genster Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I know it's pointless for people to read this but i guess it's a statement and reminder for me so that i don't break down and break the NC. Just something to make it official haha. So today, july 10th 2009, i will no longer contact my ex. I will stop checking my inbox for any messages from him (well i think this would be the hardest). I will not answer his calls if he does and i will not call him. Same goes for text messaging. If i ever break the NC, well someone should punish me! I wrote to him a last email a few minutes ago and i'm cleaning my room right now and getting rid of all the stuff he gave me such as cards, pictures,etc... What i'm scared the most right now is of breaking down like i did yesterday and cry. I hope people will support me in my "healing". I'll try my best not to disappoint myself, my friends and everyone on ENA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thermaltake Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 If you need punishing, i'll help =) Nah good on ya girl The one i'm loving that helps me through NC is: lets be friends! For some strange reason this always seems to be on her terms, thats not a friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copper Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Good for you genster. Keep up the good attitude and you will get through this. Keep true to all you said and you will get through this! Getting rid of all his things is a great idea. It will help to keep your mind off him. You have to understand that breaking down and crying happens to all of us...There will be days where you will cry all day long. But its all part of the healing process. Dont keep it all built up inside, its okay to cry. I think I speak for all ENA when I say we support you. Thats what this forum is for after all Keep true to all you said and you should be fine. Best of luck genster. You can do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Good luck, stay strong, were always around if you have a weak moment and need to talk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genster Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 thank you for the support! i'm already about to break down haha rawr i was doing so good just a few minutes ago i just can't help but think if i went back that night and didnt break up with him and asked him to pick me, choose me and love me (grey's anatomy, yes haha) he said there wasn't anything between him and the other girl then would there still be time for us to work things out? or would he have just kept on cheating behind my back that night..if instead of feeling betrayed, i begged to be with me what would have happened i really hate these what-if scenarios. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copper Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Your going to break down plenty of times believe me. Best thing to do is cry is out, it will make you feel better. Genster...You can think about the what if's all your life...and it will not get you anywhere. Believe me, I thought about them a lot. What if I said I loved her more, what if I smiled at her more, what if I did more romantic stuff for her. Just saying these things now hurts, and its not getting me anywhere. Its just making me feel like i'm a bad person..and im not a bad person. I just wasnt meant for her. And thats find, there is somebody out there for me. You need to stop thinking these thoughts, stop 2nd guessing whats happening. Whats happened has happened, and it happened for a reason (wow lots of happens). Don't look back. Move on with your life. There is a perfect guy out for you somewhere, and one day you will find him and laugh about how sad you are feeling now. Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dimnickel1980 Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 and btw.. cheaters deserve no second chances. imo. they made their choice against you. way to be strong and stick up for yourself! no regrets!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genster Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 Thanks everyone I just hate how i get ups-and-downs. it's funny how i can give advice to others but when it comes to myself..i fail to listen to my own words. I'm starting my job on tuesday so i hope that will keep my mind off. And i'm glad i have all of you at ENA! I'm just scared i don't know how to talk to guys anymore hahaha lame i know. but i'm so used to pushing guys away because of him that now im nervous just talking casually and when someone flirts i freeze up like an idiot and i try too hard. I think i need a reform haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genster Posted July 13, 2009 Author Share Posted July 13, 2009 Someone slap me and tie me to a chair! i want to write to him =C i want to ask him all sorts of questions ask him why, when, how could he cheat on me just where did we go wrong he said he would always fight for me and he would never leave me and how it would kill him if i was in a relationship with someone else i want to bang my head on the wall so bad 3 i really hate myself right now part of me already let go of him but the other part is still fighting on for i don't know what reason i'm so frustrated right now =C i hate how i can give advice and support to others but when it comes to myself..i can't do it ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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