whitetiger7654 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 I'll try to keep this short, but it is a complicated situation. I have been dating a girl for a long time now. At one point we were discussing marriage and I know she still wants that. But I am not so sure anymore. She cnstantly has an attitude and acts like I have done something wrong. This is also not just my imagination since I asked my family and our roommate and they both confirmed she goes off on me for no reason sometimes. During one of our last arguments I told her I wanted to break up with her but neither of us really followed thru and we still live together and share a bed. Now the complicated part. I think I'm falling for one of our roommates. This past weekend I went out of town for school for 3 days, during this time I met 2 new girls and became friends with them and enjoyed spending time with them. Also I did not have any feelings of missing my girlfriend, I almost felt happy to be away. But I did feel some feelings of not seeing the roommate. Plus I felt happy once I saw her on the return and sad to see the girlfriend. What the heck should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russ978 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Break up with her if you don't want to be her. Are you a coward? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitetiger7654 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Break up with her if you don't want to be her. Are you a coward? Definently nit a coward. I just hope I'm not going to do something I regret later. This is the only real girlfriend I've ever had and the only person I've ever been with physically. I hope I'm not confusing love for lust with the roommate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DontGetStung Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Doesn't sound like you are confusing the two. Sounds like your relationship w/ your g/f has run its course. I say go for your roommate if you think you really like her. Either way you should probably end it with your g/f. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Taylor Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 i agree you sound pretty sure with yourself. mabey you need to have a chat with her. a real heart to heart this room mate girl of yours, go out sometimes just as friend weather its just round town or something. it may help make things clearer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinka Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Just because you break up with your girlfriend, don't assume you have to get with the roommate because you're sorta interested. If you break up, give yourself time to heal, adjust, etc. If you still have feelings for your roommate later, then pursue it. Right now, it sounds like you're not "lusting" after her...but you are probably projecting an "ideal" onto her. Feeling better that your girlfriend is not around is a surefire signal: you want to break up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitetiger7654 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Thanks to everyone for the help. Any ideas on how to tell the roommate without making it awkward in the house (preferably from females)? I have the feeling I'm now going to be sleeping on the couch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Thanks to everyone for the help. Any ideas on how to tell the roommate without making it awkward in the house (preferably from females)? I have the feeling I'm now going to be sleeping on the couch. Wow, that's jumping the gun. You're not even finished with your GF yet, so now is not the time to pursue the roommate. You'll come off as a slimeball trapeze artist who thinks he can swing from one woman to the next--as if 'next' is stupid. She could be insulted by that. Your current relationship doesn't sound inspiring based on its own merits, so I'd deal with that first. After the break is completely final and GF moves out, you can start reading vibes from roommate. In your corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitetiger7654 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Wow, that's jumping the gun. You're not even finished with your GF yet, so now is not the time to pursue the roommate. You'll come off as a slimeball trapeze artist who thinks he can swing from one woman to the next--as if 'next' is stupid. She could be insulted by that. Your current relationship doesn't sound inspiring based on its own merits, so I'd deal with that first. After the break is completely final and GF moves out, you can start reading vibes from roommate. In your corner. Ok maybe that came out wrong. I don't want to run and tell the roomie that I want to date her. Thanks for pointing that out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 I think you should really prepare yourself to be alone for a while. I doubt you are super in love with the roommate; she's more of a distraction. It's pretty clear you don't want your gf anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitetiger7654 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Thanks again. I've decided not to say anything to the roomie for now. At least until I figure out what I want. I told the g/f tonight. That was hard, I am sad but at the same time relieved I don't know how to say it without sounding like an a-hole. I guess I was right I just fell out of love. I do appreciate you all helping me, I have no one else to talk to about this besides the parties involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Well good for you. That must have been really hard. How did she take it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vdub Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I too have been down that road. I would say what your feeling towards the roommate is nothing more than lust. I was in the same position not too long ago. I had feelings of lust towards a coworker and I weighed my options and chose to be with my gf. Although you and your gf have had your issues, it seems you both love and care enough about each other to be together for a long time. I wouldn't give up just yet...you don't want to do something you may regret later. My gf and I have been together for about 7 yrs now, and it was the best decision I've made. Our relationship has gotten stronger and I feel if you do the same, it will work out for you too. Hope this helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitetiger7654 Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 Well good for you. That must have been really hard. How did she take it? She was devastated of course, and now I feel like a complete douche. She did agree though that we have been on a rough road as of the past year or so. She said she would give me some time alone. Hopefully, that will help me clear my head. I'm so confused right now I can barely think straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 She was devastated of course, and now I feel like a complete douche. She did agree though that we have been on a rough road as of the past year or so. She said she would give me some time alone. Hopefully, that will help me clear my head. I'm so confused right now I can barely think straight. Confusion is to be expected, and it takes a while to ride out the shock and let yourself balance out. That's why we're suggesting that you leave roommate alone for a while, and let time and distance work things out for you. You don't need to grasp anything right now, and you don't need to know where you stand and where you're going. Just follow the course you've put into motion, and let it lead you to your next steps as you're ready to understand them. In your corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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