Talus Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Ok just a quick rundown; broke up maybe 2 months ago due to her wanting to travel and everything for a year by herself next year. She called me one night, after this had been an issue for us because clearly I didn't fit her plans, and we were both upset. Anyways it was obvious that this was "the call" so we talked and just agreed it was tearing us apart etc. etc. and it was mutual. However I really don't feel it was mutual, but it was tearing us apart and nothing could be done, so I guess it was... Bah. ANYWAYS. Moving on. I've been strict NC now for I don't know, about a month and a half? I've had a couple of txts from her just saying she loves me hopes things are well, haven't responded. Just because I need to take control and occasionally txting my first love is not going to help me get over her. SO. I saw her out last night, waiting in line to get into a club. Literally like a metre away from me(for you Americans, couple of feet). I saw her, she saw me. She said "heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" kinda drunkenly. Can't really remember what I did but I know I paniced and I immediately looked away. She walked off into the distance by herself and looked away for a bit, then came back and joined the line. Was still a couple of feet away from me, then me and my 2 friends walked straight past her and went into the club. I get a txt saying "thanks for that! I just wanted to say hi! * * * have I done!?"... Leading me to think maybe that was harsh. I paniced. She knows the situation. Even saying hi is too much for me, I just don't want to see or hear from her. It's like all this pain is from the one person and the relationship, then there she was right in front of me. I'm SLOWLY getting better, still up and down, but I'm proud of myself for sticking to NC and realising I just gotta heal. Now I just kinda think, * * * * , now she thinks I hate her or something like that and clearly ignoring her and turning the other way was a dumb move. What are your opinions guys? I'm just a little conflicted at the moment, I don't want her to think there's any bad feelings, but I don't want to contact her, and I had just paniced! Then again does it really matter, I hopefully won't be seeing her for a VERY long time and when we do reach the point where we sit down and have a drink, it'll be at least a year or 3 away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustachio Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Well good for you realizing that you cant have contact with her and sticking to it. Perhaps completely ignoring her like that was not the best solution, but its what you felt you needed to do at the time, so dont beat yourself up too much over it. I would say you have two options right now. Continue the complete NC and just move on, she is out of your life anyways so it doesnt matter. Or. If you are really feeling guilty about it, send her a quick text or email, explaining that in order for you to heal she needs to be out of your life, no contact at all. Let her know you werent trying to be rude, but its what you need to move on and that you would appreciate it if you continued without contact. Just make sure though that if you truly want to continue with NC, that you leave it at just that and dont expect or want a reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolchick64 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 I agree with Mustachio. It's not a big deal either way you handle it. I'd probably just leave well enough alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talus Posted September 27, 2009 Author Share Posted September 27, 2009 Thanks mate, yea I guess I am feeling a bit guilty. As I said I just paniced really, I'd often gone over in my head what I'd do if I saw her. Obviously all that planning goes out the window. I've explained to her before(this is the second time we've broken up) that I just need this for me, that she needs to be out of my life. She gets that. I don't think I will tell her again. If I reply it'd be this "I'm sorry about last night, I really didn't mean to be rude. There's no hard feelings I just paniced when I saw you... hope you had a good night, take care x"... Though at this stage I'd really rather not contact her... Been keeping it up strong for the last month and a half. Thanks for the reply you guys, looking forward to hearing a few more opinions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight40 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 I dont think you reacted badly, dont give yourself such a hard time, its perfectly normal to not know what to do in that situation when emotions are still running high, ive done it myself. Dont feel guilty man xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlife21 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 i am very afraid to see the word "ignore", it is something that is breaking up my relationship.... sorry, not contributing to your situation, just couldn't stop myself commenting on that word... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talus Posted September 27, 2009 Author Share Posted September 27, 2009 Sorry to hear that newlife... Sounds like you're going through a hard time atm. Still conflicted on this. On one hand if I apologise, I don't know what she'll say back and I definitely in no way want to open the lines of communication or have any sort of talk going on. Yet I kinda feel like I should as all she did was say hi and I just turned away immediately... I'm not a rude guy and I feel guilty for it. On the other hand, I don't think I should. As I did what I did to protect myself I guess, I'd had a fair few drinks and who knows if it would've been left at hi? Maybe she would've asked how am I? In a drunken state I could've gotten emotional, anything. I guess I also harbour a lot of bad feelings about the break up/relationship that I haven't mentioned in this thread and I've been feeling a lot of anger towards her for the last few weeks. The last thing I want to do is show the anger and blurt out a massive rant. I dunno. Thanks heaps for the replies guys, it helps hearing other opinions rather than going over and over it in my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrade Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Well Talus I think you have listed some sound reasons why you should not text an apology. If I was in your situation I would not text her back. Yeah, maybe it would have been better if you said a quick hello instead of looking the other way, but a quick hello is really not much of a conversation anyways. She should know that you need her out of your life to heal completely. You don't need to text her again to tell her that. The important thing to remember is that this was just once incident in which you were slightly rude. This incident is completely overshadowed by the events of the relationship and the breakup, and it is not worth breaking NC over. Don't dwell on this. Keep soldering on! I wish you luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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