Seducing someone's girlfriend or boyfriend

[Mimori]

One, seducing someone’s boyfriends and girlfriend would be to support cheating. Which is exactly why it’s looked at as a big no no. Whose to say you’d be better suited for this person? To make them happier? We all nag to let off some steam, but that doesn’t give you any right to go in and use that vulnerable moment to take advantage of them.

 

No one may be forcing them away. But you’re starting the connection to the person based on manipulation and deceiving them, to win them over. Your playing with their emotions and pulling them between you, and the person they're dating. You’ve heard the complaints, so you show them what they’re lacking. You booster their ego and flirt when they're down…(Which is playing on those vulnerable moments).

 

It doesn’t make it any more acceptable with the things you listed. It shows you have no respect for the person they’re dating and only partial respect for the person your aiming for. (Partially because you’re manipulating situations to pull them away from their significant other… .

 

A lot of “friends” do this today. They plant doubt and second thoughts for the person they care for, so that they have a better chance of being the one they date. They show up when they’re sad, or insecure… So they don’t have to run to their significant other and feel clingy or depressive.

 

I honestly believe it shows more respect to not try to sabotage the relationship and “steal” someone away. But to be there for them as a friend, keeping your feelings aside, until a more appropriate time. (If that ever appears)…

 

If a person is unhappy in a relationship… They should leave their own accord, you’d be more then less a rebound if they switched between partners.

 

In all honestly. If you could steal them away. Whose to say someone else won’t just come up and steal them from you? It obviously shows that that person is insecure and unsure about what they feel they need.

[Mimori]

One, seducing someone’s boyfriends and girlfriend would be to support cheating. Which is exactly why it’s looked at as a big no no. Whose to say you’d be better suited for this person? To make them happier? We all nag to let off some steam, but that doesn’t give you any right to go in and use that vulnerable moment to take advantage of them.

 

No one may be forcing them away. But you’re starting the connection to the person based on manipulation and deceiving them, to win them over. Your playing with their emotions and pulling them between you, and the person they're dating. You’ve heard the complaints, so you show them what they’re lacking. You booster their ego and flirt when they're down…(Which is playing on those vulnerable moments).

 

It doesn’t make it any more acceptable with the things you listed. It shows you have no respect for the person they’re dating and only partial respect for the person your aiming for. (Partially because you’re manipulating situations to pull them away from their significant other… .

 

A lot of “friends” do this today. They plant doubt and second thoughts for the person they care for, so that they have a better chance of being the one they date. They show up when they’re sad, or insecure… So they don’t have to run to their significant other and feel clingy or depressive.

 

I honestly believe it shows more respect to not try to sabotage the relationship and “steal” someone away. But to be there for them as a friend, keeping your feelings aside, until a more appropriate time. (If that ever appears)…

 

If a person is unhappy in a relationship… They should leave their own accord, you’d be more then less a rebound if they switched between partners.

 

In all honestly. If you could steal them away. Whose to say someone else won’t just come up and steal them from you? It obviously shows that that person is insecure and unsure about what they feel they need.

[Imprecision]

I've actually talked this topic over with my friends. The consensus is: There's nothing wrong with going after a taken girl, as long as the girl is not with your friend.

 

Some people say, "How can you ever trust her, knowing the way she came to be with you? She'll eventually leave you for another." Experience proves otherwise. One of my friends has lived together with his girlfriend for five years already. It is the most stable, long-lasting relationship within our circle. However, his relationship began with him stealing a taken girl.

 

When a man loves a woman, he does not care about her past. If she lived a life of sin, he forgives her. Actually, "forgive" is the wrong word, because that suggests he is in a position to forgive. Instead, all he knows is that he loves her, and that she is the woman for him. And now if this girl is taken, all he knows is that he can provide better for her.

 

This is the same as if there were a custody battle, and you lost. Even though your spouse might be able to provide a better material life for your child, you know that she cannot provide the type of love your child needs. Therefore, violating every legal principle, you kidnap your child from her, henceforth, by hiding your name and leaving society, to live a life of simple hermit-like exile.

 

For the love of a good woman, both life and death are little to give. Promised to one, in the laws of men; destined for another, by the hands of Heaven - the spirits exchange the unhappiness of dead marriages for the happiness of living lovers. What does a man care about social censure? Or so-called hurt feelings? A twist of fate must seize this woman of peerless beauty. Her skin is as white as cream - like jade, cool to the touch, and smooth like ivory; her is hair as black as jet - like silk, soft to hold, yet dark like the night. Paper fan and brazen mirror, rice powder and dark eyeliner - the spartan usages of a mature woman. Yet her face, pure like the water, evokes an air of wistful resignation. And her lips, though smiling, elicit men's pity.

 

Her movement pretends a girlish carefree, yet her laughs fall down like sighs - Beautiful women have lives as thin as paper. Innocent, despite the experience of sorrows, and pure, despite a history of sin - She is hated by other women. A good man, moved by this beauty, must therefore take her by her hand and lead her to happiness. He must make her his own and teach her the meaning of love. This, because a beautiful woman should never be unhappy. And this, because a good man wants nothing but the privilege of serving his woman. Discarding the world's inveterate enmity, covering their tracks and hiding their names, they build for themselves a nest of private happiness. The blessings of Heaven belong to those who know, "Happiness is where you find it."

 

On a small farm, in a small town, with two sons and one daughter - What will they say to their daughter, when she asks, "Mommy and daddy, how did you first meet?" Well, they will simply reply, "Mommy and daddy were once upon a time very unhappy. But then the strands of our fates crossed each other. In that moment - brief like the passing of a shooting star, when it lights up the dark night with a shimmer and a flash - we held onto each other. And now, to live together this life in happiness. Now this, because the meaning of life is to live with the person you love."

 

The daughter looks out the window. She begins to daydream. Is she thinking about her mom and dad when they must have been young? Or is she thinking of her future true love, who will one day enter her tiny village and make her his own? But even this tiny village girl knows how to treasure happiness. And so should we.

[drewciouS281]

I will admit Tarken your very good with your words but to me it still would not justify the act. I understand the point of the thread is for discussion so im just stating my opinion as if someone were to actually consider commiting this act so dont take it personal. No matter how you look at it, your playing with fire on a subject like this. I assume your the one wanting someone elses girfriend and you feel your a better match than her current partner correct? Go ahead and go for it man but Karma is a biatch and will bite you in the butt! Its the persons choice of who they want to be with whether its a bad match or not. Its not your position to take what you want because you feel you can provide better. What if they dont want better and are satisfied with what thier partner is giving them?

 

Not trying to judge but this is snake like behavior and i prefer to take a crowbar to ones face if they even thought of doing this to me. It is not right to sabatoge ones relationship because of what you want! If the girl did choose you in the end, i gurantee it wont last because if she did it to her ex, she can very well do it to you. All your jibber jabber about justifying why this is ok is a bunch of crap and your in for a rude awakening. I

 

dont understand how someone can fall in love with someone that was never thiers to begin with. To me, establishing love is having a lasting, intimate, communicative one on one relationship with someone. How can someone fall in love with someone that is not interested in you in the same way or is giving that love to someone else? Who ever it is that you are persuing, if she gives in, well she is just as screwed up as you are and if her boyfriend is your friend, i would be disgusted to have even considered you one and you will get what you deserve.There are so many fish in the sea. Why go after one that is already caught to be stuck with leftovers?

 

i apologize mods in advance if this is crossing the line but i just cant stand people who try to justify something like this. When it all comes down to it its one word RESPECT! Many men out in the world just want a piece of ass and they dont care who they cross or how they get it, As long as they get it. Im one of those that believe you earn the woman you want by hard work and just letting fate take its course but with both parties being single, not taken and being a battle of who gets who. This isnt the stone ages where cave men take what they want no matter who they belong too. Grow up!

 

I have met many women in my days but the first thing i make sure of is if they are single or not. If they are not, NEXT!! If my girl chose to be with someone else over me, than so be it. I deserve better anyway but that still doesnt give the right for another male to purposely try to sabatoge my relationship. Whether my girl was to leave me for someone else or not, if i knew who the guy was that deliberatly had this intention from the start, i promise that he will not be as attractive when his teeth meet the curb!

[lostandhurt]

It is strange that many cheaters use the same "logic" when they justify their selfish actions.

I wonder if I see a guy driving a Corvette that would be happeir with me and I took it from him when he wasn't looking if the judge would buy some of the justifications presented here?

 

Lost

[Tarkan]

One, seducing someone’s boyfriends and girlfriend would be to support cheating.

 

Saying it supports cheating would be narrowminded because cheating invloves lying and hiding. If you break up BEFORE anything happens it's ok. Cheating implies you are still with that person. It's all up to the person who is still in the relationship to break up before anything happens.

 

In the end, only that person can make the choice. Like many others pointed out, there is no one to force you.

 

I'm against cheating and I will never support that ideal. My thread was more about what happens when you have feelings for a person already in a relationship. Not like if it was some kind of game where you make people suffer just for the fun of it.

 

I'll have to reread my threads more often because it seems I get misinterpreted alot

 

Whose to say you’d be better suited for this person? To make them happier? We all nag to let off some steam, but that doesn’t give you any right to go in and use that vulnerable moment to take advantage of them.

 

Only that other person I love would be able to choose. Like I said, I can't choose for her. If that person still likes her current friend more I guess that's ok. If the person leaves for me it would say something no ? Why would that person leave in the first place then ?

 

But you are right on one point: taking advantage of someone is bad. But remember, we're talking about a case where real feelings are involved. Also, if the person you are with has a strong willpower, she'll definitely stay with you to work on eventual relationshipproblems.

 

What does it say about someone that would be running away at the sight of the very first problem ? Wouldn't you be happy with someone who would actually work on your relationship ?

[HouseKitten]

"I wonder if I see a guy driving a Corvette that would be happeir with me and I took it from him when he wasn't looking if the judge would buy some of the justifications presented here?"

 

No, because you still can't compare falling for someone who is with someone else and flirting with them and trying to show them that you could be a better partner than their current one, to stealing someone else's actual property.

 

If a girl's not interested in you, or if she really loves her man then she won't be tempted away from her boyfriend. The car gets no say in you stealing it and can't choose either way if it gets to stay or go. It's not a good comparison - people are not objects with no free will! Just because you decide to make an effort to go for some who's in a relationship, it's no guarantee that they won't simply shoot you down or ignore you. Try all you want, they can say no, since they belong to themselves.

[Tarkan]

I've actually talked this topic over with my friends. The consensus is: There's nothing wrong with going after a taken girl, as long as the girl is not with your friend.

 

I'm glad you talked about it with your friends. I wouldn't take a friends girlfriend aswell because the friendship is more important to my eyes.

 

I assume your the one wanting someone elses girfriend and you feel your a better match than her current partner correct?

 

Nah I ain't in love with anymore at the moment. To be honest, I was just sitting on the toilet when the idea came up to me. I don't know why and how but I had to make a thread about it ^^

[Imprecision]

It is strange that many cheaters use the same "logic" when they justify their selfish actions.

I wonder if I see a guy driving a Corvette that would be happeir with me and I took it from him when he wasn't looking if the judge would buy some of the justifications presented here?

 

Lost

 

Well, if the Corvette could feel happiness...

 

The love of a woman is freely given. A gentleman's conduct is pure; his words, innocent; using courteous sincerity, he approaches a woman. The woman, delighted with his unselfconscious beauty, moved by his selfless generosity, attaches herself to him.

 

A man's one true purpose in life is to serve beautiful women. Two men are gentlemen in competition for one girl's affection. One provides better and pleases her more - To him goes the girl; the other man loses graciously, happy to have striven against a better.

[Rickster]

I think the idea of thinking you'd be prepared to do more and provide a better relationship than the the person he/she is seeing at the moment isn't very smart. While you may be able to better support that girl in areas where her current boyfriend may not be able to, you may not be able to do the other things he can provide better. Everyone is bound to have some good qualities and bad qualities. Heck, you may even just be saying you could provide better to prove to the girl that you are the better "option" and win her over because you are so locked up in your fantasy of having her, but in reality you cannot provide better. From time to time, people take their love for granted. But who is to say you won't as well. It's always that 3-4 months where you feel it's magic - after that it's really a test on whether you can keep yourself from taking your relationship for granted. I've seen so many people fall for this trap, including me. It's definitely not the easiest thing to do but yet it's easy to say you won't do.

 

As for the whining or nagging, there is a statistic that I've heard before... something like 7 or 8 out of 10 times you are likely to speak about the bad rather than the good.

 

 

 

 

Very short and sweet.

 

 

Now loyalty is one of my strongest virtues. After reading everyone's posts and compiling it in my head, when does loyalty become property? There must be some fine line that I now cannot distinguish. I mean staying with someone through thick and thin represents loyalty. But doesn't that feel like you are a property of your significant other as well? Could someone help me sort out my head.

[ResonanceTheory]

I see it as a matter of semantics. I think that "seduce" is the wrong word. I personally see nothing wrong with befriending someone who is dating someone else. There is no reason to be devious about things or to try and break the couple up. You have to respect emotional and physical boundaries at all times and have integrity.

 

However, there will be some situations where feelings evolve naturally, and where, through becoming good friends with a person and sharing and observing their life experiences, you come to realize that they are a better match for you than your current partner.

 

This actually happened to me once, so I speak from experience. My current boyfriend was a good friend for about 10 months; in those 10 months, we were both seeing other people. I saw him go through his relationship and saw what a good boyfriend he was and was impressed by his steadfastness and loyalty in spite of the fact that his relationship with his girlfriend was long-distance and terrible. One day, I told him how I felt about him, and he told me that he reciprocated the feelings. We didn't jump into anything--we both took our time, didn't cheat on our partners with each other. We both went back to our respective significant others, were honest with them, and broke our relationships off so we were free to pursue each other.

 

I think it's so easy to demonize people and think of them as fickle if they want to leave their partner for another person, but it's a real and natural part of the ebb and flow of relationships. Sometimes breakups occur without the help of an "outside force", and sometimes it takes someone else to show you just how bad of a situation you're in, how you and your partner have changed, drifted apart, or how your feelings have lessened. In my example, neither my boyfriend or I saw any long-term potential with the people that we were dating before each other. We were both young, in college. As loyal people, we were roughing our respective relationships out, but it wasn't easy and we were both unfulfilled. In each other, we had a strong friendship and saw all the qualities that we needed to build an enduring relationship with long-term potential. It wasn't easy because we both cared about the people that we were with, but we saw it as the best move for us; for our happiness and personal satisfaction. Two and a half years later, we're still together, so I believe it was the right choice.

 

Is it selfish? Yes, to a degree. But let's be realistic here: to what extent should a person fight to remain in a relationship where they are unhappy? I have always been one to stick it out and try and make things work, but it takes a bigger person to know when time is up. Do I think it's fair to someone in a relationship (either party) when someone else comes in and misrepresents themselves or is purposefully manipulative in order to gain access to someone else's partner? No. But I'll admit that there is a fine line; For example, did I overstep the boundaries of my current boyfriend's relationship with his ex when I told him that I thought he was a good boyfriend and that I was attracted to him? Perhaps. But as I see it, I was only telling him the truth--attraction to other people is an inevitable part of human nature and relationships. It was ultimately his choice to tell me whether or not he reciprocated those feelings, and whether he wanted to act on them. And, in my opinion, we did it in the cleanest way possible: without any cheating, and with honesty to our respective partners.

 

Unfortunately, I am not one of those people that believes that every relationship is salvageable and that everything can work with the right amount of elbow grease. Some relationships will just naturally be easier and more satisfying for a variety of reasons, such as compatibility, social/living circumstances, etc. I know that there is the inevitable barrage of rebukes: "Why should you just pick the relationship that's the easiest? Love isn't always easy!!!", etc. But, in the end, it's much more than that, and I'm sure that most of us here can agree that there is NOTHING that is black and white about relationships, particularly when they come to an end.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Reminds me.

 

Last year, when I was still at my old school...we'd gotten down to the wire where only me and him were still hanging on to our LDR's. Every other couple I knew had broken up by christmas our sophomore year.

 

Well, he told me that he liked his gf while she was in a relationship with another guy. He was friends with both of them and didn't want to break them up in order for him to date her. So, he did everything he could to keep them two together.

 

When they broke up, they broke up because they both didn't want to be in their relationship, not because she left him for my friend.

 

Two months later (he wanted to give it some time as to not "pounce") he asked her out with a clear conscious and entered a relationship without all the mess from breaking up another one.

 

I also agree with everything Resonance posted. It's not always black and white. Sometimes it is, but other times people just fall in love under bad circumstances.

[drewciouS281]

I'm glad you talked about it with your friends. I wouldn't take a friends girlfriend aswell because the friendship is more important to my eyes.

 

 

 

Nah I ain't in love with anymore at the moment. To be honest, I was just sitting on the toilet when the idea came up to me. I don't know why and how but I had to make a thread about it ^^

 

Well thats all good and dandy my friend but who the heck would think up something like this unless they were capable of these intentions? Thats why i got heated.

 

by the way, whats up with your Avy. it gives me the heebee jeebees

[Tarkan]

Well thats all good and dandy my friend but who the heck would think up something like this unless they were capable of these intentions? Thats why i got heated.

 

by the way, whats up with your Avy. it gives me the heebee jeebees

 

I don't know, sometimes you just ask youself questions when you observe the world around you. Those aren't always related to myself. They're just random thoughts. Don't you have some ?

 

And what's an avy ? Do you mean my avatar ? It's just a pencil drawing ( but he looks creepy now that i think about it )

[Tarkan]

I was reading these parts of your post again and it seems you misunderstood some of my points. It might be because I didn't explained myself well.

 

First, I'd suggest you read the new posts of the posters above since I think they are very wise and a good attempt to answer the question of the topic.

Then I just wanted to clarify some things:

 

1) No, as person who would flirt with someone's bf/gf you have no decision to take. But that's completely logic. How would you decide for them ? They're free and if they want to leave their current partner, it's because THEY choose to do so. It would not mean that I steal your love but that SHE would leave for another. "Stealing" would mean kidnap, against someone's will. which of course, is punishable by law. If they don't want better, they'll stay with you, it's as simple as that.

 

That's why I also said that if that person leaves you for another, you are better off without her because it tells you something about that person. Like debaser said in her example: She would blame het partner, not the one who is "stealing" it. If I happened do be with a person who always leave for better, I'd ask myself several questions too.

 

2) I ain't talking about relationship "sabotage". This is they you interprete it. I'm talking about reaal feelings. Picture yourself some girl or guy that is in love with someone's gf/bf and really wants a serious relationship with that person. Sabotaging would imply that one is just playing around with someone's partner just for the fun of breaking up their relationship. I don't think THAT is morale.

 

AS other's pointed out, that's where morale and respect comes in. This is also what ResonanceTheory said: There is no black and white. I guess that as a person you have to draw the line somewhere. But that doesn't mean it is forbidden terrain.

 

There are many people who left their partner and who are now in more healthy/happier relationships.

 

And don't forget that I'm assuming no one is cheating because I'm absolutely against that. I'd assume that the person would break up with her partner first.

 

3) You know, take a good look at humanity and you'll see that for many things we're still at the Stone Age. Figurally spreaking. Funny is it not ? =)

But I don't get the analogy anyway because I think I made my point clear. I don't see how it is being immature. Unless you cheat of course ...

 

@Moderators: Sorry for the double posts

[Lonewing]

Someday, Tarkan, you too will find your relationship sabatoged by the efforts of another man who simply did not respect your domain...you are her domain, she is your domain, thus is the sanctity of the monogomous relationship.

 

By pulling people apart in this manner, youa re not jsut breaking their relaitonship. You are enabling them to experience what it means to break a hardened moral code. After it has been done, that person will neevr have their untarnished record again, and further, that person will no longer feel confined to live by that moral code any time it no longer suits their desires - either short term or long term.

 

In short, you are encouraging debasing behavior tearing down the very walls of commitment and all for your own sick selfish pleasure [why else would you want to be with a woman?] and then excusing it by claiming she is better off for having had the experience. The very idea that someone would then celebrate breaking people down like this is deeply grotesque.

[Tarkan]

Someday, Tarkan, you too will find your relationship sabatoged by the efforts of another man who simply did not respect your domain...you are her domain, she is your domain, thus is the sanctity of the monogomous relationship.

 

That's a possibility, such is life. I won't lie, the day this happens I will be sad and angry. But eventually I'll get over it, and realise that I was better off without that person who left me for another. I'd rather be with someone that is happy with me.

 

By pulling people apart in this manner, youa re not jsut breaking their relaitonship. You are enabling them to experience what it means to break a hardened moral code. After it has been done, that person will neevr have their untarnished record again, and further, that person will no longer feel confined to live by that moral code any time it no longer suits their desires - either short term or long term.

 

That's a theory but no certainity. Isn't this a childish way to think ? You hurt me so I hurt you back ! Dam, I forgot people are like that most of time ^^

No but another way to look at this: You wouldn't do it to another person since you now know how this feels and you wouldn't want someone else to feel like that.

 

In short, you are encouraging debasing behavior tearing down the very walls of commitment and all for your own sick selfish pleasure [why else would you want to be with a woman?] and then excusing it by claiming she is better off for having had the experience. The very idea that someone would then celebrate breaking people down like this is deeply grotesque.

 

Where do you see I encourage this ? I never said it was the way to go ! The whole topic is just one big "what if ...". It's all just theorycrafting but there's not one moment where I said we should all just do this.

 

You ask me for what else I'd love a woman ? Well I'd want to share my pleasure with her. Because having a happy and fulfilled girlfriend would also make me happy. I hope your idea of love isn't based on selfishness since it will never lead to a lasting relationship.

 

I don't want to celebrate any idea, nor claiming any excuse. I just want opinions on the subject. You have yours but I think they're based on the misjudgement of what I explained in the topic. In the end, love and feelings are always invloved. Those feelings just happen and you can't avoid them.

[Imprecision]

Speaking of sabotage...

 

I have a friend who worked in Canadian politics for several years. One time, he met a girl he liked, who had a boyfriend. So every time my friend hung out with the girl, he would try to discredit the boyfriend - For instance, he would repeatedly suggest that the boyfriend was boring. Or when he doesn't say this directly, he would find ways to use the boyfriend's name and the word "boring" in the same sentence.

 

Within three weeks, the girl dumped her boyfriend and got together with my friend. They went out for seven months. In the end, she became too much for him, so he dumped her.

 

***

 

Another of my friend has dated one girl for four years. They've lived together for the four years, too. Within my oldest circle of friends, they are the most stable, most solid couple.

 

He first met her through dance class. They started hanging out. She then dumped her boyfriend for him.

 

I don't think he actively pursued her. Instead, she got to know him better by hanging out, decided that he was the better of the two men, and then got together with him.

 

***

 

So, two stories which spring to mind. I love both my friends. Both of these stories are well-known in my circle. Thoughts?

 

Addition

 

Actually, this reminds me of Rory, Jess, and Dean in Gilmore Girls. Why did Rory leave Dean anyway?

 

I prefer Jess. I think he's far more of a man than Dean. However, I believe that if Dean had not, on his own initiative, broken things off with Rory, she would have stuck with him. A woman often sticks with a man, even if she sees better options.

 

Anyone here watched that show? Any views?

[Tarkan]

I like your stories imprecision since they both reflect another side of the coin =) One ended well and the other bad but both started with the same thing.

 

I can't say alot about the second since we don't know what all happened but I guess I'm happy that they have a stable relationship. It proves that there can also be a happy ending and that some people are better off with it.

 

The first story is a bit lame. Since you said that your friend discreditted the girl's boyfriend. But then again, if he did so I guess the girl must have said bad things about her boyfriend ? It seems like the girl got easily impressed too.

 

I think there was love involved since they lasted for seven months but he ended up dropping her. Maybe he realised that she might have a weak personality ?

 

The discrediting sounds a bit lame. But then again, if he didn't knew the guy, it was easy to judge the boyfriend based on what that girl said. Discredit someone you know on the other hand is something totally different. Especially when you know it's a good guy/girl. That's totally lame ! So I guess in the end, that girl shouldn't have said bad things about her boyfriend in the first place.

 

Edit: I'm trying to think about examples ^^

[Imprecision]

Ah, let me clarify the first story.

 

1. My friend knew the boyfriend as a casual acquaintance from some politics thing. Personally, I don't think "discrediting" is that difficult. Whenever the girl or one of her friends bring up "the boyfriend," just say you think he's really boring. Whether she argues back or not doesn't matter.

 

2. He dumped her, because she was far too demanding. He got out of a bad breakup just before he met her, and so he tolerated a lot of her bad behaviour and didn't stand up for himself. By the end of seven months, he had enough and so left her.

 

3. As for love - He liked her well enough, but she was not a "love of his life."

[Tarkan]

Ah, let me clarify the first story.

 

1. My friend knew the boyfriend as a casual acquaintance from some politics thing. Personally, I don't think "discrediting" is that difficult. Whenever the girl or one of her friends bring up "the boyfriend," just say you think he's really boring. Whether she argues back or not doesn't matter.

 

2. He dumped her, because she was far too demanding. He got out of a bad breakup just before he met her, and so he tolerated a lot of her bad behaviour and didn't stand up for himself. By the end of seven months, he had enough and so left her.

 

3. As for love - He liked her well enough, but she was not a "love of his life."

 

I still think that if you really love your bf/gf you don't talk bad when they aren't there. Somewhere that girl agreed on the fact that her boyfriend was boring. Why is she still with him then ? We could argue that your friend influenced her but I would definitely defend my girlfriend if such things were said about her. See my point ?

 

Story with a friend of mine

 

I posted about it somewhere if I remember well but it was more then 1 year ago. Since the first day I knew her she had a boyfriend. They were together for 5 years and it was her first boyfriend. One day, we both had to go to some place for a schoolstage. During that week we learned about eachother more and there was definitely something going on. At that point I decided to stay friends but my interest in her was growing.

 

During the following months we were hanging out together almost every week. I call it hanging out but she always called it date(?). With some time we were almost a perfect match. It felt right to be together. Mind you, I always respected her as a friend during that time and I never made a move. This was because I didn't know whyat to do with my feelings since I knew she had a boyfriend.

 

During the time we were together, she was always discredditing her boyfriend. But really bad ! The guy had a gaming addiction so he was not taking care enough of her. Still, during all this time I refrained myself from discredditing him. I was just a listening ear. But inside myself, based on what my friend was telling me, I thought he was a jerk. until I met him one day at her birthday party. He was a funny guy and I quite liked him. Ok he was a macho but it didn't bothered me. Aren't we all from time to time ? =) This made it even harder for me to make a move on my friend.

 

And then she started to say really bad things like:

 

"I wish I met you before I met my boyfriend"

"If I ever break up with him, you'll be my special friend"

"Last night, I dreamed I had sex with you"

she even said: "That one week we went on schoolstage, I was thinking about having sex with you"

 

But at the same time she was saying that she liked her boyfriend too but was thinking about breaking up since it wasn't the same as 5 years ago. Again, I refrained myself from discreditting him. I usually joked around about what she said. I decided that if I ever had to make a move, it would be after she broke up and when she was over him, in respect for her feelings.

 

One day she called me on my cellphone. It came totally unexpected but she broke up with her friend. We talked about an hour. One hour where she was crying on the phone about how she was confused and didn't know what she she felt for him. She even asked me what to do.

This is what I said;

 

"I think you should do what you think is right. Ask yourself a few questions: Were you happy with X ? And do you see yourself having a future with him ? Are you willing to work on your mutual problems in order to improve your future with him ? If the answer to those questions are yes, then I think you know what is the right thing to do. I can't choose for you."

 

One week later they were together again. I cryed a bit inside, knowing that I'd never be with her. But eventually I accepted it and moved on. They are still together and I am still her best friend. Her boyfriend seems to like me and he always want to invite me over. Irony ?

 

In the end I think the things she said and did are worse then mine.

[Imprecision]

Well, quite clearly, if you had gone for her, she would have been yours. Of course, the way she discredited her boyfriend would have been a complete turn-off.

 

I've been thinking - What keeps a woman loyal anyway?

[Tarkan]

 

I've been thinking - What keeps a woman loyal anyway?

 

Or a man ? ^^

[drewciouS281]

one can never tell now days. ^^^ All we can have is trust and faith. Sucks nothing is that secure now days but thats life.

[Tarkan]

one can never tell now days. ^^^ All we can have is trust and faith. Sucks nothing is that secure now days but thats life.

 

Doesn't it make it more exiting ? The fact that the other is never granted. Imagine that you could have your partner without doing any effort ... wouldn't it take away some of the fun of being together ? I don't know, it might be different for every single person.

 

But I agree that losing someone is never fun !