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I don't know what to think...I'm sorta confused right now.


CoCo2009

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I did it and he said yes...but WHY DIDN'T HE ASK?! So weird..hmmmm I said "what are you doing this weekend, do you work?" and he said I work until 3pm. Then I said "do you want me to drive out and see you?" and he said yes...that was it.

 

Good for you for asking, you took the initiative. Now you will see him this week. Is there firm plans for date and time (even though you are driving out to see him)?

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Good for you for asking, you took the initiative. Now you will see him this week. Is there firm plans for date and time (even though you are driving out to see him)?

 

He said he will know what time for sure tomorrow. But we will be going out on Saturday.

 

 

Hersmudders I guess I thought that he should ask because I asked last time...maybe not..I could be wrong.

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I think given that he is stressed, the not asking out thing isn't such a worry.

 

Do you guys talk over the phone? I just think AIM is a difficult way to discuss real issues / concerns. It is great that he shared his worries with you though - to me this is a sign of trust and emotional connection (even in the early stages of it).

 

As for the advice you gave - the best thing to do is listen and reflect and it sounds like that is what you did. What people want when they're stressed is for someone to understand that, to show their understanding (by reflecting back what they said) and to be supportive of that... and then maybe after they have had a chance to vent, to assist THEM in problem solving the situation... just don't rush to solutions and reassurance... validated the concerns and then see how the person is travelling... Ooops psych Ammy is coming out here (I'm an intern psychotherapist).

 

Ammy

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