hahaha1021 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 My mom is there and my other son is there. I'm there in the afternoons and her boyfriend will be around so we should be able to make it work. Oh thats good. She has lots of support. How many weeks early would the baby be if he was born soon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Update* The doctor ordered her to bed rest. He thinks she is okay for now but needs to go to the hospital if contractions get stronger or if she loses the rest of her plug. So for now, Nathan is still cooking. Metro, I am so happy that your daughter is doing well. I am sure that with everyone's help she will be ok and little Nathan will be born just when it is his time to come! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Awwwwwww that is so beautiful, that is my second son's middle name, for the same reasons. Because he was entirely a miracle to have been conceived at all and the fact he was prayed for at the foot of the infant Jesus on Christmas Eve by his big brother. He would have had the first name of Gabriel but we decided to keep with the Irish names (my husband is part Irish) so Ryan David and Liam Gabriel. I am so glad to hear you are doing well! Thank you Victoria! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 I think all of the U.S. follows the FMLA guidelines. link removed They HAVE to give you a minium of 12 weeks out by law, providing that you submit the required paperwork. Ask your HR rep for the FMLA paperwork because you will need to have it filled out by your doc. However, you may be able to take more than that if you work it out with your employer. I took 6 months out with my employers support. Thank you so much BellaDonna, I am going to look into this further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arwen Posted April 12, 2010 Author Share Posted April 12, 2010 OMG Metrogirl, best wishes for your daughter, hopefully the little one will stay inside for a while! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Ok moms and moms to be I need some help. I am stuck and I really need some objective advice. Here is the deal: I am currently not working because I had moved to Texas but things didn't quite work out. Long story and I don't want to focus on that. I worked at my previous employers office for almost 2 years and they were very sad to see me go. Anyways long story short my old supervisor knows that I am back in California and he called me to see if I wanted my old job back. Same pay and all the other perks I used to have. He said that for now he wants me to go back to working full time and then when it got closer to my due date that he would make me work part time. After the baby was born he said hat he would give me 6 weeks off, even though now I know that by law you are supposed to have 12 weeks off. I would be going back to working full time. I did not say yes or no. The reason being is because of the following... I am still finishing school. I have discussed this issue with my parents and they want me to focus on the baby and on school. It would be impossible for me to go to school full time, work full time and still have enough time for the baby. I have a lot of support from my mom and my sister they would take care of my son if I were to work or go to school. My parents say they support me and I believe them but I feel bad because times are hard right now and I have always helped them monetarily as I have always worked and gone to school. They say they can handle it while I finish school but I really do not know what to do. Another thing that worries me is the fact that I used to work an hour away. It takes me roughly an hour to get there and an hour to get home. I am worried that if I take the job again that I am not going to be spending enough time with my son. I don't want to be one of those mom's that only sees their child for 1 hr a day, that would not be enough for me. So if I go back to work I would be making what I was making before which is more than enough for me and the baby to live comfortably and help my parents out, but if I do I am don't know how I will be able to finish school which is extremely important to me! Help...I am stuck and I do not know what to do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Oh I did not realize that you had left that job. You may not be eligible for FMLA since there was a break in employment and you'd be re-starting a job. See link removed under "Eligibility Requirements" IMO, 6 weeks off is not enough time off for a maternity leave. First of all, should you require a c-section the absolute minimum healling time for that is 8 weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shortpants Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Yes, 6 weeks is quite short. I had a c-sec and only took 7 weeks off from work... I really wished I had more. I would take as much time as you could. I would also be concerned about "biting off more that you can chew" with working, school and having a new baby. That might be a bit much. In my situation, I live 45 minutes away from work and cry about once a week because daycare has my daughter 45 hours a week, and I get 15 hours a week with her. It breaks my heart. That might be different if I had family that could care for her, but I really think bonding time with mommy and new baby is of catamount importance. Even moreso in the first few months. It's a hard choice. I guess I always look at it like this with my daughter, "Will I look back in 10 years when Littlepants is a teen and say, 'Boy I really wish I worked more!', no probably not. I am going to look back in 10 years and say, 'where did my baby go?' I've missed first steps, first words... it's heartbreaking" It's a tough call and a hard choice for you to make. Like I said, it might be different with family around for support (I have no family close), but once those "firsts" happen, there is never a chance for another "first", if that make sense! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arwen Posted April 12, 2010 Author Share Posted April 12, 2010 Hey Lunastar, I am sorry to hear that things didn't work out (I didn't find the story here, but I hope you're ok)... and congrats on having a babyboy ! As for work/study/money/time... The situation in Holland is different, as every pregnant woman (regardless of job situation) is entitled 16 weeks of paid maternity leave (4 or 6 weeks before birth, and 10 or 12 weeks after, you can choose how you divide). I chose 4 + 12. And that's sufficient, but not luxuriously long. Of course your education is important... but to combine that with having a baby and a parttime job (which I assume you'd need to not burden your parents too much)... Having a baby is great, but it's a lot of work, especially the first few months are quite heavy, especially when you're breastfeeding and recovering from possibly a heavy birth. So part of the decision is also about your own well-being after birth. Can you work parttime in your old job? Do you have parent-leave like we have (husband takes 1 day off, for example). We work 3 (me) and 4 (him) days, and really I wouldn't want her to be in daycare for more than 2 days a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bella20 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 I think you should focus on school and your son. This will lead to a better job in the future, and you do have your family's support which you absolutely need. Also, as far as the 6 weeks maternity leave... that is complete B.S. WAYY Too little time. Is your baby's dad going to be in the baby's life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Arwen, Thank you so much for responding. I have not posted the story yet but I will as soon as I can. I am trying to avoid the stress of what happened since it is not good for me or the baby to be feeling stressed out. I think I can try to work out a part time job with my previous employer however I am a little afraid to try because that company is crazy. They fire people a lot of the times because they can't meet the time demands that the company has. I have also seen it where they take someone part time and they decide to fire that person because they give more value to the full time employee. I will talk to them and see what we can do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 I think you should focus on school and your son. This will lead to a better job in the future, and you do have your family's support which you absolutely need. Also, as far as the 6 weeks maternity leave... that is complete B.S. WAYY Too little time. Is your baby's dad going to be in the baby's life? Thanks Bella for your input. I have financial help from the father of my child but I will be raising this baby alone, which I do not mind as much because I have an amazing family who are there for me all the way. With my sister they have helped her out so much and she has been able to focus on her child alone but of course she has the baby's father who helps her out too. He works and she stays home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 I feel so lucky here in Canada we have a year paid maternity. Mind you when I had my son it was 6 months, but still far better than most countries give. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 ^^ Totally agree maybe I should move to Canada. I wouldn't have to worry if I had a year paid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 It is 65% of your normal pay but it is better than squat and better than 6 or 12 weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 ^^ Very true.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Not to mention you can have up to 3 months or so sick leave BEFORE your Mat leave kicks in, when I had my first son I had sick leave for 12 weeks and then 5 months of MAT leave.......and then with the last baby I had 8 weeks of Sick leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hahaha1021 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 ^^Wow thats so cool. I wish I lived in Canada, but I think I might get bored not working for that long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 You can go back to work if you want, but at least you are not forced to and to leave a 6 week old baby to fend without it's mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hahaha1021 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Yeah that is true. unfortunately I will be returning to work 2 weeks after. I will bring the baby to work with me till he is 6 weeks then I will have to leave him at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangletsbang Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Yeah that is true. unfortunately I will be returning to work 2 weeks after. I will bring the baby to work with me till he is 6 weeks then I will have to leave him at home. I can take off up to 12 weeks but I don't think I am..maybe 8 or 10..but as much as I want to spend time with my baby, I would rather be getting 100% of my salary vs. 80% to be able to provide as much as I can for him..I am thinking about going part time though, possibly..I couldn't be a stay at home mom though..being home 24/7 would drive me nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hahaha1021 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 ^^^ I am right there with you. On both the money and going crazy being home 24/7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 I think all of the U.S. follows the FMLA guidelines. link removed They HAVE to give you a minium of 12 weeks out by law, providing that you submit the required paperwork. Ask your HR rep for the FMLA paperwork because you will need to have it filled out by your doc. However, you may be able to take more than that if you work it out with your employer. I took 6 months out with my employers support. Well your employer has to fall within certain guidelines to have to follow FMLA (have A certain # of employees, etc,) and you have to have worked a minimum number of hours in the previous 12 months (I believe it is 1200 hours or so) in order to qualify for FMLA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Yeah that is true. unfortunately I will be returning to work 2 weeks after. I will bring the baby to work with me till he is 6 weeks then I will have to leave him at home. What kind of work do you do? Your OB Gyn may not clear you for work until a min. of 6 weeks after a vaginal delivery and 8 weeks after a c-section if you end up with one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 ^^^ I am right there with you. On both the money and going crazy being home 24/7 Believe it or not that 12 weeks FLIES by in a blur of sleepless nights, round the clock feedings and trying to get into the rhythm of your new life with baby. I blinked and it was over. I returned to work when my baby was 10 weeks and I dreaded it (and I thought I would go crazy, was one of those women who worked a billion hours in a high stress job.) I can't imagine trying to go back to work in 2 weeks! Your body is no where near recovered and you are SOOOOO exhausted! Do you have a contingency plan if that doesn't end up working out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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