is what he said a dead giveaway he is just after sex or am i overanalysing?

[seren]

I really worry if im naive....

 

ok so there is this guy i met at a party over month ago and we got along so well n kissed and since then we have hung out a fair bit....anyways we were talkin online today and this is how part of the convo went:

 

him: so will you come visit me at my new place when i move in?

me: maybe...it depends...what will you lure/tempt me with?

HIm: my * * * * ?

Me: oooooo

him: sorry, too much?

me: ummm, just outta nowhere haha

him: sorry

me: its ok

me" your just being open n honest ( i had since assumed he is just wanting sex cos of this comment)

him: nah, ild lure you with bad jokes and good conversation'

me: its ok, its all good (i got the impression he felt bad for the comment)

him: cool

 

so my question is:

 

if a guy who you have been intimate with and getting to know even more said this to you in this context etc would you assume he was just after sex?

[YakasJourney]

So the fact that he is interested in sex, means he "just" wants sex?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

him: so will you come visit me at my new place when i move in?

me: maybe...it depends...what will you lure/tempt me with?

 

Your comment "what will youlure/tempt me with" opened the door to the possibility of him responding the way he did. It doesn't necessarily mean he is just after sex...he could have just been playing along with the banter and teasing. It is clear he felt bad that you took it seriously. I don't think he meant it in a bad or disrespectful way.

[karvala]

I think his comment was a bit clumsy, or maybe too risky for that early in the conversation, but I agree with the others, it wasn't meant with disrespect and certainly wasn't an indication that he was only interested in sex in any way. If men are condemned for admitting attraction or playing those sort of verbal games these days, then I'm in a lot of trouble as I do with some people on occasions too (though not quite as crudely as him, so I would claim!), and I'm certainly never after just sex with anyone 8). I want breakfast too! j/k!

[Ariel85]

I agree with Crazy on this one.

 

Man, it makes me NUTS when women play this game.

 

You led him on with an obviously suggestive remark, he replies how he thinks you want him to, and now you are whacking him for only being interested in sex.

 

Tsk.

 

No wonder men get fed up with us. lol

[1MoreChance]

"him: so will you come visit me at my new place when i move in?

me: maybe...it depends...what will you lure/tempt me with?

HIm: my * * * * ?

Me: oooooo "

 

--------------------------

 

It sounds like you were being very flirtatious and suggestive, by asking "what will you tempt/lure me with". he played along I guess. when you say you've been intimate, do you mean you had sex yet (I'm confused)?

 

If you don't want the guy to misinterpret and make moves to get you in bed, then don't lure him with teasy questions like that! Don't take it the wrong way, been there/done that, got confused too, but I have sometimes had to look at my OWN behavior (done out of insecurity, atention-seeking, need to be accepeted, and yes,.. also out of lust). Just trying to help.

 

Know what YOU want. If you want something that lasts, and that you can build on, then be true to that. establish a friendship basis, and work from there. let the desire between you grow and blossom as you get to know each other. When there is enough trust and readiness, you will get closer sexually. But be careful cause the way he responded sounds like he'd be more than willing to jump in the sack with you just for kicks and usually that doesn't work long term (JMHO).

[1MoreChance]

I agree with Crazy on this one.

 

Man, it makes me NUTS when women play this game.

 

You led him on with an obviously suggestive remark, he replies how he thinks you want him to, and now you are whacking him for only being interested in sex.

 

Tsk.

 

No wonder men get fed up with us. lol

 

haha true. that's funny. and so true.

[sorrowtea]

i agree that you made a suggestive comment and he tried to play along...maybe he was a little blunt but it does not mean that sex is all he wants.

 

Me and a girl I like play this way in our conversations sometimes because it is fun and I can tell you that I do not just like her for sex.

[catfeeder]

Yeah, it was a pretty clumsy comeback. If you hadn't baited him I'd write him off, but I'd just be cautious instead.

 

You can invite him out on a date, or see if he asks you for one. If he tries to skip that to just go straight to his place, then there's your real answer.

 

In your corner.