czjnkn Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 So I have posted before about my girlfriend not being very interested in sex anymore. We've had many discussion and many reasons between the both of us, why we feel the way we do, but let's forget all that right now... Let's go back to last week. We go to a concert and each bring a friend. She gets fairly drunk pretty quickly. She then just glares at me and out of nowhere says "I want to suck your C*&^. Then goes on to tell me that we can have sex whenever I want as long as I'm on top. I just have to kiss her in certain spots, lol. So someone starts talking about lesbians and she starts going on about how she could "never go down". She repeatedly says this and then tells about a time in high school when she was with a girl. She ended it before she could reciprocate as she says. The next morning we wake up. I ask her about the stuff she said, she remembers most of it. She then brings up threesomes knowing that I've had them before and asked if it was ever with a girlfriend (they hadn't). She asks specific details about everything that happened and i felt uneasy discussing it, as I wouldn't ever want to hear about her sexual encounters. She finally says that if i'd like it, she might want to try it sometime, she just couldnt do it with a girl she knows or would see again. She's said nothing of the sort or made any sexual advances of any sort toward me since the conversation, so things are back to usual, but I'm wondering if I set something up, if it could get stuff going with us again, also with a bit of fun! The dilemma I have is, there's a girl that I would hook up with sometimes when I went to my friends house thats about 50 minutes from my place. When neither of us had a bf/gf and everyone would couple up, we'd end up having sex usually. There is a good attraction, but understanding that we're just friends. We've never dated. We might hook up one weekend and the next she'd be there with a guy or I'd be there with a girl. Neither one of us would get jealous or have a problem. We were friends that would occasionally hook up, nothing else. She has contacted me a few times recently (when drunk) and hints at hooking up, but never pushes it because she knows I'm in a relationship. I've considered proposing the idea of the threesome to her and my GF, but I'm unsure if she would be into that or if my GF would be into it still and into with someone who i've been with before. Any suggestions if I should or not, or how I could bring it up to either of them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I think that girl is the WRONGWRONGWRONG girl to bring in for that. If your gf found out/knows you hooked up with her you could be cutting an ugly absess open. Try asking your gf who she'd want. Sounds to me like you'd be better off going in as the dominant rather than focussing on the threesome right now. Have you been making any moves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
czjnkn Posted August 20, 2009 Author Share Posted August 20, 2009 I think that girl is the WRONGWRONGWRONG girl to bring in for that. If your gf found out/knows you hooked up with her you could be cutting an ugly absess open. Try asking your gf who she'd want. Sounds to me like you'd be better off going in as the dominant rather than focussing on the threesome right now. Have you been making any moves? My girlfriend stated she doesn't know anybody that she could do this with, as she doesn't want to know them or want to see them out and about. This girl lives about an hour away so she wouldn't really be seen and she doesn't know her, so I thought about her as being a candidate. My girlfriend has said something about not knowing how to find someone for this kind of thing, so I thought I'd throw it out there. She never seems to get upset at hearing about me having slept with anyone, so i'm not sure she'd get very upset, only would maybe say no. And yes, I've tried to be the aggressor in sex to initiate by starting to kiss her and things and she'll always just back away and later state that she didn't even realize she was doing that. It's happened so many times now, that I really don't try things like that anymore, I just mention having sex and she'll usually do it because she'll realize it's been awhile...ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerman Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Having been through this in a committed relationship, my advice to you is to stay out of the decision making process. Let your GF initiate everything with the other girl. It is okay to be excited at the prospect of this (most guys are) but don't get too involved in getting things set up. The other thing I will caution you about is that you and your GF better be very trusting of each other or this whole thing could backfire on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I think you're only fooling yourself, by dragging in another girl that you've already slept with into this relationship, and expecting that to solve your problems. Also, my opinion is that all you're focusing on is sex, which I agree is important, but it takes more than that to make a relationship work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastytoothpaste Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Having a threesome is only gonna make your sex life plummet even more. It raises the bar of what's to be expected. And if you're gonna do it, do NOT do it with this chick. That's gonna be way too messy. You're much better off with someone that neither of you has a history with and that neither of you will ever see again...so, a stranger. But you never know if a stranger is "clean" or not. So all in all, you're better off putting this idea out of your head altogether. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quirky Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 You know, here's my humble opinion from the little I'm reading..I think your casual hook up is not a good canditate. Also I think regardless of what she says a threesome doesn't seem to be a good idea at this point because you and your girlfriend are not ok sexually. Is this a serious relationship? What seems to be the problem with the sex? Was it always like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heloladies21 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Being a guy who's successfully had a threesome while in a relationship (my current one), I can tell you this: whatever problems in your relationship that exist will become magnified 100x just by even attempting this. It takes an airtight relationship with no issues to make something like this work, and if you go into this with stuff lingering in the background, it will just speed up the process to an eventual break up. You, specifically, have to fix the issues in your relationship before you even try this. Otherwise this relationship is essentially over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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