girls, in 30 years their hot looks will have faded and you will be left with their crappy personalities. Maybe even 10 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndigoEye Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Whatever your criteria, wait for what does it for you. Otherwise, you'll be unhappy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangetemple Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 If thats you in the photo then im guessing what OTHER people think and your image has a fair bearing on what girls you choose to go out with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
on0s1111 Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Depends on what you are after. If you are seeking a LTR, the not so good looking girl's looks will definitely grow on you if the personality and connection is there. However, you are pretty young so if you decide you would rather just chase some hot tail there isn't anything wrong with that as long as you are honest about it. Either way they will more than likely end up as great learning experiences Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
on0s1111 Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 If thats you in the photo then im guessing what OTHER people think and your image has a fair bearing on what girls you choose to go out with. The man in the photo doesn't look 17 to me! : P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cminor7th Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 If you are 17, I say rack up the points and XP, and go for the gusto.... If there isn't any attraction, no need to keep it going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamevan Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 You are attracted or not. A girl doesn't have to be the sexiest thing to walk the earth to be attracted. From how you made it sound you think she's awesome. Does it have to become sexual or become a relationship for you to enjoy being around her? It just sounds like you may like her too much to just have her be a lay. If you were just looking for a piece, you're probably going to lose her friendship if you take her virginity and drop her. Great people are rare. If you are just looking to basically love them and leave them, you'd be better off to do that with girls that have a lousy personality. To me, you have to put this girl in the friendzone unless somehow you can find yourself attracted to her. Otherwise, you'll lose this cool aquaintance for only a notch on your bedpost. Notches can be found fairly easily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastytoothpaste Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 If you're not attracted, you're not attracted. Cut her loose. And do it quickly, because she's gonna get more heartbroken the longer you wait. My guess is that she's fallen really hard for you, since she hasn't had a lot of experience. So just be honest (not that she's not hot lol but that there's no chemistry) and let her go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theblueman123 Posted November 8, 2009 Author Share Posted November 8, 2009 Okay thanks for all the info guys! Really great stuff here. I'll probably end up telling her that we can't work out, because I would rather not end up getting physical and getting her attached and then moving on from her in a few months. Thanks again for all of the advice, I'm really taking what was said into consideration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panther_Dude Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 The man in the photo doesn't look 17 to me! : P I don't really think that's him in the pic. Just some guy with a nice hair and body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UserLain Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Glad to hear that. Best not to hurt her, or worse, take her virginity. She seems like a sweet girl. I stayed with a sweet girl for a long time, but there was a physical attraction to her that was just missing. If it's missing for you, take it from me, it will always be missing. Spare her the hurt, and you complication. There's nothing worse than being stuck in a situation where you feel torn, and on top of that someone you care about being hurt thru it all because of it. Please do forget about this, for her sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shikashika Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 If you're not attracted to her, don't force yourself to be. it doesn't sound like you like her that much. if a guy i was dating was saying he didn't like my face, I'd be out. Why force yourself to date someone who you don't find attractive? I'd find it so patronising if someone was debating dating me but found me unattractive. And, you say you have no chemistry. Seriously, move on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangetemple Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Have fun with teh hot chicks with no personality. That poor girl, i feeel really sorry for her. Boring hot chick wins out over awesome plain chick Not fair. But then maybe you are just shallow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shikashika Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Have fun with teh hot chicks with no personality. That poor girl, i feeel really sorry for her. Boring hot chick wins out over awesome plain chick Not fair. But then maybe you are just shallow. Did I miss where he said the hot chicks have no personality? hot chicks can have a great, warm personality and average looking people can be boring and mean. works both way. If he's not attracted to her it doesn't mean she is unattractive, just unattractive to him. edit... ok read that in the first post. to the OP, what about looking for a hot girl who ALSO has a great personality! ; ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Did I miss where he said the hot chicks have no personality? hot chicks can have a great, warm personality and average looking people can be boring and mean. works both way. If he's not attracted to her it doesn't mean she is unattractive, just unattractive to him. He said the one girl he really does find attractive has a bad personality. It was further down in the first post. I agree with everything you've said, btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UserLain Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Please guys, I understand your perspective, when i saw the thread title i was like * * * ? But physical attraction is very important, it just is. You can't just press a button and stop wanting what you want. If you know how to do that, tell me. If you don't i don't think it's fair to slam someone's character because of feelings and desires they can't control. If we could change them I would have stayed with my ex and been happy, but I couldn't. I was always wanting more. That doesn't mean pretty girl with no personality, it means the whole package. Everyone has their own definition of "whole package" that they're looking for. Don't feel sorry for her, well, do I guess. But she'll find someone, someone who finds her to be all that he wants and thats exactly the guy that she should get and that will make her happy. At least he's doing the right thing and isn't going to string her along and hurt her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theblueman123 Posted November 8, 2009 Author Share Posted November 8, 2009 Thanks a lot man, you're saying exactly what I need to hear. I think that at this point I'm trying to fill a void (my ex), and I'm trying to replace her instead of find someone new. I found myspace comparing how she was vs. my ex the entire time, so I think that was a major red flag. We are all searching for someone who will best fit us, and sometimes we find people that fit only 60-70% somtimes. While they aren't bad people, they aren't for us. Thank you very much for your perspective, and I think in this situation I need to look at the big picture and ask myself will I regret this decision? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jettison Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Soooo... Is that you in the avatar or not? If not, who is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panther_Dude Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 I've been wondering that too for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sadly Mistaken Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 lol me too!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzykat Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 lol me too!!! ...and he won't tell us !?! hmmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ter93 Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Well if you choose the hot girls, in 30 years their hot looks will have faded and you will be left with their crappy personalities. Maybe even 10 years. I agree Orangetemple. Hot girls have a tendency to be extremely fickle and talk about you behind your back. A face is only a little thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelina Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Well in his first post he said "or should I date one of the hot girls who I've been talking to, but who have crappy personalities." He's not attracted to any of these hot chick's personality. By the way people, that's def. not him on the picture. If it was he would have said it was him a while ago. Come on who wouldn't want to take credit for a pic like that. Did I miss where he said the hot chicks have no personality? hot chicks can have a great, warm personality and average looking people can be boring and mean. works both way. If he's not attracted to her it doesn't mean she is unattractive, just unattractive to him. edit... ok read that in the first post. to the OP, what about looking for a hot girl who ALSO has a great personality! ; ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1MoreChance Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 ya he said they have crappy personalities AND are "". seriously, things are not so black and white. If you really like this girl, then get to know her. You can be attracted to a person (and sexually so) without them meeting some extreme criteria for external physical appearance. Chemistry and attraction are so much more than "looks". If there is no chemistry, it doesn't have so much to do with how her face looks, than with the fact that there is no chemistry. then move on. But don't make this about "plain looking girl with not-so-nice-looking face but with awesome perosnality" VS "hot slvtty enticing chicks with crappy personalities". If looks are so immensly important to you (and hence the avatar), then find someone that meets your criteria (of great, sexy look, whatever that means to you) AND that has a good personality AND that you have a great chemistry with. I'm sure that that person is out there. Don't "settle" for this girl with a face you don't like just because she's nice. Not fair to you and NOT fair to her. you sound like you do like that girl and that you are concrned about her feelings. take a step back and analyse the situation before you end up needlessly hurting her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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