Rose21 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Just drop it Longdist, not everyone is capable of cheating. They just arn't. So if someone says they are fully capable, just trust them okay? I totaly 100% agree with you Lucious. I'm a Criminal Justice Major, and to me, cheating is up there with murder and crimes like arson. I am 100% sure I would not do these. Why? Because everytime I'm angry or pissed at someone, I don't go out and kill. Just like with cheating everytime I'm not satisfied or horny and he isn't here. When me and my boyfriend were on a 4 DAY break last summer, I had a huge oppurtunity and I didn't take it. It wouldn't even be called cheating because Tech I was single. I was at a friend's house, and an old flame was there. He saw me crying on the couch and came over to comfort me, wrapped his arms around me. I took shelter into his comfort, just as a friend. Than he said that he had always had feelings for me and he found me irresistible, he tried to nibble on his ear and I freaked out and jumped away form him. I told him that I can only be his friend, and that was it. I said that no matter what, even though I was technically single, my heart belonged to my boyfriend that I was seperated from. So you see, I was SINGLE but because my feelings were so strong for him, I didn't do anything with that guy. I've had crushes on guys, that I had no idea I'd be with, whom I had pined for MONTHS, even a year, and I would be alone with a guy and he'd make advances and I'd reject them just because I LIKED a guy. So if I can say no even when I have no attatchments to anyone, someone I don't even love, how could I EVER cheat or stray on someone that I love? I often have dreams of cheating on my boyfriend, and I wake up disgusted, and relieved it was just a dream. Oh, and me and my boyfriend are so loyal, that during those 4 days we were on a break, even though it was a short time, we were both still single. If he had found out I had even KISSED another guy during that time, he wouldn't of gotten back together to me. Even when we were apart, I still stayed committed to him. We've been together for 19 months and during the school year, aside from breaks and holidays I see him once a month. About one weekend every 2-4 weeks, and I although I get super horny, I NEVER think about cheating. I can't even find it in myself to masturbate because It's nothing compared to my boyfriend inside me. That's how loyal I am. I have very strong standards. No I'm not very religious, or mormon. Buut I will never cheat, and have never. I've never smoked a cigerette, touched a drug, or been drunk. I don't like to party, I maaybe go to a party once/twice a year and that's it. Same with my boyfriend. He's the same way. I hold very dear to my moral code, and being a Criminal Justice major helps. Link to comment
greywolf Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I agree with longdist on this one. I don't think I'd ever cheat, but I never know what circumstances I'll be in the future. I suppose it's because my life has taken so many twists and I have done things that I never even imagined doing in the past. Rose: You'd be surprised what people are capable of when pushed far enough. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I'm not saying I'd ever be in a situation where I'd be TEMPTED That's how serious I am. If I had to choose between shooting myself in the foot, vs. cheating on my boyfriend once, I'd choose the shooting myself in the foot. DEAD SERIOUS. Link to comment
greywolf Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I'm not saying I'd ever be in a situation where I'd be TEMPTED That's how serious I am. If I had to choose between shooting myself in the foot, vs. cheating on my boyfriend once, I'd choose the shooting myself in the foot. DEAD SERIOUS. I always feel a little skeptical when I see comments like this. How about killing yourself instead since you think cheating=murder? I suppose I just wonder why people become so defensive when it comes to cheating. They say they'll never cheat, and talk about how awful it is, and insist that they'll never do it, and that people that cheat are awful.... Ok, I get the point.... Link to comment
Rose21 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Very well than. Nothing further. I am a very prideful person, so when people question my reasoning or my actions, I get very defensive. Link to comment
Lucius Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I suppose I just wonder why people become so defensive when it comes to cheating. They say they'll never cheat, and talk about how awful it is, and insist that they'll never do it, and that people that cheat are awful.... Ironically, in my experience, it's quite the opposite. All I had to do was claim that I personally would never cheat and others became defensive. I also never once claimed that a person who cheated was in some way terrible; indeed, I even went out of my way to say that they were not. That people who cheat are human, neither good nor bad, just like me - just like the rest of us. It's the act that is terrible, not the person committing it. How that gets consistently interpreted as self-righteousness or defensiveness, I admit, baffles me no end. It does irritate a person somewhat, however, to be misjudged, misrepresented, and projected all over when making an individual response to an OP. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 If I had to choose between shooting myself in the foot, vs. cheating on my boyfriend once, I'd choose the shooting myself in the foot. DEAD SERIOUS.Bit extreme.. I notice all your post about it, you do tend t get so worked up about as if I was a murder case and then always puy your relationship as a perfect example, expecting everyone to follow it... Maybe with time, you're see it's not totally a black and white philosophy like you're stating. I was just like you are when I was 2 years younger than you........... I would even write it on my significant, now it's change and I don't have the same thoughts as when I was 18 or 19.... Link to comment
longdist Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Well, this thread has gotten away from the original poll that was intended. I'm not trying to offend anyone here. I respect the argument from Lucius. My point has been that absolute words such as always and never are poor choices when referring to the future, especially when the topic is a gray area (may not be as black and white as some people think). Rose, you sound very offended, and this was not my intention. Since we are bringing up personal experience, I will share mine. I too had the same view as you, and like you had numerous opportunities to cheat, while choosing not to. I would even distance myself from having friends that are girls because I didn't want them to get the wrong impression. Here is where the gray area of the story is. I began to become friends with a girl, while I was dating my ex. I had no intentions toward anything more. We'd talk quite often. I eventually found out her interest in me. She was an attractive, intelligent person. So, yes, I had feelings for her, whether they were associated with enjoying conversations or something more, I don't know. So, I told her that I felt something, but that I had a girlfriend whom I still cared about. I don't know why I told her that I felt anything. It was the truth and I didn't want to hurt the girl by lying. I realized later that this was obviously very poor judgment on my part, and hurt all parties involved by that response. Then we continued talking. I eventually ended the whole thing, relatively quickly, realizing that I was leading this other person on and that it was no longer appropriate for me to be talking to this person (sure as heck wasn't easy b/c this person's friendship meant a lot to me). During that period, I had questioned whether I could be interested in this other person and things with my ex (gf at the time) had not been going well. Regardless of the decision to finally end it with this other girl, I would say that continuing conversations with this person was emotionally cheating on my girlfriend, even if there was no physical contact in any way. Could I have responded differently? Of course, and I should have. I should have never mentioned any feelings to this girl. Some would say this isn't cheating because it wasn't physical, but I can tell you that cheating emotionally on someone can hurt just as much as physical cheating. The whole experience was not something I planned nor wanted. However, circumstances I did not predict occurred and I did not know how to respond. I chose a poor response. It could have been worse and it could have been better. Can I can compare my choices with choosing murder, rape, or pedophilia. No, I think the choice involved was substantially different, but maybe that's just my opinion. Do I regret what happened. Heck yes. I don't want to begin telling you what destruction the whole experience brought upon my ex, the other girl, and me. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 longdist you were just telling the girl how you feel but cut it on time. That can happen, it ain't that bad...As far as your ex getting so worked up over it, she exaggerated. You did not betrayed her, it was only the one time misjudgement. You didn't slipped... Link to comment
melrich Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I don't think I'd ever cheat, but I never know what circumstances I'll be in the future. I don't agree. I think your value set either allows you to contemplate it or it doesn't. Now you can dream up circumstances "But if someone put a gun to your head....." or you can accept this discussion is in the normal course of everyday life. If you accept the latter then it goes to your value set. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I was just trying to get the point accross. And Yea wutever, I'm not 18, or 19. I'm 20. And my relationship isn't perfect, I was only using it as my current example. Sure, I've thought about other men, like day dreaming and whatnot, but I could never think of myself cheating or betraying my boyfriend. sometimes I think of what it would be like to be with a different man completely, but those are just thoughts. I don't fantasize about anyone in particular, that would feel wrong to me. Although as long as you don't act out on those thoughts, they are perfectly normal and fine. I love my boyfriend with all my heart, and I can't imagine being with anyone other but him. He satisfies me; my mind, body, and soul. What more can you ask for? Of course we bicker, I get emotional and make a big deal out of silly things, but that's life. NO relationship is perfect or easy, if it was it wouldn't be very great would it? Not that I like to fight, I really don't and am a non-confronational person, you need to have someone to communicate your desires to, debate a little bit, disagree and connect with on a deeper level. If you just become the same person and agree on anything and everything and your minds become one, where is the fun in that? You'd be dating yourself. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Good for you. And your not a young one either, so longdist can't use the "i used to think that when I was young too" on you. Link to comment
SouthernSon Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Good for you. And your not a young one either, so longdist can't use the "i used to think that when I was young too" on you. I read his posts and completely disagree with him; let's just leave it at that. I have read your posts and feel the same way you do. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Guess everyone has there own points. It's bad though if one tries persuading someone into their ideas or repeating their views over and over again as if to say ''That's how it should be, listen up'' when we already get the point, we know how you feel about certain matters but you don't have to constantly bring it up or act defensive when others think differently....... Link to comment
longdist Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Good for you. And your not a young one either, so longdist can't use the "i used to think that when I was young too" on you. I think you had mistaken my quote for someone else's: Rose, you sound very offended, and this was not my intention. Since we are bringing up personal experience, I will share mine. I too had the same view as you, and like you had numerous opportunities to cheat, while choosing not to. You could be 60 and that wouldn't have changed my response. Anyhow, I digress on the topic. It's all semantics anyhow. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Female - no Link to comment
Anonymos Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 FEMALE.......shamefully......YES. Link to comment
ohemgee Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I officially don't trust females. Link to comment
orangesoda Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 heh, why did you trust them in the first place? Bottomline, women are just as bad (and good) as men. If you're a guy and somehow think women are the more gentle, more faithful sex, then I've got some land in Florida for sale. Ask any private investigator or divorce lawyer, you'll get some pretty eye-opening stories. Link to comment
Tetsuo_Shima Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 MALE- NO. Cheaters will get only one thing from me. A walk to the door. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.