What kind of girls are players attracted to?

[givinggirl]

I'd have to ask... What separates the average guy from a player? Surely all guys are always talking and joking around about sex- It's how men are in general. What are the characteristics of a player? What signs do you need to watch out for?

 

There are so many different things and they are different for each guy. Most players who are about the sex will flirt with every girl in sight in front of their gf, they will brag to their gf about how popular they were amongst the ladies in the past and how they would have sex with their roommates gf...etc. They will also keep on you until you agree to go out with them, they don't take no for an answer.

 

Then there are the compulsive liars who don't even know themselves who they are because their whole life is a lie. These types are usually hiding from something they don't like about their lives or themselves, but they also like to brag about how they are so smart and can pull the wool over someone's eyes.

 

If a guy is over-complimenting you the very first time that he meets you...watch out...that is a big sign. Or if they make decisions for you or you said you don't want another drink and they order it for you anyways...those kinds of things.

[Blue Spiral]

I think there are a number of different species, some of which have been touched on here:

 

1. The "For The Love Of The Game" Players: these guys are less about the sex and more about the accomplishment/challenge. I imagine the PUA types fit into this category. (Random aside: I know it means pick-up artist, but I always read it as "poo-ah" and I picture it as Al Pacino saying "poo," which is about how I picture most PUAs. No offense, guys.) These players will go after what some would call high-value targets...the hottest girl in the trendiest nightclub, etc. The more standoffish or demanding the better. "Oh, you only make half a million a year?" You will attract these guys by, well, being insanely hot and knowing what they're up to, which they'll view as the perfect opportunity to test their skills.

 

2. The "Standard Male Outlook" Players: hey, what's monogamy done for them, lately, anyway? They are mainly about the sex, and, being cautious, will try to find it in as many sources as they can, as not to put all their eggs in one basket. These players can lapse into a sex-heavy relationship, but if their satisfaction wanes, they'll quickly cheat or eject. They will use whatever level of success and looks they have to find the best-possible candidate for sex. The good news is, they aren't as religious about conquests as the first group, so if they end up being legally/financially handcuffed in marriage, they can probably learn to live with it, assuming the sex is good. They go after every kind of woman under the sun, assuming they're attractive, though they may not be bold enough to go after the elite types. This type especially annoys the ladies, as they're the most "normal" and will like you both as a person and a sex object, though the percentages fluctuate. Sixty percent player and forty percent good guy one day, the opposite the next, etc.

 

3. The "Hapless Woody Allen-ish Lucky Guy" Players: oh, god, I kind of fall into this category. Though we are hapless, we are mainly known for our laziness. While PUAs venture into glittering nightclubs in search of women who have had affairs with CEOs, we're more low-effort about things. We basically rely on our ability to blunder into good situations. If we come accross a nice girl who wants a relationship--great! If we come accross an aggressive woman who doesn't have time for a relationship and just wants sex--great! If we come accross both at the same time--well, I wouldn't cheat, but, for most of us, great! We are weak-willed and will basically utilize whatever opportunities life throws at us. (The polar opposite to this group is the bitter nice guys who have no luck; success in these matters has nothing to do with your strength as a person or how hard you try, it's almost entirely luck, from what I've seen. Thus our cavalier attitude towards it!) We often end up with women similar to us--low self-esteem, emotionally vulnerable, etc. But it's not because we target them, it's because like attracts like. There's no real way to avoid us, but if you see a dorky-but-cute guy wandering around, blinking a lot, and looking generally confused, flee, as it may be us, and our luck may be crazy. (And, my apologies for the giant paragraph.)

 

4. The "Creepy Controlling Psycho" Players: they claim to be all about the monogamy, but look out! They're more about controlling you than sex. Often politicians or pastors, they will talk endlessly about marriage and family values, confront you with patriarchal ideas from the 1850s, try to get you to wear only ankle-length dresses...but, surprise, they're hooking up with their secretary or the really religious guy down the block. They are likely to be abusive, stalker-ish, and eager to remind you that you made a Promise for Forever and men are wired different than women, dammit! You will attract these men by being vocal about how you're tired of modern guys/players, and they will attract you by being seemingly "solid" with a dash of money.

 

5. The "I'm A Polyamorist, Not A Player!" Players: ack, that's me, again. We aren't players, we just aren't very good at monogamy, nor do we see the appeal. There's a sure way to scare us off: talk about the concept of marriage early, and we will cut our losses and move on.

 

I hope I don't get kicked out of the Secret Guy Club for revealing all this...

[veneratio]

There's a type?

[Intense]

What attracts a player? A beautiful girl usually.

You must first define what you mean by a player, since you make creeps and stalkers seem like players in your post while the whole game is about not being a creepy stalker.

[Sn0man]

You're fired.

 

Sn0man

President

Secret Guy Club

[baguette]

ALL OF THEM. they are playas cause they have a lust for women.

[galaxy71]

Is it me? But can anyone really make generalizations about players? One girl might view one guy as a player, but another girl might view him as a bad boy with edge. Some woman who is looking to settle down, might look at a cocky guy with a high sex drive as a player, while another woman would look at him a stud that she might want to have discreet, no strings attached sex. When I think of players, I think of Mystery, Jlaix, Style, Tucker Max, Russell Crowe, Steve Garvey, Shawn Merriman, Wilt Chamberlain, and JFK.

 

PUAs like Mystery and Jlaix love bars and nightclubs. However, the players that I know personally prefer to stick to their social circles. There are guys who are looking for one-nights and who want to sleep with that perfect 10. Than there are other guys who will flirt with other women, even though he is already in a monogamous relationship.

 

Is a player a guy who likes one-night stands and who brags about how he slept with models and had threesomes? Or is a player a guy who pretends that he wants a relationship with a woman, in order to get in her pants? How about a confident guy who is comfortable conversing and flirting with women that he just met? Is he a player, if he has sex outside of a relationship? I think that the term "player" is so overused, that it has lost it's original meaning. I find it extremely difficult to make generalizations about them.

[galaxy71]

The guys that you described in category #2 remind me of the older guys on this men's website. It's filled with guys in their thirties and fourties who are bitter, even though they have a lot of experience with relationships, and marriage. These guys have plenty of wisdom for the younger guys and the bitter guys who have no success with women. However, with all the experience that they have with women and sex, they can be just as bitter as the guys with no sexual or relationship experience with women. They have an extremely negative opinion of marriage and divorce. They also think that women settle for nice guys, after they go through their bad boy phase. On the flip side, they have a lot of wisdom. A women cannot teach a boy to be a man. A man must realize women are not sweet, pure angeles. They can be just as bad as men. These guys want no strings attached sex, because they lost faith in dating and relationships.

[D_Lish]

What attracts a player? A beautiful girl usually.

You must first define what you mean by a player, since you make creeps and stalkers seem like players in your post while the whole game is about not being a creepy stalker.

 

All men are attracted to beauty and will go for beautiful women.

 

Word spreads between males who ALL like to share details of their conquests (that aint just reserved for players).....and I reckon players go for 'easy meat', the ones they think are or know to be through the grapevine, 'easy lays'. Also easy targets, as in vulnerable/needy women, who will believe everything a man tells them....hence why they are shat on, time and time again.

 

It's all about easy sex and getting sex asap.....but then isnt that the case, for most men and until they find someone they want to settle with?

[givinggirl]

To me a player is a person who has a devious angle, who portrays one thing, but is really about something else and has total disregard for how the others feel, but will pretend they do. Out to satisfy No. 1 and doesn't care who they roll over along the way and has no problem being manipulative, in fact, thrives on it. It is all a big game to score....whatever it is they are looking to score. Players are not just confined to the dating world, they could be co-workers, siblings, friends, etc.

[EQD]

a rooster by another name.... is still a 'rooster'

[coldplay.]

This thread is going widely off topic, ill try and post something of relevance.

 

Women attract players because they know what women want. Women want to be approached, they want a man that has balls enough to do so. Women want a man that can show interest but isnt a doormat, one that is the prize rather than attempting to eat from her palm. This list can go on and on.

 

Dont even mention PUA's on the list, they arnt your everyday humans, its like calling a race car driver stupid for driving to fast or a lawyer stupid for arguing so much. They pick up girls as a result of bettering their life, the bettering of their life isnt the result of picking up girls.

 

I would only see a player being "bad" if they lied to women, thats the mark or just a bad person with a bad intention. Not wanting a relationship and being good with women is different from manipulating. Also the PUA's which apparently are the worst of the worst, will not lie to a girl. They dont need to.

 

Final comment, a player is only a player if you take your cloths off for him.

[Odysseus]

The original question was "What kind of girls are players attracted to?" and this discussion has devolved into what the nature of a player is, which is of course part of the answer.

 

We can nit-pick this for days. We all know what they are. They may be "good" with women, but use that to manipulate the encounter to their favor. Not to really connect with a woman, but to get sex. Please don't sugar coat this. It's insulting. You don't need to lie to a girl to be a player. Players just need to push the right buttons (which they've learned) to get what they want, then shove her out the door.

 

If players would just say up front "I'm talking to you because you are sexy. I don't want a relationship. Let's just get past the pleasantries and shag.", at least the women they were talking to would know upfront what they are in for. No doubt some women want that too, and should be equally honest about their intentions.

-O

[coldplay.]

We all know what they are. They may be "good" with women, but use that to manipulate the encounter to their favor. Not to really connect with a woman, but to get sex. Please don't sugar coat this. It's insulting. You don't need to lie to a girl to be a player. Players just need to push the right buttons (which they've learned) to get what they want, then shove her out the door.

 

Im not defending every man here, some have bad intentions. But none the less the same facts are shared between the ones with bad AND good intentions. They are men that take initiative and destiny within their own hands, your demonizing self improvement, so in your mind apparently being "good" with women means your automatically manipulating them and with only one intention. Just wow. If a girl wants to have sex with me im sure as hell not going to stop her, want to know why? Because i man and want to have sex to, not some passive aggressive boy-man that would prefer to hold hands and get dumped eventually for a man she found more attractive. Why would i not do everything in my power to be attractive to the opposite sex? People spend 4000$ on breast implants, but learning self help on the internet none the less is apparently far worse in your opinion. "players" "pua" whatever you want to call them doesnt matter, are chosing not to be the victims, just as much as it is a responcibility for women not to go for just any guy and be victims. But apparently learning how to succeed in life, as well as women, is looked down upon by people for whatever reason and that is beyond me.

[Odysseus]

Oh...that's just it. I'm verry "good" with women. If I wanted to have sex, I've had many opportunities. I've chosen to not do so because, to me, sex always changes the game and ups the ante farther than I(or she) might be ready for . Not to beat this into submission, but there's a big difference in having the goods, knowing you have the goods, but showing some amount of restraint when it comes to using it.

 

Players don't seem to show any restraint. Sex to them is just another pastime, like good food, or watching a great football game, except there's another person in the room who may be getting the wrong idea. I'm just saying be straight with people. If you want sex, and that's all, say it. Don't play games. Being a man doesn't mean racking up conquests. It's sex appeal, respect for her and self control among other things.

 

I also think this is a generational thing. Many of the younger guys seem (on this forum) to be much more willing to give it all up, all the time.