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How to achieve the impossible?


corvidae

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It's akin to plummeting out of an airplane to your death; might as well make funny faces and fart on the way down?

 

Well, my situation was a silly little moment, and yours involves gaseous odors and plummeting to ones death. It's quite a metaphor, but it's pretty hard to make that connection.

 

How about, "it's aking to making light of a situation because who gives a damn if she's said no"?

 

p.s. I got rejected once while asking a woman out I had just met. This got us talking some more. She said, "well, I guess I could buy you a drink." And we went out.

 

So if "farting and falling out of an airplane" is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

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That does not sound like it would give one a better chance. Personally, it would make me feel like a whining baboon, not to mention I can only imagine the girl would think I am some massive tool.

 

As for the original poster, as the others have noted, you are a good looking fellow, you just need to be not as harsh on yourself. Get yourself out there, and try not to be overtaken by your negative thoughts. As for the "short" thing, I am 5'7 and have dated women who are taller than I am, there is seriously nothing there that will hold you back if you do not make it a problem.

 

If you think of yourself as a massive tool, and act especially insecure, and can't give the right vibe when you're saying a line like that (ie, You actually look like a terrified psychopath) then you're right. You'll fail miserably. But if asking the girl out wasn't life or death, and you're just being playful, then it really can work.

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Dignity and refusing to take no for an answer very rarely go hand in hand.

 

Sure, if you're a person who takes themselves so seriously that you equate a man making a light joke with you as losing his dignity, then it will never work. And history shows us that there are plenty of marriages that have resulted from the man "refusing to take no for an answer."

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If you think of yourself as a massive tool, and act especially insecure, and can't give the right vibe when you're saying a line like that (ie, You actually look like a terrified psychopath) then you're right. You'll fail miserably. But if asking the girl out wasn't life or death, and you're just being playful, then it really can work.

 

I wouldn't feel insecure, one bit. I never have problems being playful or teasing, but this is entirely different to me. It seems to be on the edge of being a little kid who is not getting what he wants, so he just stands there with hands crossed and waits till she says what he wants her to say. I just prefer doing it in a different manner, t'is all.

 

And yeah, maybe it is just me, but when a woman says no, I do always respect her to accept that no. If someone is into me, I will know it. I am fine with a bit of chasing, but if there is absolutely no sign of interest what so ever, I feel no desire to go after it.

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I wouldn't feel insecure, one bit. I never have problems being playful or teasing, but this is entirely different to me. It seems to be on the edge of being a little kid who is not getting what he wants, so he just stands there with hands crossed and waits till she says what he wants her to say. I just prefer doing it in a different manner, t'is all.

 

And yeah, maybe it is just me, but when a woman says no, I do always respect her to accept that no. If someone is into me, I will know it. I am fine with a bit of chasing, but if there is absolutely no sign of interest what so ever, I feel no desire to go after it.

 

 

Ok, now imagine John Stewart using this line.

 

edit: I didn't read that last line. If you have developed absolutely no repoire with the woman, and you're just blindly throwing this out, I doubt it's going to go over well. This isn't some kind of opening line. I'm assuming that the person thinks they have at least some shot that she'll say yes.

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Jet.... I dont think others have the same sense of humor you and I do. But thats ok, cause If a guy did say that to me...his sense of humor alone would get him a date. I hate boring, drab men who have no personality.

 

Well, my situation was a silly little moment, and yours involves gaseous odors and plummeting to ones death. It's quite a metaphor, but it's pretty hard to make that connection.

 

How about, "it's aking to making light of a situation because who gives a damn if she's said no"?

 

p.s. I got rejected once while asking a woman out I had just met. This got us talking some more. She said, "well, I guess I could buy you a drink." And we went out.

 

So if "farting and falling out of an airplane" is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

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Yay Corv's back!

Well I suppose bad thing cos as you say, still no change

 

Being on the same road I obviously can't say anything helpful. I shouldn't be unstable, you shouldn't be undateable, a lot of other people on eNA don't seem like it either ... but that's just the reality of it

 

You've already tried online, but what about some of the other extreme options, like a dating coach? Someone to see and "fix" whatever the heck is going wrong, as opposed to just trying to match-make someone.

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Jettison's approach is playful and fun. It also indicates strength; not being afraid of getting rejected.

 

to the OP

I asked at an earlier post how you behave when you're on a date.

Is it more difficult to get the FIRST date? Or to maintain it?

 

Do they see you more of a friend?

Is there a pattern you've noticed?

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playful and fun. It also indicates strength; not being afraid of getting rejected.

 

This would be something like going back over to your friends and having a good night. Don't continue to harass women who turn you down. lol

 

 

I only say this because I have had creepy men do this sort of thing to me. I'm an accepting person, but the ones who have done things like that were seriously thick in the head and worrisome.

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I actually like Jettison's line. I have never ever successfully asked a woman out on a date just by using a normal approach, because normal approaches work best for normal people. I am anything but normal, I'm afraid, in everything from mindset to looks...so anytime I have managed to go on dates it's always either because I was the catalyst of a group-type setting that impressed one of the women present with my humor or I made someone laugh or something.

 

I guess dating is all about opportunity and risk. You give yourself the opportunity to be around women you like and then you take risks and eventually something has to stick. You're not weird-looking, so unless you're massively failing when it comes to interaction, it's hard to believe all these women would find your personality equally unattractive.

 

I would err on the side of being playful than stoic, though. Playful lines at least give you the opportunity to polarize every woman present...they will absolutely hate it or eat it up, and you'll know immediately where you're at.

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playful and fun. It also indicates strength; not being afraid of getting rejected.

 

This would be something like going back over to your friends and having a good night. Don't continue to harass women who turn you down. lol

 

 

I only say this because I have had creepy men do this sort of thing to me. I'm an accepting person, but the ones who have done things like that were seriously thick in the head and worrisome.

 

Interesting that you'd assume that a confident guy who doesn't get shattered just because the woman refused him is automatically placed in the "creepy guy" column. There's a little bit of projection going on there.

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I don't think she meant to imply a confident guy would automatically be placed into the creepy section. Your approach is not for me, but I reckon it would work well with some and is definitely not bad by all means. There are merely a lot of guys who go way too far, and will not get lost when a woman rejects them. Being playful and trying is all fine and well, but there is a line where it starts to turn into annoyance and more. I am all for playful, and for pursuing at the right time, but many guys do not know when to give up.

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Jettison don't take it personally, the line was lame, I mean 8 interrupted seconds of staring? I guess it would work if you kind of now the woman, but with a woman you just said hi...but what do I know, I'm a loser virgin, hungry for some sort of intimacy, however I wouldn't really like a woman who eats up that line.

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Did I assume? I thought I said the ones I had experienced personally were this way...

 

You said that, but you also said right away that it was just a bad line if used on you, independent of the guy delivering it. And I'm sure you're right. It won't work for everyone, nor does anything.

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Jettison don't take it personally, the line was lame, I mean 8 interrupted seconds of staring? I guess it would work if you kind of now the woman, but with a woman you just said hi...but what do I know, I'm a loser virgin, hungry for some sort of intimacy, however I wouldn't really like a woman who eats up that line.

 

No one is taking it personally, but your reading comprehension is "lame". No one said anything about "a woman you just said 'hi' to."

 

And the line isn't "lame". It would be the giver of the line that would be lame. It's just a line. And as I hinted, I used it myself and got a drink and a date out of it. And yeah, my virgindom expired quite a long time ago.

 

Lines in general just don't work though. "Lines suck". I'm no pick up artist, and I pretty much detest that breed. I was merely bringing up a light, cheeking thing one could say to a woman if she said no to his advances. I'm not trying to right a how to book here. Everyone is free not say this. In fact, I encourage you not to.

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