Infidelity vs Violent past, which one is still consider worth dating??

[SapphireNoir10]

Absoloutley. In my case. It was that I'd never had a proper relationship before. So In a way I thought 'Oh this must be how it is' Stupid, I know! But I wouldnt go back and change it because Im stronger for it, and I wont make the same mistakes and I can help others. I understand what your saying about enabling because If the person isnt there, the abuser can't abuse. I dont think its deliberate enabling however.

[cichlid]

Both are forms of abuse in a way and should be avoided. 'nough said!

[odile]

Absoloutley. In my case. It was that I'd never had a proper relationship before. So In a way I thought 'Oh this must be how it is' Stupid, I know! But I wouldnt go back and change it because Im stronger for it, and I wont make the same mistakes and I can help others. I understand what your saying about enabling because If the person isnt there, the abuser can't abuse. I dont think its deliberate enabling however.

 

Yeah, but consciously and deliberately enabling abuse would be classified as masochism, which is another thing entirely!

[yeawutever]

Yeah, but consciously and deliberately enabling abuse would be classified as masochism, which is another thing entirely!

Masochism is more likely those few individuals that actually enjoy being abused and treated horrible. According to them, the more the better (their distorted thinking)Kind of like an example of a woman on a talk show in where the husband physically abuses her and she keeps saying that he does that as a way to show her how much he loves her. In that case there's something wrong with her as she seems happy about it.

[annie24]

yes, i feel exactly the same way. cheating - if it was a long time ago, if they felt really bad about it and learned and grew from the experience, then ok. if it's a pattern, no thanks. violence? no thank you.

[arcadefire]

To choose risking your health to HIV and STDs... no way would I ever give a cheater another glance. My ex cheated on me, and when I found out, I immediately dumped him and got tested. Not an experience I want to go through again.

 

As for abusers, they are in the same boat. They're all mentally ill to place their SO's health in danger. It's sick.