Singler Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 Well my ex texted me that his car got hit, I called him because I was worried but it turns out he was safe and not in the car. And that was it. Why the hell did he have to text me to tell me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Mine texted me and said his car got broken into, I responded "That Sucks" He texted you b/c he knows that you care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 Well damn then that just proves that he is using me as an emotional crutch, so he does not look like a sicko to text her but I am so done with him, my dad even said he saw a change in him since memorial day and daddy has been here since day 1!!!! F you jg!!!! That is for my ex he deserves it , my dad said I was prob the rebound of his ex of almost 14 years ..... f that now rebound elsewhewre jg .... you and ur 3 inches.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 Thank the lord I wrote that on the board instead of in a text to him.... that was totally a drunk post, I'm back to day 1 of nc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillyLooWho Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Anger can be healthy sometimes. Use it for good. It will help you stay away from him...hopefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 Yeah I have been realizing a lot of things, he is a chaser and I noticed that he loves the thrill of the chase, a challenge and when he is pursued he backs off. There was a time he and his 3 kids came to a family picnic and his daughter wanted to ride on a pony but they said she was too overweight and she was crying and everone but him was telling her its ok, hugging her,etc and I had to tell him to hug and hold her. There was a lot about him that I did not like. He did not like to talk about us, he said they were big discussions. There was one time we were at a bar, he saw a girl there he knew he left me at the table alone with people I did not even know to talk to her after while he came to get me and did not pull me to his side or introduce me. Another time at the bar, I drove an hour and a half to go to see him and I was smoking throught the car ride and didn't know chew gum, I was about to but as we were talking he said wooooooooooooow omg what did you eat, I never felt so bad before I left, and then was so tired. To drive back home I went to his house he wanted to break up with me but we talked it out and he said the next time.we break up its for good, and well that was no lie because a month later we were done. At this point I am just telling myself that he is with someone knew not really knowing of their status, but its the only way I can move on. I am not going to lie I do have hope but I guess that is the only way for me to cope. I am not going to blame myself for wanting all or nothing when he said he wants to see other people also eve though my calls pushed him further away but nothing I done could have prevented him from running to this divorced woman who called him to fix her broken down car. He always said that when people break up they should not talk or keep in contact with eachothers family because its over. Today he texted my sister and probably called her on his break to talk about her pregnancy. Is it fair to me that he still wants to be friends with her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillyLooWho Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Singler, what an awesome thing to do - remind ourselves of the BAD qualities of our exs. Thinking about those things can really change your mind about how you feel. That was kind of mean to say to you after you drove so far to see him. My ex was a huge procrastinator, a complete slob, kind of arrogant sometimes, and mentally unable to help and protect me in a crisis. Yeah, that helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 Lol, yeah even my ex admitted to some mistakes but his pain is still there so he needas to heal. I feel angry and hurt that the only reason I would call him is to argue but the argument thing is something, I learned that I have to understand that sometimes when in the relationship you have to realize the before and after of an argument. When we used to break up we never dealt with the issues why we were doing it. And if he needs to be with someone else to realize the realities of a relationship the he should go for it like he is. His ex would cheat when they got into the this type of situation, he never learned the true aspects of a relationship, not meaning the argiung but the fact when there is an issue you need to talk about it to fix it, he liked to skip that part and go back into the relationship with her and again myself. He needs to grow, if we are meant to be we will be until then I am going to find myself and date. On ways I feel bad he hasn't learned this yet, but to each his own. I can't worry about him or who he is now seeing cause it will only set me back, it still hurts and I'm greiving but its the only way for me to really change my wrongs. This site helped me the second time around.... thank you all.... we are in pain in our stages fighting to decide what we decide is right while listening to the experience of others.... bless us all and we will make it to the next relationship or starting new (key term) with our exes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 So he calls this morning to ask me about my sisters baby registry. I said doot get her a gift, we are not together there is no point he said but I want to. We did some catching up, he then said he is going out to the movies with his son and the new girl and her kids. He told me she calls in the morning and night, they are not official haven't even kissed. she has plenty options but she chooses to call him and go out with him so he knows that something is developing but they are taking it slow. I then said I don't think we should speak anymore I don't want to be involved with this and he asked are you going to change your number? I said at this point i have no reason to. He also asked if I was seeing the guy i was seeing before him. i ended the convo and said ok well good luck and good bye. he said we'll talk later. I just said bye. I am not going to be hurt anymore by him, he has me wondering if I was his rebound, he did date others before me but that is how I am feeling now. He also said he would like to catch up but now right now because he does not want to give me or her the wrong idea. In my head I was * * * is he telling me all this for? I just stayed calm throughout the convo and showed him that I was moving on. Let him be the brady bunch with this woman whom he said after her divorce had a rebound and they would not be rebounding. ahhhhhhhhh........I am focused on moving on but still wonder why this convo happened. advice/comments? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowFox Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I think your instinct to just distance yourself from him is the right one. I personally wouldn't take any further phone calls from him but that is just me. His intentions aren't really as important as how his actions are making you feel. Focus on that rather than trying to understand him. We could all speculate until the cows come home, but what really matters is that you are no longer with him, and therefore, what he does in his life should not concern you. If talking to him is upsetting to you, you should just not take his calls anymore so that you can heal and move forward. I would not entertain an ex who wanted to sit around talking to me about their new relationship and dating experiences personally. I would find it offensive. But I am the type who doesn't keep exes as friends. Even if I did, I don't think I would feel comfortable having those types of conversations with an ex until much, much more time had passed. Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xx_Kerry_xx Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Hi Singler. I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if I'm repeating something or I've missed something. It seems to be like he's playing the reverse psychology game. Perhaps he's been reading one of those 'How to Get Your Ex Back' ebooks that you find on the net. I've read those books, and without exception they are all telling you that to get your ex back you need to play reverse psychology games with them, for example, don't contact them and tell them you love them, start dating again and make sure your ex knows about it. Make them see that you don't need them etc and they will come running back to you. Is this possibly what he's doing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 No he dumped me because of arguements and he is now dating again, and the one he has his eyes on has a lot in common, kids, divorce, etc. So as hard as it is I have no choice but to move the hell on. I am 75% there.... Sad to know that he already had his kids met her and her kids, its kinda strange that someone would introduce date after date to the kids, they are so young. But I love the fact that after I said we have no reason to talk again that he would still say ttyl. So I feel like I have the control somehow over my own feelings, and I will not answer his call if and when he does call or contact me. One question though if he sends a gift to my apartment for my sisters baby do I accept or should I return to sender? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 Well I called him this morning on the way to an interview running late, the tomtom gps was going crazy in downtown nyc cause of all the buildings, called about 10 people and asked about 5 on the way to 1 police plaza, had no choice but to call him or risk my appointment into the nypd, he helped stayed on the phone until I got into a parking garage. He asked me of my dating status and I told him his tone changed he seemed down, I continued to be the cheery me. He offered. To give me packing tape when I said I ran out. I met him by his job when I was done it was akward when I said ok bye he stood there. It was quite a few odd seconds where he did not say anything, I then blurted out I was wondering if you'd like to meet up for a drink sometime before my sister gives birth, he said probably I would like to do that ill give you a call later than he got a call on his cell and then said give me a call later. I had a date tonight so I texted him id call him tomorrow, he said fine good luck with the tape and tty. He is so hot and cold, don't know what my next move should be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 well we are going out tonight for drinks. i know it means nothing but he could have said no.... he is going to call me later to arrange it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond78 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 well we are going out tonight for drinks. i know it means nothing but he could have said no.... he is going to call me later to arrange it. He is not ready to leave you completely. Be careful with this as it can lead to a see-saw/ back and forth effect from him. Have fun tonight and remember to keep it light and non-serious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 Well he did call even b4 he got work he said he woukd call me later at work so .... he was like so are we still going out tonight? I said yeah sure, we taqlked about if I shoukld go in my car or if he should pick me up, he will pick me up so I don't lose my parking spot, gonna pretned its a first date with someone I don't know so I don't trip....then I won't call and see if he takes lead its the only way. Wish me luck and ill let you all know how it goes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond78 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Well he did call even b4 he got work he said he woukd call me later at work so .... he was like so are we still going out tonight? I said yeah sure, we taqlked about if I shoukld go in my car or if he should pick me up, he will pick me up so I don't lose my parking spot, gonna pretned its a first date with someone I don't know so I don't trip....then I won't call and see if he takes lead its the only way. Wish me luck and ill let you all know how it goes! Sounds like you are in the right state of mind and I like how you are basically going to let him take the lead and pursue afterwards... come back with all the juicy details!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 Ok so I'm back we had a good time laughed he asked about who I was seeing, and asked me what my school schedule was like and then asked me out for Monday night, I was so damn shocked I tried to play cool, practically almost cried and he said well if your free for Monday night id like to go out..... omg...... nothing serious yet but seems like a start!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
actzipild Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Good for you Singler. Things indeed are brightening up. Just remember to take it slow, let him chase you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 He just texted me good night, he is chasing!! Omg I cannot believe it, he answered my prayers! Do I am gonna text good nite and ill let you know about Monday.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 And he insisted on going to our place!!!!! No hugs or kisses though.... if he tried I did not notice but I don't know what to say or do.... I am actually scared!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 Well, I guess it was a false alarm because he texted me this morning saying that his mom is going out monday night and cant watch his kids and to call him later this week. So he called when I did not respond and said I saw that look on your face of shock when i asked you to go out monday and I don't want to confuse you since your seeing other people, we are only going out as friends, enjoying eachother and having a beer with no expectations. I don't want you to think we are going to restart again. I was damn shocked about this and I said ok. I am confused, please help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond78 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Well, I guess it was a false alarm because he texted me this morning saying that his mom is going out monday night and cant watch his kids and to call him later this week. So he called when I did not respond and said I saw that look on your face of shock when i asked you to go out monday and I don't want to confuse you since your seeing other people, we are only going out as friends, enjoying eachother and having a beer with no expectations. I don't want you to think we are going to restart again. I was damn shocked about this and I said ok. I am confused, please help! Dang...alot of the gettingbacktogethers on this forum are having the same issue. The Ex's are pursuing, but trying to keep the friendship limitations. If he made that comment about not restarting then I wouldn't go...It's completely unfair to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 yeah but he is so hot and cold, he says one thing does another, I am fine with going out with him since I am dating othere but I'll see what happens. He was so quick to ask for another outing that I think when he say my face he did not want to put it on the table that he is feeling me out, but I could be completely wrong about it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singler Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 i am just going to see if he gives me a call, that's all that I can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.