sarahN Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I just started dating a guy exclusively and I've been seeing him in total a month. We are getting along great, keeping things casual and fun. He has two best friends. These two people are a guy and a girl and happen to be long term dating. The three of them spend weekends going for walks, having picnics, and basically spend all their time together as though the three of them are dating. He even makes comments about how he loves the both of them. I thought this entire situation was weird but tried to be open minded about it considering he and I have such a blast. But.... Last night when we were all hanging out something very strange happened. His best girlfriend got extremely upset out of nowhere, and lashed out at all of us, claiming that we were excluding her from our conversations the entire night. This tantrum lasted about 20 minutes with lots of yelling and slamming of doors (she's 25). I personally didn't know what the hell was going on so I kept quiet. Her bf (my bf's best guy friend) totally brushed her off as if nothing happened and continued on with the conversation. My boyfriend had this look of genuine worry and compassion on his face and kind of got quiet. She then locks herself in her bedroom and we can hear her out of control sobbing (again... she's 25 -- lol). My boyfriend, not her boyfriend, but MY boyfriend then gets up, goes into her room, DOOR CLOSED, and consoles her for about 45 min (the whole time her bf is talking to me as if nothing is going on). My guy then comes out and tells me that she wants me to leave. What the Would this entire scenerio rub anyone else the wrong way? Ok, I'm not stupid, I know she is jealous of me. It just really freaked me out that my boyfriend was doing the job of what her boyfriend should have been doing. I feel like the three of them have this twisted relationship and I'm thinking about walking away from the whole thing. Is this too much drama way too soon??? Would anyone else break up with the guy over this?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macleod Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Excuse my brashness but..............Run! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nace180 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I agree with the person above me. Although I'd never expect a new relationship to disregard people that they've known for a long time, I think the fact that he cared more about what she was going through than what you might me thinking is completely backwards. He should be trying to foster an emotional connection with you. It's not something I'd get myself messed up with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speranza Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 You need to ASK????????? It's only a month, you probably don't have strong feelings. Get OUT!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HouseKitten Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Cut and run. There's no way he's going to give up his weird three-way relationship with them. And unless you're okay being excluded by this girl and having her make it impossible for you to stick around, since it's obviously you she has a problem with, I'd get out of there. He's in an odd situation. And frankly, her boyfriend should have been comforting her, not yours. And when she throws a tantrum and says you have to go, he supports her? Too weird. I can't see this ending well if you stay with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quirky Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 What the hell is going on there?? Sounds very.very.messy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I'd cut and run. He's not dating you exclusively, he's too bound up in her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speranza Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 And you obviously HAVEN'T been dating him 'exclusively' no matter what you thought. He's attached already. To another guy's g/f. They might be grooming you for swapping... Agent - JINX! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangesoda Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 whatever strange relationship dynamic they have going on...i would seriously pass on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScubaDiva Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Hmm.. that doesn't sound too good. I think your instincts are spot on - too weird for words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I wouldn't give this a second thought, I'd be out of there in a New York minute! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpinSpinSugah Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I'd cut and run, haha. I don't think anyone needs that kind of drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Excuse my brashness but..............Run! OP I totally agree with macleod, you need to cut this guy and run. Even he is acting this way with only a month into the relationship, what the heck is he going to be doing if things get serious. What if the two if his friends were to break up, is YOUR boyfriend going to be the one "consoling" her? Way too messy...way too much drama for one month... Cut this guy! He does not seem worth the drama he would bring into your life!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perfect Dark Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 She's either an attentionwhore and is jealous that she isn't in the spot light anymore or her and your b/f are having sex. Either way get out, way too much drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cleap24 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I agree with Wila. I think there is definitely something going on there between the two, maybe 3. I'd get out now before they try bringing you into whatever it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I would outright confront your boyfriend. Why did he comfort her? Why didn't he stand up for you when she told you to leave? Why isn't her boyfriend taking care of you? If things don't change now, I'd be out in a heartbeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatNat Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 ummmm very odd to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HellFrost666 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 It sounds like she was pissed beccause she was not the center of attnetion. And the fact that her boyfriend sat there and did nothing makes it seems like this is a regular thing for her and he's used to it by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahN Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 I'm bummed out now. I wasn't expecting everyone to think it was as bad as I did. I'm kind of depressed now. One little extra, when I asked him if he liked her as more than friends, he said he cared for her like a sister. I don't know if that makes a difference. And I think he went to comfort her because her boyfriend wasn't. I'm probably just making excuses for him at this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcadefire Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Yes, I think you are making excuses for his behavior. This "friendship" with his best guy's girl is almost bordering on infidelity. If I were that girl's bf, I would think it odd to spend an hour with her alone in a bedroom "comforting" her, don't you think? It seems like she can't stand the fact that your current bf is now yours and not hers alone. Not a triangle/square/diamond or whatnot you want to get involved in. She sounds psycho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I'm bummed out now. I wasn't expecting everyone to think it was as bad as I did. I'm kind of depressed now. One little extra, when I asked him if he liked her as more than friends, he said he cared for her like a sister. I don't know if that makes a difference. And I think he went to comfort her because her boyfriend wasn't. I'm probably just making excuses for him at this point. It's not BF consoling her that's the problem. The problem is that he not only allowed her to kick you out, he delivered the message himself. That's a no-brainer--walk away. No drama, no lectures--there's zero point in that. He's already showed you what he's made of, and it's disrespectful of you. In your corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I can't imagine a friend of his freaking out because I was upsetting them by being there. And I REALLY can't imagine a boyfriend telling me that it was my fault and that I should leave. I can't imagine my boyfriend not standing up for me and telling her to grow up in that situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I can't imagine a friend of his freaking out because I was upsetting them by being there. And I REALLY can't imagine a boyfriend telling me that it was my fault and that I should leave. I can't imagine my boyfriend not standing up for me and telling her to grow up in that situation. Exactly. Did this guy at least leave with you, or did he just give you the toss? I really understand that you feel terrible, and the only point of saying these things is to clarify for you that you did NOT deserve this. Hopefully you won't put up with it. (You'll thank yourself later.) In your corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inquirer89 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 You should get out before things get worse. There is much more going on between the three of them than what you've already seen. Your boyfriend shouldn't be trying to calm her down, that's her bf's job. You need to cut your losses now before you get hurt further down the road. You don't need to tolerate that kind of childishness from her or the disrespect your boyfriend has shown you already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speranza Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I'm bummed out now. I wasn't expecting everyone to think it was as bad as I did. I'm kind of depressed now. One little extra, when I asked him if he liked her as more than friends, he said he cared for her like a sister. I don't know if that makes a difference. And I think he went to comfort her because her boyfriend wasn't. I'm probably just making excuses for him at this point. Sweetheart, you did ask us... What were you expecting/wanting? Were you wanting us to say, "Ignore your gut feeling, stay with him, cos you deserve no better and it's going to be impossible to find anyone else, EVER!!" ??? Women who ignore their gut feeling get raped/abused/treated badly somehow. It's there for a reason, it led you to post on here. And now you have our answer. Why on EARTH, after just a MONTH, would you even be questioning whether it's right to get out? I'm going to say this one more time. Let's see if anyone shares my concern: THEY MAY BE GROOMING YOU FOR SOMETHING UTTERLY WEIRD. Can you give us ANY reason for staying in this 'relationship'? GET OUT! And if you don't want to hear this, post on some weirdo wife-swapping site... (And if this is you 'getting along great, keeping things casual and fun', I don't want to hear what comes next. It's allegedly 'casual'. Get out. End of). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.