JonasWaingaro Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 For sure someone's reading it! I'm glad you went to the concert! I know how much you looked forward to it. Sounds like you had a nice date. Yeah? That's about all you could expect for now. That's not bad. From your talk it sounds like he isn't in relationship mode at the moment. So dunno how you feel about being friends and trying to reestablish dating. It is a good thing that he likes ya. Do you think you'll keep up trying? Even in light of his hesitation towards relationships? A tough call! Sure takes the patience of Job. Anyhoo, I'm glad you had a good time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 Hi Nicole, thanks for responding We have been broken up now for 6 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 Thanks Doiiieeezie; I agree, that right now he's definitely not ready which is totally fine cause I'm not completely ready either with him. Also, I don't know why he hung out with me either... was it cause he really wanted to or because he had nothing better to do? Who knows? I definitely don't and maybe never will. All I know is that he was excited about the concert before. Thanks Jonas! All I wanted this time around was for us to have fun and we did. And now he seems more comfortable with me, which is good. I told myself after this concert that I won't really be contacting him (which I really haven't been doing for a while now) and see what happens. At this point, I can say I really have no expectations. I don't sit there (like I used to) take things he does, and read into them cause I honestly don't know what he's thinking. I don't have the energy or the psychic abilities to figure it out, so why bother? lol Whatever is going to happen, is going to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonasWaingaro Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 hehe Yeah mind reading is tough! It sounds like you have the right attitude going. 6months isn't all that long anyway. Or at least that's what I tell myself. I'm glad he's comfortable around you again. That's awesome. I'll keep positive vibes your way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Thanks Jonas! So quick update: He called me tonight (which he HARDLY does) and just making chit chat and invited me to see a taping of the Colbert Report. He did this last week as well, but we never made a definite date as to when so I figured he didn't really mean it. But he asked me to go with him on Thursday, I was really surprised... well surprised he called me firstly and surprised that he actually wanted to hang out. He told me he has a birthday dinner to go to after, but I'm not sure if he wanted me to come with him there as well. I'm assuming not, but who knows? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonasWaingaro Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Well hey, that's not bad. Little steps! He might come around yet! hehe Keep that good attitude! Just don't put all your eggs in that one basket, yeah? Make sure you're living for yourself first and if he comes along - awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Yea not bad at all. Every time my ex and I hang out, I always convince myself that he hates me or thinks I'm annoying which keeps my expectations down lol It's self deprecating, but it works lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted November 3, 2009 Author Share Posted November 3, 2009 Quick Update: So talked to the ex tonight. We are definitely going to the Colbert Report on Wednesday which we weren't able to go to last time. He got tickets, so now we're going. It's nice that he wants to hang out with me and very good that we always have interesting conversations when talking to each other. He also said that he wants to try some chocolate we were talking about, so he said before he meets me he's going to get me one. I know its not much, but this is a huge improvement from how he was acting before. All in all, not the most interesting news, but good nonetheless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted November 5, 2009 Author Share Posted November 5, 2009 Update: Okay so we went to the taping today, well kind of...it was filled to capacity so they're giving us VIP tickets for another show. This keeps happening to us for some reason! Either way, we hung out for a couple hours, talked, ate...it was good. Nothing too interesting came up. Just talking about relationships in general. At one point, he was telling me about his old High school friend he recently reacquainted with. Just from the way he was talking about her, it seemed like she liked him. So I asked him about it and he said that she did admit that she has a thing for him, but he's not interested in her. He said she's a great girl and wouldn't want to ruin that; plus, he doesn't find her attractive, though he said that's not the most important thing it is still somewhat important. He also said, that he used to believe things were very black and white when it came to relationships; for example, if you break up with someone, you don't talk to them, its completely over. And he said after mine and his break up, he sees things aren't that way at all anymore. Anything can happen, you just kind of have to go with things. Then he was talking about his previous exes and how he felt after he was done with them he didn't feel the need to talk to them anymore because they were not people he wanted to associate with. He said I am the only ex girlfriend he's kept in touch with cause he thinks I'm a really good person. It was nice to hear. That's about it. Just seems we're at a standstill, nothing really progressing (at least not visibly, to me). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted December 1, 2009 Author Share Posted December 1, 2009 Update: So I haven't written in a while because honestly, nothing has changed too much. I haven't seen the ex since my last update but he has called me a few times, which he usually doesn't do. He's showing he cares more and more, which is nice. So on Thanksgiving I sent him a message and he responded and I also told him I might be moving out of the country. It's not set in stone that I will be, but it might and I have told him of this. He replied with, "That's so sad. We definitely need to hang out more before you leave". He ended up calling me last night and today again, and we talked. He asked about my situation and again talked about how it was sad I might be leaving. He then told me to make a list of all the things I want to do in the city before I leave but I was rather down about the whole thing. But he insisted and told me he's going to call me this week to make sure I made the list, and that me and him are going to conquer as many things on that list we can before I leave. It was extremely sweet and I was taken aback. The more I talk to him, the more I realize how in love with him I am. Should I tell him how I feel before I move out of the country? I don't know if I'll see him again but at the same time, I don't know if I'm moving for sure. Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Why would you tell him? Do you think that he'd get back together before you left the country? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted December 1, 2009 Author Share Posted December 1, 2009 Ms. Darcy- No, I don't necessarily think we'd get back together... but I don't want to regret not telling him either. The thing is... there is a way I could stay in the country, but I'm not sure if I want to take that opportunity... I didn't tell him this though cause it's not for sure and I do want to spend as much time as possible with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AutumnBorn Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Why play games? Why not just tell him, "yeah, I'd love to spend more time with you, but really, I don't know what I want to do. Maybe you can help me decide what's best for me, help me weigh the pros and cons?" I've decided to be honest and open about everything with my ex and by doing so, I get a lot more feedback and input from him. Not that I want him back. But I do. Not really. Sort of. Anyway...I just find I get more when I live my life like an open book. In the words of my then 14 year old daughter, "what's the point in feeling something if you don't share it?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted December 1, 2009 Author Share Posted December 1, 2009 Thanks AutumnBorn. Yea, you're right I should probably just tell him the whole situation. I guess, I'm just worried about how he'll react. Though he is a very open minded man and if we ever did get back together, I'd have to tell him anyway. So how's your "sort of" reconciliation going Autumn? This whole reconciliation stuff really confuses me... I'm in the situation with the ex, but yet I feel like I have no idea what the hell is going on? Sometimes, I think it would be easier for him to say he hates me and to just move on then to do what we're doing (whatever that is). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Update: So saw the ex again tonight. We decided to conquer two of the places I wanted to go on my list tonight. The first restaurant we went to was really nice and I ended up telling him my dilemma about leaving the country. He was very supportive, but I was just down about the whole thing (the circumstances surrounding the move). He did reassure me that staying would be better and seemed pretty happy. A few times during the conversation he would bring up things we did when we were going out and how fun it was and stuff which was kind of odd cause he really never did that before. So next we were off to a Jazz club. We both love Jazz. We talked about dating and things of the sort and he started to open up about how he was dating, but hasn't been for a while now cause he doesn't feel like it. He mentioned that one of his high school friends called him out for his avoidance behavior. It seems a lot of the things he's been going through this year, he has avoided talking about or dealing with because he felt he had "nothing to else to offer" (including relationships). So I asked him about our relationship and he said the same thing he usually says, which is, "it just didn't work out". So I asked what that meant? He said that our relationship was just bad timing and he just had a feeling it wouldn't work out. I got upset, I almost started crying but I held it in. For almost 8 months, I sat here blaming myself for the break up, improving myself (which I'm glad) and torturing myself for him now to tell me that he just didn't want a relationship. I'm just so upset I wish he told me this months before; it would've saved me a lot of heartache... I didn't cry but he knew I was upset. He said we discussed this before and I said no, you just told me it "just didn't work out". And when we broke up you yelled at me and blamed me for everything. Not once did you call me to see how I was doing or apologized. He actually apologized tonight for the first time. But I felt it was rather late. The only reason me and him are even talking is because I called him to see how HE was doing! And I told him that the only reason we're even here is because I called you. And he said that he felt that since he made me cry that if I wanted to talk, I'd call him (after the break up). I don't know if it's because it's that time of the month, stress or the sheer honesty of what happened with me and him tonight, but I'm just so upset. He kept asking me if I'm okay and I said I was fine (thank god), but the whole time I just wanted to burst into tears. Even though he knows I'm staying in the country, he continued to make a bunch of plans with me which I went along with but I'm not even sure if I want to. I'm just so hurt. I feel like I put myself through so much, only to find out it wasn't my fault. And now he seems to care, but what about 8 months ago, when he dumped me without any explanation or apology? The whole thing is just so unfair. I totally understand people reflect on their behavior on their own time and I'm glad he did but it just sucks. And it sucks even more, that I knew something was wrong when we were going out and when I asked him about it, he ended up breaking up with me instead of being honest. Also, right before we made our relationship official, I told him how hurt I've been in the past and that I'm nervous about being in a relationship but he assured me he knew what he wanted... but he just hurt me too... I'm just really down right now... feel free to express your thoughts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey610 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Thoughts? Anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreedomRing Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Honey, I would not focus so much on whatever his reasons were/are for ending the relationship. Too painful. I also would not continue to go out on outings with him. He has admitted he cannot give much of himself to anyone right now.....so what exactly will you be GAINING from all the hanging out when you have admitted that you are still in love with him?? I see setback and stagnation if you keep chillin with him. Glad you're staying in the country,(although it kind of has a ring of manipulation by telling him about the move)but I would focus on yourself and disconnecting from your ex. permanently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookiecakes Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Hey Honey! I agree with FreedomRing. He's told you the truth about how he is feeling. You can't get angry at him for feeling how he does. If you hang out with him while being in love with him and end up getting hurt, well, you can't blame him, he's told you straight up how he is feeling. For almost 8 months, I sat here blaming myself for the break up, improving myself (which I'm glad) and torturing myself for him now to tell me that he just didn't want a relationship. I'm just so upset I wish he told me this months before; it would've saved me a lot of heartache... I didn't cry but he knew I was upset. He didn't tell you 8 months ago, but now he is. Save yourself the heartache this time. Don't do the same thing again. Don't torture yourself for him. And I noticed you wrote 'torturing myself' not 'him torturing you'. So, simply, you -stop making yourself feel so miserable. Take a long and fresh break from this guy and live your life without him. Make your own adventures and your own life. Life is too short to be feeling like crap, go and find yourself some joy. Take care and I hope you are feeling better. Stay away from him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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