Blue Lady Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 A friend of mine asked me a very difficult question... "IS IT WRONG TO HAVE A FLING WITH A MARRIED MAN?" Well, it happens to her at the moment, the man whom she has crushed with is a married man! The man likes her too but he's afraid to move because he just wants a short relationship. His wife lives in different country & I guess he's lonely now... My friend said that she doesn't mind to have a short relationship with him because basically she's afraid to have any commitment relatonship as well. But the problem now is... Is it wrong to have a fling with a married man even it's just for short term one?... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lone Dragon Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 The better question to asked is, how would she feel if her "Husband" is having a fling with another woman. I would say that it would be Morally and ethically wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 My answer: yes. It is wrong to have a fling with a married man, even if it's only a short one (even if it's for one night). Plain and simply, I don't think people should do things they wouldn't like done to them. I would never have an affair with a married man, because I would be devastated if my husband cheated on me. Obviously if this married man wants to cheat, there's something wrong with his marriage, and more than likely he'll end up cheating on his wife with someone anyway. But would you want to be that woman he cheats with? I wouldn't. This is a pretty subjective issue and everyone has their own values. That's just mine. What do other people think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiger_lilies Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Of course getting together with a married man is WRONG!!!!! Plain and simple. Doesn't matter whether it's short fling or not. You friend is about to cause his wife great pain. I hope that you talk her out of this because it is morally wrong. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveNaive Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 I think it is harsh to say "IT IS WRONG" as sort of an absolutarian negation that something like that can and does happen all the time. Moral in the end is something which is not absolute. Is something immoral just because a majority does consider it that way? I would rather say it is at least partially a matter of personal attitude. So if your friend can live with it, why shouldn't she? If they both want it?! In the end she has to live with her conscience, whether it's bad or not is another question. Whether it should be bad? That is what she has to decide for herself. Of course there is something to it which says "you just don't do this". But in the end it's the two of them who have to live with it. Oh, yeah, I am not saying I would. To me married people are OFF LIMITS. He, who has never committed an immoral deed, shall throw the first stone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kipster Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 The better question to asked is, how would she feel if her "Husband" is having a fling with another woman. I would say that it would be Morally and ethically wrong. Exactly. I absolutely despise this crap. Anyone and everyone knows this is playing with kerosine, and yet people still do it. Then they wonder when the wife comes to tighten them up, why this is happening. Its one thing to not know (despite visible signs like a ring, car seat, etc.), but its another thing to do it anyways. And the Husband is no better. To say this is morally and ethically wrong is an understatement. Just think if there are kids involved as well? What do you tell them? C'mon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael36 Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Is it wrong to have a fling with a married man even it's just for short term one?... Assuming the man in question is not in the process of getting divorced, I would say, yes, it's wrong. However, I consider it more wrong for a married man to have a fling, because he took a vow of faithfulness, whereas the woman he's having a fling with did not. Same goes for married women (yes, even for those who didn't "plan" it!) Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kipster Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Is it wrong to have a fling with a married man even it's just for short term one?... Assuming the man in question is not in the process of getting divorced, I would say, yes, it's wrong. However, I consider it more wrong for a married man to have a fling, because he took a vow of faithfulness, whereas the woman he's having a fling with did not. Same goes for married women (yes, even for those who didn't "plan" it!) Michael But what's the difference here, because he took a vow that makes it more incorrect? We're arguing about semantics then. The new Woman/Man that didn't take a vow STILL KNOWS that he has! So how is that any less morally wrong. It's like a child who engages in delinquent acts and is assisted in doing them by an adult who CONTRIBUTES to the delinquency of that minor. Is the adult who contributed to it, but perhaps didn't commit the act him/herself any less guilty? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulyDee Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Ok, against everyone elses opinion, I disagree. I think the word "wrong" is inappropraite. Let's say the married person is separated, or otherwise detached from his wife. There are many many reasons men seek "love" elsewhere. DO NOT make a cure for lonliness seem so bad. Life is too short to be physically abandoned by a spouse. Humans need 3 things to live, water, food and shelter. 4 to live happily. affection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kipster Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Ok, against everyone elses opinion, I disagree. I think the word "wrong" is inappropraite. Let's say the married person is separated, or otherwise detached from his wife. There are many many reasons men seek "love" elsewhere. DO NOT make a cure for lonliness seem so bad. Life is too short to be physically abandoned by a spouse. Humans need 3 things to live, water, food and shelter. 4 to live happily. affection. Of course you are free to disagree, that's what were here for But anyways, I've found that those who disagree with it being 'wrong' tend to be those who haven't been on the other side of the coin (i.e., those who don't/haven't had the misfortune of a significant other who's trying to play then). Also, affection is not a need to live happily, IMHO. Its a want, but not a need. Moreover if the only form of affection that I'm getting is from a woman I'm about to marry, cheating on me, then I think I'll fall back just nicely on the initial three you mentined above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuhl282000 Posted May 5, 2004 Share Posted May 5, 2004 Hello Ask yourself would you like to be married to someone like this ? I sure would not want to be part of it. It is not worth it. Kuhl 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcal67 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 its okay if nobody finds out about it. Maybe they should experiment a little, and see if it feels good. Sometimes you can learn some interesting things about yourself, and find out if your love is still stong after the afair is over. I recommend drinking heavily so they can just blame it all on the booze (I'm sorry I was drunk at the time). Plus who knows maybe their inhibitions will be lowered so far they will invent some new sexual positions and write a book and make a fortune. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kipster Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 its okay if nobody finds out about it. Maybe they should experiment a little, and see if it feels good. Sometimes you can learn some interesting things about yourself, and find out if your love is still stong after the afair is over. I recommend drinking heavily so they can just blame it all on the booze (I'm sorry I was drunk at the time). Plus who knows maybe their inhibitions will be lowered so far they will invent some new sexual positions and write a book and make a fortune. Are you serious dcal? Let me get this straight...Its O.K., to go out, have an affair, assess its impact, especially if NO ONE FINDS OUT? You can't be serious.....I'll take this as a tongue-in-cheek response at best... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmala Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 It is wrong to take a marriage vow and then turn around and have a sexual fling because of a physical want not being taken care of in the marriage. Has he told his wife what he is contemplating? IF so and she agrees fine what goes on between two married adults is between two married adults. I doubt the wife knows a thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceanEyes Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 Would you want your husband cheating on you? Obviously there are problems in the marriage, but who are YOU to move in there and aggravate them? I wouldn't want to be the home-wrecker. I am not going to say whether it's wrong or right. What I will say is that consciously messing around with some other woman's husband is desperate, tacky and makes you look like a total bimbo who can't find a single guy who can offer a bit more than clandestine escapades of sex, ducking out whenever he feels like it, etc. To me it's just desperate. Find a guy who doesn't wear a ring and have a bloody wife at home. Yuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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