i am an emotional mess

[stolen heart]

hi y'all. sorry for this new long post but i need help... please!!!

 

i mentioned that my short term boyfriend broke up with me and now is dating someone else. while the thing is... i ended up writing the guy a letter telling him that i was fed up with his crap and games and charitable handouts. i wasn't charity or trash he could help to ease his ego. so basically i sent him that email 2 weeks ago. and last week i sent him another email basically blasting him for being a jerk to me and not ever replying and ending it properly... I said some cold things out of anger. But hell, I was pissed and wanted some sort of satisfaction dishing out the coldness too... Well he didn't reply and yesterday at 11:50pm he called me. i was stunned. he left a message on my cell phone mentioning that he had been thinking about me. he mentioned that he still wanted to be my friend and didn't want to end our friendship. he also mentioned that he had sent me an email in response to my messages on Sunday. Well frankly I haven't gotten that fricken' email.

 

I'm not surprised. I honestly don't think he ever sent it. My friends think his ego has been bent and hurt... I say - who gives a shiit. And yet it irritates me to no end to think that he would call me and want to be supposedly be friends yet shows no visible desire ... You'd think that 2 months is enough to give a guy a chance to prove he wants to be friends instead of ignoring me... Right? I'm sick of the games... Tired of his smooth talk and obligatory emails/fone calls every other week.

 

My mental stability doesn't need his whatever you call it... His crap is not boding well with me. So i got ticked and sent him a string of txt msgs... i guess i was pissed...

 

the txt msgs basically mentioned something like...

thanks 4 the phone call... i didn't get the email... whatever... hope ur doing well... why would u say he want to be friends when u make no visible show that u do? ur obviously not getting anything out of this friendship and i'm certainly not... i have my life and don't need/want your charitable handouts... i have friends, family and a new guy... so are we friends or what? hmm...

 

and lastly:

i don't think i'm asking 4 too much. i just want a response & think I deserve 1... do u want to try to have a friendship or is your idea of friendship what we've had for the past few months? can u answer that?

 

well...do u all think i am a mess? i think that's the sad truth... does anyone think that i've lost all chances of winning him back? i think so but right now i don't think i care...his attitude is annoying me... Ugh... Well - any thoughts will be welcome.

 

S