thouse Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Me and my boyfriend go to a party last night, it is my aunt's bday party. After the party he decides that he wants to go with my cousin and his cousin to a strip club, now if we had been spending more time together then I probably wouldn't have minded, but lately I have been feeling neglected and I have expressed this to him several times, so we had some words and I get in my car it was about 1:30 and I decided to go to a club when I got there I ran into an old girlfriend and we ended up hanging out having a good time, we went and ate breakfast and ultimately I didn't get home until about 5:10am. Now he comes home from bars at this time alot, this is my first time doing it. When he pulled up in the driveway he called me and said "How come its 5:00 and you are not here, I don't know how you can think I could still be in a relationship with you after this", and he didn't come home. I am not asking for advice on what to do, because I know that I am leaving, I more so want to know if I was wrong for staying out even though he does it?? Link to comment
anggrace Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 No, I don't think you were wrong at all. Link to comment
thouse Posted August 9, 2009 Author Share Posted August 9, 2009 No, I don't think you were wrong at all. I honestly don't feel like I did anything wrong. He chose to go off and not be with me, and I chose not to go home and wait for him to decide and come home after he watched naked women for hours. I just can't understand how he can be upset. Link to comment
nina2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 It would be wrong if you did not enjoy it. It seems that you did exactly what you wanted and enjoyed it. If can not live with that, it is his choice. And it doesn't matter what his behavior is, you are entitled to do what do you want. Link to comment
savignon Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 He's upset b/c he's looking to make you the bad guy. That way he doesn't have to see himself that way. If you had asked him to go home w/ you instead of going to the strip club he would've said you're a drag.....if you'd said "okay, have fun!" and went to bed, he would think you're lame or faking it and if you go out and have fun yourself, he doesn't see why he should be with you..... No win situations. He distorts reality so that you are always the bad guy. Good for you for seeing through it and not taking part in it anymore!!! Link to comment
thouse Posted August 9, 2009 Author Share Posted August 9, 2009 It would be wrong if you did not enjoy it. It seems that you did exactly what you wanted and enjoyed it. If can not live with that, it is his choice. And it doesn't matter what his behavior is, you are entitled to do what do you want. He didn't even ask me where I had been, so no doubt he thinks I was cheating, but I wasn't. He is insecure because he knows he hasn't been holding up his end in this relationship, and when we argue I tell him that I am going to go and find someone that knows how to treat me Link to comment
thouse Posted August 9, 2009 Author Share Posted August 9, 2009 He's upset b/c he's looking to make you the bad guy. That way he doesn't have to see himself that way. If you had asked him to go home w/ you instead of going to the strip club he would've said you're a drag.....if you'd said "okay, have fun!" and went to bed, he would think you're lame or faking it and if you go out and have fun yourself, he doesn't see why he should be with you..... No win situations. He distorts reality so that you are always the bad guy. Good for you for seeing through it and not taking part in it anymore!!! He definitely always tries to make me wrong and that I just complain about everything for no reason. I have legitimate gripes, but he can never see them, or he chooses not to see them, what really gets me is he does this sort of thing all the time and I hardly ever say anything about it. But yeah this not coming home thing is the last straw. Link to comment
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 its the old flip the script... ummm so i'm wondering.. he was just pulling in at 5am.. and he's questioning where you were and what you were doing? right. I agree with savignon 100%. you did nothing wrong- start planning your escape. Link to comment
thouse Posted August 9, 2009 Author Share Posted August 9, 2009 Exactly he's mad at me and he was coming in the same time I was. Just when he pulled up and didn't see my car, he left and called me and hasn't been here since. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 It sounds like he's trying to just end the relationship, and do so feeling justified that you're the problem and not him. Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I agree with Hex. Seems like he was looking for an out anyway. The fact that he didn't stay at the house, get in bed, and just take this up with you in the morning, but rather up the anny and not come home at all, is VERY TELLING, bold and rude. Have you heard from him today? Link to comment
thouse Posted August 9, 2009 Author Share Posted August 9, 2009 I agree with Hex. Seems like he was looking for an out anyway. The fact that he didn't stay at the house, get in bed, and just take this up with you in the morning, but rather up the anny and not come home at all, is VERY TELLING, bold and rude. Have you heard from him today? He came home briefly while I was at the store getting dog food, and left before I could get back, but the kids told me he had been there. Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Yuck. His behavior is gross and super disrespectful. He would be so done in my book. You mentioned "kids"...are any of them his? Did he come home last night? Link to comment
mca1975 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 So sorry, he is trying to end the relationship but with you as the bad guy. You have done nothing wrong. You must feel really hurt. You are better off without him. Go talk to your friend who you went out with for the night, and do it again to your heart's content sweet heart. x Link to comment
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