Speranza Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 This happened to me and I simply couldn't get past it, I'm afraid! BUT this was because in the beginning we'd had so much sex... and then it was like his desire faded and mine grew. Then a small comment about my weight - honestly, nothing awful, but I couldn't believe how it stuck in my mind! There again, he asked me what was wrong and I said, "I feel as though you don't fancy me as much these days..." (it wasn't just sex, body language in bed etc) and instead of protesting that he did, he did some foot-in-mouth routine about how he'd DONE sex with physically gorgeous women, and now it was about how lovely, sweet and kind this person in bed was... I know he meant it well, but it made me feel like he was tolerating my body because I was a nice person. And guys know all about how it feels to be 'Nice'. I told myself it meant even more that he was with me because he saw the real me - but it didn't feel like being desired. I tried to talk it through with him and get past it but - he wouldn't really talk other than to say, "This has soured things hasn't it?" and to act as though we'd broken up. He was visibly upset, but I was left with the impression that he was relieved. He wouldn't revisit this at all, so we parted (friends) and I have to say, if bad communication had been the only issue, it would have been a dealbreaker in any case. Better to be friends I think! But yes, it opened up issues I thought I'd laid to rest YEARS ago! On the plus side, I'm using those feelings to help me continue to work on getting even fitter! I'm so glad you have talked it through and got out the chocolate syrup! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanSerif Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 I'm so glad you have talked it through and got out the chocolate syrup! Lol ya it was just something I threw in there when I was buying the flowers and candles at the store. I passed the ice cream section and saw hershey's in my peripheral vision and went woooooop, what's that? *grab* That sucks to hear about what that guy said to you. I could envision that as a dealbreaker, for a man or a woman, quite easily. Imagine if my girlfriend had said to me, "All those underwear models I dated have made me appreciate sex with you for different reasons than physical attraction", well I guess I could accept it as a compliment but I won't say it wouldn't feel like a punch to the gut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speranza Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Yeah, and I'm sad it was cos I really care[d] about him. I even questioned whether I was being shallow! I am sure he didn't mean to upset me - but it did... It was exactly that - a punch-to-the-gut compliment! lol Ah well - next!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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