givinggirl Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I seem to constantly attract the player type of guy. I am wondering what it is about me that attracts them. Are there certain personality traits that attract them? Anyone have a clue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EQD Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 the kind that give it up and put up with being treated like crap or as second best. and everything that falls into that category. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorpion Fury Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 ^^^what she said, they seem to like any girl they're attracted to that will fall for their lame game. Many like the young naive ones that haven't been around and heard it all yet, they're easier to manipulate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
givinggirl Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 the kind that give it up and put up with being treated like crap or as second best. and everything that falls into that category. When a guy first sees me, he has no idea as to whether I am like that or not (BTW, I'm not). What makes him come over to talk to me in the first place? Also, when I don't reciprocate his advances, what makes him keep on trying? Is it that he feels like a girl can't say no to him, so he needs to conquer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hexaemeron Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 When a guy first sees me, he has no idea as to whether I am like that or not (BTW, I'm not). What makes him come over to talk to me in the first place? Also, when I don't reciprocate his advances, what makes him keep on trying? Is it that he feels like a girl can't say no to him, so he needs to conquer? He wants to feed his ego. Nothing is sexier to a player than being told no, because the whole thrill of it is getting something you weren't meant to have. Goal reached and onto the next one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EQD Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 heehee, the thing about players is that they bait themselves out for EVERYONE. they usually go after all the girls. lol, they probably dont single you out. i deal with players by picking up on their game and telling them outloud and upfront that i dont work that way and to move on. i'm a rude and nasty person when i want to be. they call me a word that rhymes with itch and get the hell out of my way. your inaction could keep them lingering.. its what they call being a bit 'kind hearted' they only do what you allow them to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldplay. Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 its not about that... Players, "play" the numbers game, they hit on all attractive girls, even if they get 10% success but approach 30 women or more a week, thats 3 successes. Take it as a compliment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
givinggirl Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 Basically, it is only a physical attraction and nothing to do with my personality. I was beginning to think it was something that I was doing to attract it. I'm really tired of wasting my breath even having a convo with these guys. I'm not interested in a player. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hexaemeron Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Basically, it is only a physical attraction and nothing to do with my personality. I was beginning to think it was something that I was doing to attract it. I'm really tired of wasting my breath even having a convo with these guys. I'm not interested in a player. If by doing something, you mean "owning a vagina", then yes, you are doing something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
givinggirl Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 If by doing something, you mean "owning a vagina", then yes, you are doing something. Actually, I was thinking more along the lines that I am shy and quiet....maybe they think I am an easy target. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyp Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Yep, it's just a numbers game I'm afraid. They hit on everyone....not just you or certain types. As my friend used to say "If I hit on 20 women a day, at least two of them will say yes" (in fact he said something much less polite than that, but that's the player mentality for you....it's all about notches on the bedpost). I remember my ex one day complaining about some creepy guy that had hit on her on the way to work and that when she'd got to work, her colleague was excitedly talking about this "amazing guy that I met this morning that really clicked with me and was taking me out tonight".....turned out it was the same guy and he'd hit on about four of the same colleagues that morning. LOL. If you're finding yourself always getting hit on by player types, then maybe it's the places you're hanging out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EQD Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Actually, I was thinking more along the lines that I am shy and quiet....maybe they think I am an easy target. if.. IF they are singling you out for that its because that can be a sign of a low-selfesteem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragon lady Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Just as players come from all walks of life (from the family man to the bad boy on the motorcycle), so do their targets. They will take whatever they can get. There's no use in trying to change yourself in order to not attract them. It's best to try to identify certain patterns in the men that you deem to be players and stay away from them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldplay. Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 players like all types of girls, as long as they're in "their standards" such as pretty girls, gulible...innocent. or they like the girls they KNOW will give em what they want... ehh, boys will be boys.. just avoid the cocky ones, they're usually the biggest tools. isnt that how women shop for men? Standards first then potential for anything more. I think if all men and women acted like "players" they would be alot happier with their dating life. As long as you dont sleep with them your fine haha. Funny though your sig, if cocky men are the biggest tools E Roosevelt was married to the biggest tool of all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarkan Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 players like all types of girls, as long as they're in "their standards" Is there something wrong with that ? Personally I don't have a "type" of girl aswell. Maybe some preferences but those are not requirements. As long as you feel good with that person. Why would you be a player if you like diversity ? For me a player is just someone who will play a role and fake everything. He isn't honest about his own person and his feelings. And their main purpose is just having sex. Sometimes they do this to compensate the lack of love they had. Just my 50 cent: It looks like in this thread we're once again talking about manly players only. Women can be players too you know. Actually, most players I've met in my life were women. Please, player =/= man And lol@ overgenralisations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sn0man Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Something that no one has really addressed here is, what is your definition of player? What is it about the guys you're having problems with that makes you think they're players? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
givinggirl Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 Is there something wrong with that ? Personally I don't have a "type" of girl aswell. Maybe some preferences but those are not requirements. As long as you feel good with that person. Why would you be a player if you like diversity ? For me a player is just someone who will play a role and fake everything. He isn't honest about his own person and his feelings. And their main purpose is just having sex. Sometimes they do this to compensate the lack of love they had. Just my 50 cent: It looks like in this thread we're once again talking about manly players only. Women can be players too you know. Actually, most players I've met in my life were women. Please, player =/= man And lol@ overgenralisations I agree with you and yes, players can be women too. I think all of us have been young and naive at some point in our lives and have all been played in some way. However, I am not sold on their main purpose as just having sex. That seems to be what most people think of when they refer to players. I think it is more that they can manipulate and get away with it. I think they get a personal high when they dupe another person. Some are only out for sex, but others are out for a different kind of satisfaction. One thing is for sure...no matter what they are out for...everything out of their mouths is not the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odysseus Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Actually, I was thinking more along the lines that I am shy and quiet....maybe they think I am an easy target. I'd say this is the likely case. "Shy and quiet" sometimes translates into "insecurity". Players are all about using a woman's own insecurity and vulnerability and to get into women's pants to satisfy their sex drive. Just tell them to find a knot-hole and move on. It's really all they need (and maybe a mirror). LOL p.s. I'd also add that IMHO players really never change. This isn't a one time accident or out of character pattern. They are hard-wired this way. Oh...they get married, have kids, act like they can be "hurt"....ouch, then do it all over again. Avoid them. They are poisonous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vertigoxo Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I'd have to ask... What separates the average guy from a player? Surely all guys are always talking and joking around about sex- It's how men are in general. What are the characteristics of a player? What signs do you need to watch out for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarkan Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I agree with you and yes, players can be women too. I think all of us have been young and naive at some point in our lives and have all been played in some way. However, I am not sold on their main purpose as just having sex. That seems to be what most people think of when they refer to players. I think it is more that they can manipulate and get away with it. I think they get a personal high when they dupe another person. Some are only out for sex, but others are out for a different kind of satisfaction. One thing is for sure...no matter what they are out for...everything out of their mouths is not the truth. I agree that player is just not only about sex. In fact's it's every form of manipulation where you feel better about yourself and where you don't really care about the other person, the victim, the one that is being played. Playing is a form of egotripping or a compensation for something. However, all players don't know about the fact that they are players. Sometimes, it's all very normal for them to act like such because they have been victims themselves or because that's the only form of experience they have. In that case, a player is also a victim. Victim of himself. The worst kind of players are those that know it about themselves. They have sick pleasure in doing what they do. I think the girl I used to love is a player but doesn't realise it. You see, I made a thread not long ago about how I'd try to get over her. But now that I aint giving her attention anymore, she's around me again ... and like a fool I fall in trap everytime. Because you hope that for one time, it will be different =( Don't we fall for players sometimes in the hope of changing them ? Because we know that behind what seems an evil person, there is a human soul ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
givinggirl Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 it's funny how my quote has nothing to do with cocky men, and if she was that's all her. however, she claims he wasn't unfaithful so i guess that's a plus.. who knows? anyway dear, if you mean a "player".. as in a man who cheats (assuming you are a girl hehe), then just try to identify certain patterns in the men that you date and stay away from them... just like the person above had mentioned if you find out you're being played and you've been a good gf, then it's not your fault, it's them. just don't fall head over heels without knowing a guy for sure I'm not really talking about guys that I have dated....I know what the problems were with them and I have learned my lessons. I have only dated one true player and yes, I was young, naive and let him convince me that his lies weren't lies,even though my instincts knew better. That was many, many years ago and now my instincts are the first thing that I trust. I am just talking about the guys that hit on me....I turn them down, but they usually keep on trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hexaemeron Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I'm not really talking about guys that I have dated....I know what the problems were with them and I have learned my lessons. I have only dated one true player and yes, I was young, naive and let him convince me that his lies weren't lies,even though my instincts knew better. That was many, many years ago and now my instincts are the first thing that I trust. I am just talking about the guys that hit on me....I turn them down, but they usually keep on trying. Sorry, babe. That's life. Unless you want to wear a sandwich board or something and probably even then it wouldn't stop everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odysseus Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I'd have to ask... What separates the average guy from a player? Surely all guys are always talking and joking around about sex- It's how men are in general. What are the characteristics of a player? What signs do you need to watch out for? He's had MANY sex partners, but chalks them up as "fun" and that the women "knew what they were getting into". Will tell you those days are over baby and he's looking for a real relationship now. Use their own hard luck stories about relationships to get you to think they are all emotional, but are just playing you. Talk about your sexual relationship with their buddies. You are yet another trophy to hang on their wall. Just a few. I've seen too many of these tools to count. Broken hearts in their wake...telling everyone they've changed, all while trolling for the next ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vertigoxo Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 He's had MANY sex partners, but chalks them up as "fun" and that the women "knew what they were getting into". Will tell you those days are over baby and he's looking for a real relationship now. Use their own hard luck stories about relationships to get you to think they are all emotional, but are just playing you. Talk about your sexual relationship with their buddies. You are yet another trophy to hang on their wall. Just a few. I've seen too many of these tools to count. Broken hearts in their wake...telling everyone they've changed, all while trolling for the next ex. My ex was a real player for sure, and he did everything you just described to a T. Whatever. Atleast now I can thank him for the crappy experiences so I can move on to a real sweet guy with genuine intentions of staying with me and ONLY me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odysseus Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 My ex was a real player for sure, and he did everything you just described to a T. Whatever. Atleast now I can thank him for the crappy experiences so I can move on to a real sweet guy with genuine intentions of staying with me and ONLY me. You deserve better. Don't compromise. Peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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