Getting back together! What if?

[fantasia2004]

Hello all,

 

I ask this as many of you hopefuls too have,

 

Did any of you get back together with your exes after all the dust cleared despite having the door closed in your faces or they are dating other people and saying, move on, get a life, get lost, -well you get the idea??????????

 

Has it worked to your advantage?

 

I'm just wondering.........

[lnxfrkk]

Hi,

 

No hope for me.Myex told me to forget about her and to move on with my life.Doesn't talk to me like a riend.Gives me the cold shoulder, so I gave up and just starting after 3 months realizing that I need to move on.

[pip]

Sorry to post bad news, but I've also not had any luck in getting my ex back. Boy, I've tried *so* hard, too. I've tried everything. But there came a point when I realised I'm hurting myself thinking about him, and I knew I had to move on. It's tough, but sometimes you've just got to forget them.

[Exocet]

Well I havent got any comfirmation from her, she keeps telling me she's thinking about it. I'm already prepared for a negative answer. So....yeah, as the saying goes there's no chance in hell of us getting back together.

[SteveNaive]

I say: "I want to believe!" Yet I have never been proven right. I really wish I would have the chance one day to forgive someone and take her back out of deep and true love. Not happened so far. I am still in a situation like this though. She came up three weeks ago and said she wanted to be back with me. Later she said she regretted that as soon as she had said it. A week later she turned around and went of with her new guy again. We still are talking, but all I ever seem to do is annoy her...but I do not want to give up hope that life is good...Should I be successful I'll let you know...

[kayc73]

Yeah... Fantasia, I gat back with me ex after I thought that there was no chance! We had been talking to each other occasionally after we broke up then one night out on the town he say me with another male friend of mine and the next day called me and spilt the beans that he wanted to give it another go!!!

But wait... theres more!!! After three months of trying, even though we got along like a house on fire, he broke up with me for a 2nd time. His reason was that he couldn't give me what I wanted!!!

So just a word of advise, if he does happen to come back to you, make sure its for all the right reasons and not just because his lonely!!

Not good news... but hope it helps!

[neallo82288]

There is hope, but you need to quit waiting and move on because most of the time it takes months even years for them to even have the nerves to contact again. Just last night, I found out that my most recent ex has been asking about me weekly ( I am very good friends with her mom). But my problem remains that she is with her husband, but that is a long story just to tell you she was separated when we went out. I do not want her back but sometimes I think of her and what we had and desire it again. Well, enough about me.

 

You just have to play the game and see where it takes you. There is hope, but like I said it takes time and thye will see the light. You must move on and give up all hope because there is no telling how long they will take to miss you. Just move on and give up hope and live you life to the fullest and when they contact you let them control what contact there is.

 

neallo

[kleptoz28]

I got back together with my ex, but we broke up again because we rushed back into things too soon. Currently in the middle of the second break, but she tells me she still loves me and I've got a feeling that eventually we'll be together again.

[mahlina]

Yeah, I have, but once the relationship's broken, it's almost irreversible. I think that for me, it was more of an 'illusion.' I was more in love with who he was, in the beginning of our relationship, rather than who he was towards the end. I think that after being separated for a while, couples grow apart. So, the person that they once loved, is not the same person that they love now. It's just like holding onto hope, and fearing that our own intuition failed us. It's tough to look past the old drama. And, when you do give it a second try, chances are, those little pet peeves and such, will resurface. That's why for me, 2nd chances most often do not work. I guess I should really tell myself: If it didn't work the first time, what makes me think that it will work out the 2nd time around? Besides, after being separated for a while, the passion dies out too, and the chemistry's just not the same....

[spiderman_56]

humm ..mahlina the tough love mistress ... i think it depends on each person .. that's true logic says if it fails once it has more chances to fail than work out ..that's what the 'logical brain' tells u but the truth is it's not the same situation , it's not the same u , and it's not the 'same' partner ..either u have grown apart or u have grown in someway that it's the best that comes out of u (like my ex luvs watchin movies and at the beginnin i never watched movies , even hated the idea of stayin at home , but now it's somethin that i really enjoy , am i the same guy as we started datin ? no ..did i change . i like smth that she liked probably still does or maybe she doesn't like it as much as b4 and preferred goin out like i used to)... it depends on everybody character and how that relationship was (did they reaallly loved each other ?!?)

 

in my case the truth is that with my gf/ex/friend/whatever i don't know which term applies any longer of 2 yrs we had 3 major breakups..but all of that resumed in 2 much luv goin the wrong way ..i needed my space she wanted more , didn't want to 'give in', that created trouble , couldn't stand her anymore, mistreated her , hated her family matters , she hated me stoppin beein emotional ... there were all the good reasons to dump/hate each other 4 life and really no damn reason why we would be 2gether (that's what the outside world saw) , our respective families r gettin bored at it and geez i don't even want to know what they think .... but in all of that if that's real love (i mean THE) it will stand tall .... we were fiancees (bought the ring in a candy machine it's more than that) ..she trashed it and told me 'we would never ever get back 2gether' ...but she got a brand new one from the same candy machine and can't stand spending a day without me and i miss her terribly sometimes when she's not there (can't say all the times cuz i'm a guy ) ..so i guess it all depends ....

[EEECafe]

Let me see here. When someone rejects you "all of a sudden", it makes you curious because they have never done that before. Every relationship eventually becomes dull and boring, so when the other person wants to make that decision w/o having the courage to confront you with a respectable break up conversation, just agree with them and move on. They'll wonder why you didn't act needy and will definitely be surprised by your "no reaction" to her actions. It's just more motivation to go out there in the world and become successful and a better person because I'm sure when people are in relationships, sometimes they don't see their own flaws until they are outside looking in. So when someone doesn't desire your company, let your actions speak louder than your words, and show them that they didn't close the door on you. They just opened the doors and windows to other opportunities.

[ziggystar]

look nobody is at fault in a relationship failed. you can try to point the finger at the other person, but deep down inside most people think that they are a failure. it's a natural feeling, but don't believe it. it's dysfunction to feel that way. by feeling that way we carry it on to the next relationship and it will undermine that one. stop chasing you exes, even if it just having hope and carry on with life to get yourself mentally, emotionally and physically healthy. if it was meant to be, they have to figure out stuff with themselves and you shouldn't force that or manipulate that. you can, but you will unsure and not trusting, because the question would be, "what if i didn't manipulate them, would they have come back?" that just cause more grief. and if you should get back together, i think slow and sure is the way to go. jumping right in, leaves no room to correct what went wrong in the first place. and ultimately is it really out of love that you want them back or is it to complete yourself and fill the hole and make your self feel worthy? just remember, we're all worthy and complete by ourselves and have choices, so do you exes, so let them choose. we'll be okay regardless.