firstlove Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 Relapse is almost over and a step backward is a step forward. I feel that I get stronger after each relapses. Move on forward and fight. Today, I am trying to fully accept that he is gone forever and on the positive note I think that "there is Mr.Right out there for me". That Mr.Right will make me so happy. 10 times happier than being with my ex. He didn't want to be with me so there is nothing I can do about it. The only way is to let him go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewing Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Things that hurt, things that help pass the hurt, things that help the moving on... I saw my ex's facebook last night, along with a conversation between her and her second ex-husband's wife. She's happier right now than she has been in a long time - perhaps ever. The honeymoon of her new relationship is rich and sweet, for her; she has found a person who is absolutely wonderful for her. It helps the moving on process, in my case; there's nothing to wallow on. Yes, I am better with out her - or at least, she is better with out me. but then she is still the same person she was when she was with me, she has simply traded up as she can. I was once that exciting boy with her. Now I'm not. I had an appreciation dinner with the library group I volunteered with these last two years. They let me know a number of things that were really good to remember. My service to community, to others, before self is one component that sets me apart from others. I will find someone who appreciates me - and WANTS to keep me in their intimate life. But today I must pull myself up and prepare for this future that is similar to ramjet speed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstlove Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 17 days of NC. I have been licking my wounds and it's slowly healing.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustachio Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I feel your pain... its been about 2 weeks for me, but only 2 days of NC at the moment... She cheated multiple times, then after I tried everything, she ended up finding someone else. Its been a horrible breakup and something I really dont want, but it is out of my hands. I am working on accepting the fact that its ok and that she is moving on. I cant make any assumptions about the future. I know Im better off without her, but she was the biggest part of my life for almost 7 years and she was also my first love. I keep thinking of all the good things we had, and I just want it back. She is obviously able to get over me a lot easier as she already has someone else and all the contact we have had has been me calling her so far. I know Im better off without her, but I miss her and the extremely large portion of my life she occupied. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstlove Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 Yes you are better off without her in every ways. So start healing now and have your full heart back and to love once again. Give yourself a second chance and maybe it's even better than your first try. Today is my 19 days of NC. I am doing great. Lol the funnie thing is I had a dream about my ex every night. In those dreams, we mostly reconciled. In one dream, I told this girl that "yes we have a bad breakup but we are slowly working toward reconciliation and my ex also agreed." Last night dream, I chased my ex on barefoot because he ran from me after an argument. I couldn't reach him because he changed his phone numbers. I asked him for a second chance. But in reality, it's not true. I am moving on. The mild relapse has passed and I feel whole again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustachio Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Well sounds like you are doing good... I dont usually dream so Im lucky in that sense. 19 days, haha I cant even imagine 19 days of NC at this point, Im on day 4. Every day has been bad with the missing and all that, but usually ends with me feeling better at the end after I have talked to people and tried to focus on all the bad instead of the good and focus on my rational thoughts and not my emotions. Either way 19 days, congrats on that, just keep it up. Im at day 4 right now and at the very least im hoping to keep it up until at least she gets in contact with me, and hoping at that point im strong enough not to pick up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstlove Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 20 days... lalalalala I am doing great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillyk Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 You are doing great! keep it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstlove Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 Thanks you guys for the support. 21 Days of Nc and my b-day is coming up. There is a new guy. I have been talking to him a lot. My ex is on the back of my mind. I don't think about him that much. I feel healed but you never know. The new guy- he is so fun to talk to. He is coming down to see me on my b- day which is coming up in two weeks. He got me a present already. My ex is history. I am healing so goodddddd. I feel a lot happier now and I feel so carefree. I was with my ex for 2 and 1/2 years and I cried so much. My self-esteem was so low because he always put me down and never felt satisfied with me. I couldn't talk to him nor have fun with him. Now- I am healing and I feel so happy. I am better without him. I can't believe how I feel right now. He was my first love. I thought I was going to marry this guy. But I guess plans changed and life moves on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstlove Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 Well sounds like you are doing good... I dont usually dream so Im lucky in that sense. 19 days, haha I cant even imagine 19 days of NC at this point, Im on day 4. Every day has been bad with the missing and all that, but usually ends with me feeling better at the end after I have talked to people and tried to focus on all the bad instead of the good and focus on my rational thoughts and not my emotions. Either way 19 days, congrats on that, just keep it up. Im at day 4 right now and at the very least im hoping to keep it up until at least she gets in contact with me, and hoping at that point im strong enough not to pick up I used to be like you. I broke NC in a total of 2 times and this is my third try. Well in my situation, things are easier since my ex moved to another state permanently and not coming back. I am the person with out of sight = out of mind so it helps me a lot ever since he moved. When he was still here, wow I was a big mess. Lol. Like a zoombie walking around. Yes you feel weak now because everything is so fresh but as time goes on, your strength will build up. When me and my ex broke up, I thought I was going to die without him. I even thinking about suicide but I am glad I didn't do it because I am so happy now. Good luck. Stay strong and bite your lips through difficult time and try to maintain NC. You will heal. I feel like I am healing so good and you will be at my stage in a few months. Me and my ex broke up for 4 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustachio Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 Well im glad to hear you are doing well... I am still at the point where I cant even imagine going 21 days without her in my life at all. I am on day 6 right now... and its been a bad bad day. I really just want to pick up and call. You say you found someone else, is that helping? Ive been wondering whether I should start looking but I just dont know if im ready for it, or if i am just making excuses to hold myself back and hold onto something that isnt there anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstlove Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 Well im glad to hear you are doing well... I am still at the point where I cant even imagine going 21 days without her in my life at all. I am on day 6 right now... and its been a bad bad day. I really just want to pick up and call. You say you found someone else, is that helping? Ive been wondering whether I should start looking but I just dont know if im ready for it, or if i am just making excuses to hold myself back and hold onto something that isnt there anymore It's natural to feel that way at first but you will get exhausted after some time passes. I recently talked to this guy which was unexpected because I made it clear to others that I am not looking for a bf. I talked to him and we bonded. I realized we have chemistry between us. Meeting someone that you actually have feelings for, of course it's going to help. But here is the thing, I am slowly healing. I don't think about my ex that much even before I talked to that guy and I had a sense of self completion. If I happen to date him, then it's not going be a rebound. I guess at this point. It's ok for me to have a bf or not having a bf. I feel happy overall. I realized that I didn't treat my ex that good. Neither he is. We both were each other's first love. Life goes on. 22 days of NC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebik Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Now- I am healing and I feel so happy. I am better without him. I can't believe how I feel right now. He was my first love. I thought I was going to marry this guy. But I guess plans changed and life moves on. i think i might be in the same sort of situation as you! i have my good days and bad days but agree that life goes on! it does get easier with time! well done and all the best to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstlove Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 i think i might be in the same sort of situation as you! i have my good days and bad days but agree that life goes on! it does get easier with time! well done and all the best to you! Thanks. Through this process, it has helped me to become a stronger person. But here is the thing, you have to live a life of your own. Just continue to live your own life and make the best out of it. Yes, you cry at first. Cry if you have to but pick yourself up after each time. Each time, try to become a stronger person. Unexpected things will come even though you don't look for it. By then, it would be a nice and unexpected surprise. Don't you think so? Yes, you are sad now but at this point, you should.......focusing on healing and be on your own. Then true happiness will fall upon you when you find yourself and your own identity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustachio Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I agree fully. The main focus is not to dwell on what is past or what is lost (besides always remember it is their loss, not yours). And while it is inevitable that you will dwell at times, as you said, always move on and live your life. Besides, you might have never known what you were missing from yourself, and chances are you can only put yourself in a better place for yourself for your next relationship. Day 7 of NC, I made it a week! Yesterday was one of the hardest days so far, but today has been a lot better. Moving in the right direction and trying more to understand my own feelings is helping a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstlove Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 24 days... doing great and happy. I have been talking to the new guy. I think he is wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustachio Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 24 days... doing great and happy. I have been talking to the new guy. I think he is wonderful. 24 days, sounds great! glad its going well. I am back onto day 1 now. I got a call from the ex last night. It was the, "Im just calling to see how you are doing" call. I of course picked up, we ended up arguing for 20 minutes, mainly me telling her how awful she was to me, and hearing a few details that I didnt want to hear... like she is very happy with her new boyfriend and they are already looking for places to live together (its been 1 month!!). My emotions were up and down, but afterwards I resolved that I needed her out my life and I sent her a text saying "There is no place for you in my life right now. Please dont call me again." so we will see, last night was the true realization that there is no going back... ever. Today I am sad, but not sad because I felt like I was just being hurt while I waited to go back, today I am sad because I just miss that part of my life... it will pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talus Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Congrats. Doing better than me and it's been over a month for me. Heading out tonight and because this is a city/town where you always run into the person you don't want to, I might see her. I don't know how I'll handle it if I do. I have no intention of talking to her or ackowledging her. Not because of any bad feelings, I just like to keep it in my mind that she doesn't exist... If that makes sense at all. But seriously, congrats. Sounds like you're doing well. I hope things only get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstlove Posted October 4, 2009 Author Share Posted October 4, 2009 more than a month of NC. I stopped counting. I don't care anymore. I met a bunch of new people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstlove Posted October 8, 2009 Author Share Posted October 8, 2009 I am doing great right now. It has been more than a month of NC. My b-day is coming up and I am celebrating it with new friends. I am excited. I will be turning 20. A lot has happened ever since my ex left. A lot of positive changes and I am more in touch with my inner soul and care more deeply for others surrounding me. Yet in a way, I am still weak. Sometimes I am sad because it's simply a gloomy day. I don't think about my ex and he is no longer in my mind/life. I think things happen for a reason. To me, my ex left me to push me forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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