guy dated totally smitten now ignorin me

[buckley]

Ok so I started dating a guy and he was really into me. I wasnt ready for a rship just yet so i let him know and we decided to just hang out, kinda date and just see where it went. He had a lot on as well as his ex who he had a 'one last time' with 7 months ago is 7 months pregnant and so that was a huge issue but i wasnt too concerned as we were just good friends and i wasnt ready for rship anyways BUT then i began to really, really, like him as we started hangin out we ended up finding out jst how much we had in common! how well we got along and it was crazy. he would call/txt every day and was totally smitten.

 

i told him i started to like him and he said he definetly felt the same which i knew already as he had told me few times before. we decided to take it as it came as i still didnt knwo if i was ready or not (im only 6 months out of lt rship but feel like been single much much longer as it was over well before that but still i was in a rship for yrs and not about to jump into another one).

 

trouble is, his ex told him she is going to leave to go home seems she is only on a student visa anyways and has no family etc here. he got very upset as he is very confused about it all as it is his child and he feels a lot of guilt and the possibility of him not seeing his child be born, grow up etc is very hard for him to think about. she asked him to make a decision......be with her and she will stay or if she is going to be alone she will go home. which i pretty much understand as does he. bare in mind he is there for her its just not the same, he takes her to all appointments, helps her pay her rent etc as she is not working n so on.

 

since then i gave him some space as i knew he needed to make this big decision and i felt like i needed to stand back. he txt me quite a few times saying how amazing i was and all that. anyways the day after she gave him the ultimatium they had an ultra sound so i didnt contact him all day n he didnt me. it was first time we went a dayw ithout contact. he text me late the next day saying he had had crazy cpl days n i wrote back but he didnt reply. even tho i asked specifically 'are u ok?" in my txt i also offered support and told him i understood and thats why i was giving him space.

 

after he didnt reply i waited a day n txt him 'ok i get the hint'. he didnt reply until a day later sayin 'sorry, i had a black out at my house n lost everything electrical virtually im so so sorry'. i txt back albeit a lot later (8 hrs) as i had left my phone at home and he never replied and hasnt since.

 

i have sent him a txt since saying are we ok? if not pls let me know, i hope ur ok, i undersstand your postion so if we cant date anymore i would understand etc. and that i hoped he was ok. no reply.

 

thing is i wouldnt be gutted if he did get back with her i would understand, iw ouldnt be gutted if he did want to stop dating BUT i AM gutted he just never wrote me back, never let me know like he cared that little.

 

it has now been 5 days since ive heard from him and 3 days since my last txt.

 

question is: can i send him one last txt saying something like 'can i just ask what happened? just so i know?" or is that a bad idea?

[Ivory_Tower]

Dublin is a beautiful city!

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. Honestly, it sounds like he does like you, but the stress with the old gf being pregnant is just a lot for him to handle. Its very possible that he feels obligated to either be with her or support her for the sake of the child.

 

I would wait until he contacts you. He already knows that you know the full situation.

[In the Dark]

Ivory tower is on it there.

 

He feels he should be with the ex due to the baby.

 

Fair enough too.

[looscroo]

Ugh! That sucks!!! My boyfriend and I broke up for a week, then he said he wanted to try again, I expressed my concerns, he told me not to worry, he would prove to me that I was wrong, and we would be ok. That was over a month ago and I've tried to call a few times, and I havn't talked to him since. If he wants to communicate with you, he will, if not, telling him you want to know what's going on will have no effect(at least it didn't for me). If he wants to talk to you he will. It is very hard not knowing what's going on, and I am really sorry you are going through it.

[Scorpion Fury]

Way too much drama. Why get involved further? His ex is pregnant and they are having drama. Lose-lose situation.

[Johnathan]

he is probably going through a lot of emotion and reflection right now, and the realization that he has a baby on the way is really sinking in. When that happens, not much else matters, and unfortunately it may cause him to throw you under the bus. Maybe not even intentionally, but I'm sure his emotional plate is full right now. Who knows, the birth of his baby might even reawaken his feelings for the mother. I've seen crazier things happen.

[buckley]

thanks for all the replies guys.

 

I agree, my instinct is that all this is just sinking in for him for real now, esp with the ltra sound and everything the day after her saying be with me or i leave etc.

 

I agree that he should be with her if that is his decision. I totally understand if that is what has happened! absolutley!

 

i just wish he felt he could have let me know cos now i wonder if either he just didnt give a * * * * or hes too overwhelmed with everything else.

 

scorpion fury: It is a lot of drama, you got that right! I suppose why even bother is becaus ei havent met someone who made me laugh and had so many of the qualities i have looked for, for years and felt a really nice connection with him. Plus when isnt life full of drama?

 

its just a feeling i suppose, like it just didnt feel right to walk away because of this. is suppose i really liked him and he said and seemed to feel the same. i just feel disspointed and i would have liked to have just seen what could have happened bw us but i see and understand he is in no place for that.

 

i am tempted to in like a weeks time or few more days time just let him know that i think he is amazing and that if he ever needs me or wants to get back in touch he can (because i do understand he is ogin thru so much).