Just getting back into dating again, and needing help on more than one thing...

[abriellek]

Hey everybody,

last time I used this forum was over a year ago after a terrible, life-altering breakup. I'm currently 20, and I'm just about a month into a new relationship - the first thing since my breakup (which was now almost 2 years ago) which I think could turn out seriously. But many of my old quirks are coming back to get me and I have a lot of questions/need a lot of advice. Thanks everyone!

 

1. So first off, I started talking to this guy via texting. We had mutual friends who wanted to introduce us. We texted for about a month before we met, and have been seeing each other for a month after that meeting. When we were in the texting stages I was nearing 80 texts a day, and now that we're in a relationship he doesn't text me as often. Whenever he's not texting me, I'm worrying what he's doing. It's not entirely that I don't trust him, although I am jealous of his many friendships with girls. I get anxiety that really bothers me when he hasn't texted me in awhile, even if I'm busy doing other things. I'm not sure what to do about this.

 

2. This guy and I are from very different sides of the 'social spectrum.' We feel we are beyond this, but our friends definitely aren't. My friends are harassing me as to why I am seeing them, and I can't help but wonder if they do have my best interests in mind? He is worried about what his friends would say if they met me, which actually hurts my feelings a lot. How much will this affect our relationship, and are there ways to deal with this better? Without us having to constantly hang out alone with just the two of us?

[ThrillIsGone]

Okay.. Let's see.

 

 

1. Trust. Need lots of it. & remember in the early early "getting to know" stages you always talk way more. So don't over-analyze about the 80 texts vs. however many less texts or whatever else.

 

 

 

2. Let him know that it hurts your feelings about him being worried. If you want it to work you got to be in this together. I'm sure if your friends get to know him and vice versa that you guys will be fine. 'Social spectrum' is so high school to me. I meet all kinds of diverse people and there's always going to be something that you can connect on. Under all the superficial stuff people are still people.