Always sabotaging a good relationship. once again..

[Anon333]

something is truly wrong with me....I go through the same pattern of doubt and ruining good relationships. Any time I meet a man who is willing to give me their love and time and energy its like I immediately write it off....

 

I dated someone on and off for maybe 5 to 6 months. Someone who I wasnt sure in the beginning about but grew feelings for. The beginning stage was a bit messy. At one point after he had try everything to be with me he finally walked away....So I asked him if we can try and see where it goes with us. The first week and he walked off with another girl in front of me. He said it was because he didnt think I wanted to be with him. So we broke up for awhile. Then he started texting me again and we started talking. I got in a bad car accident and he was the first one at my side. He was there for me and stayed over my house and was so good to me...

 

SO what do I do. As soon as I was back on my feet, we went out and i got wasted and made out with another dude. He broke up with me of course and I begged my way back, saying I would never do it again and that we were even and lets start fresh. SO we did. And things were amazing and awesome. and those voices in my head started doubting things again and once again I went out and got totally black out drunk and made out with someone. I ruined something that I really was starting to feel I could be falling in love with this person. Its like the closer I get with someone, the more doubts I have and the more I sabotage the relationship.

 

Now he doesnt trust me and doesnt want anything to do with me. I cant blame him. But I am totally heartbroken and would make it up to him if I ever could. I erased his number so I stop bothering him... I am so miserable and perplexed as to how I could ruin everything in such a stupid act I dont even remember....Is there any hope for me? More importantly, is there any hope for me and him or have I destroyed everything. Seems to me I lost a good thing out of horrible self destructive reasons, and Ive done it in the past and Ive regretted it.....I dont know what is wrong with me!

[beerock]

dont you see the same thing happening over and over? whats the same common equation? it happens when you drink.... control your drinking and/or seek professional help.

[Anon333]

i agree...i have a drinking problem. It runs in my family. The problem is that he drinks, but he can control it. He doesnt understand that it is a drinking problem. To him it is a trust problem. But both my mom and dad and sister are all serious alcoholics, so i can only assume I am. I know i cant blame it all on that... But when I told him I wanted to quit drinking, he told me he didnt want me to....I will be turning 30 next month and think I seriously need to quit drinking. Its just such a lifestyle change and I have tried so many times and then I just fall off the wagon and get black out drunk......Can I fix what Ive done with this guy? Should I give him space and work on not drinking and see if he comes around?

[beerock]

well you have to let him understand that your family has a problem with alcoholism.

 

me myself, well when i drink I end up wanting other things to keep the party going. So i know how hard it is.

[Anon333]

thanks...he doesnt understand and it doesnt make a difference....in fact.. it may be even more reason for him to think i am defective...but i really have been trying to quit....its hard for me when it is a social thing and everyone around me drinks....but sometimes i just go so overboard like i did the other night and alcohol ruines everything.....i dont want to lose my option to make the right decision......

[Lonewing]

I wish I could tell my ex what I told you.

 

The solution is:

 

DON'T DRINK!

 

At least, not until you have yourself under control.

[Anon333]

wish that was as easy said and done...if you are an alcoholic it is hard to quit. It would be common sense to quit something that makes you look like an idiot to most people around you, makes you lose control of your sensibility, destroys relationships in your life, makes your stomach have ulcers, makes you have 3 day hangovers, and makes you gain 15 pounds from binge drinking and coming home and eating.....Why do I go back to it when it has done nothing but destroy my life? because it is so interwoven into everything inside of me, socially, physically, mentally...I can go a week without drinking and feeling great about myself, but then once i have one drink I end up drinking every other bottle or shot that comes my way until Im blacked out......sometimes im okay when im keeping a good eye on myself.....ugh...

[Lonewing]

And this is why I myself have chosen to take the path of NO Alchohol period.

 

I am the DD and I take my role very seriously!!

[Singler]

After my first relationship of 11 years ended I drank to cope with the pain and I even drank before dates. My recent ex helped me to not drink everytime I would drink I was out of control. Now I am drinking again but not every night, I actually lost about 60 pounds in 4 months while drinking wine , had to stop drinking the red wine cause my tongue turned purple and moved to vodka.

 

I ended up in the hospital with an enlarged gallbladder duct and something wrong with the bile, I then began feeling weak in my muscles, so when drinking becomes part of your life in a negative way you need to stop! Go to therapy or AA, during this time don't contact the ex because he has given you chances time and time again and your words don't match your actions, the only thing you should do now is save yourself and then worry about where your relationship stands. Be strong, everything in life happens for a reason, its possible when your better that he will see a positive change but right now do this for you.