melissag87 Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Just curious, but has anyone every googled "how to win your ex back" and come accross a ton of books that you can buy to win them back? I wonder if they work? Has anyone on here bought them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrich Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 I haven't but I think you can very safely asume that there is no magic answer. You will get just as much value reading the free pages of eNotalone or similar forums as you will out of paying to read the same stuff in a book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emptyinside70 Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Bought the from make up to break up one....I don't think it worked too well since the ex I bought it regarding is getting married in a few months, and I haven't talked to her in years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 The only thing that works is if you're compatible, and they want you back. You can read to your hearts content....but that wont get them back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessBOT Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Just curious, but has anyone every googled "how to win your ex back" and come accross a ton of books that you can buy to win them back? I wonder if they work? Has anyone on here bought them? There are different kinds of break-ups. The ones where you know deep down inside someone just has to bite the dust make the call or apology to get the ball rolling and things are back on. Then there is the it's over, end of story. Those books may work for the first, but they don't work when it's over. Just imagine a person who you really didn't want to be with anymore and you'd been trying for months to find the right way, but you don't want to hurt them, but you finally end it and feel relief; Or worse imagine someone who cheated on you and you broke up with them. Does anything you see in those books make you think, yeah that would make me want to get back with this person. Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion from being on both sides and having tried those books and had those books tried on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shes2smart Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 My guess is they probably work pretty well for the author and/or publisher every time one is sold. But then again, I'm old & cynical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessBOT Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 My guess is they probably work pretty well for the author and/or publisher every time one is sold. Lol, love it, so true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoldingHope Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 I bought one a few days after my breakup. It has been over 2 months now and I have not seen or spoken to my ex. I will say it was a comfort to keep my mind busy with reading the e-book, and it reaffirmed the importance of NC and explained the differences between women and men when they break up. Women love words and romance, men generally dont work that way. SO when we try to talk them into coming back, it pushes them further. I dont think it is worth the 40 bucks, but it did help me mentally. I have also been reading on the Law of Attraction and trying to think positivly, as well as working out and trying to enjoy the summer. It is a matter of time before I run into him, and the book did help me with how to act and what to say (crying is not an option! LOL) Best wishes to you and keep your head up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevegoh Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Women love words and romance, men generally dont work that way. SO when we try to talk them into coming back, it pushes them further. I would think men don't break up with their ex because of specific things that her ex did or said. And men probably didn't break up with their ex because of their appearance. Much has been discussed about the reasons why men break up with their ex, but I supposed that the common ones would be the routine of relationship, being too rigid and cool, needy and insecure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puckdog27 Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 They give you the same advice you get here. NC, make yourself a better person, move on, then MAYBE you might get a chance..... Just because you bought a book and did what it told you to do, doesnt mean your ex will return at the end of it. So no, they dont work. The advice they give makes the chances a little less slim, but they are still slim and everyone needs to accept that and move on first. And like I said, you are already getting it here for free. If your not listening to us tell you, NC, work on yourself, move on, then why would you believe the book? Save your money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoldingHope Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Steve, oddly enough my ex told me the same thing...it was nothing I said or did. Not much comfort there haha. Puck, why ya so negative hon? We all know the reality of the situation, and that chances arent stellar, but some of us here need some hope, ya know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puckdog27 Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Steve, oddly enough my ex told me the same thing...it was nothing I said or did. Not much comfort there haha. Puck, why ya so negative hon? We all know the reality of the situation, and that chances arent stellar, but some of us here need some hope, ya know? Not being negative, being honest. You asked if books work and I said your getting the info for free and either way it doesnt make an ex want to come back. They have to want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CFD656 Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Not being negative, being honest. You asked if books work and I said your getting the info for free and either way it doesnt make an ex want to come back. They have to want to. I have to agree with Puckdog on this one. I spent $50 on a book that was "guaranteed" to get your ex back. Well, I happened to find this site after I read the book, and you know what.... all the advice in that book can be found on this site. FOR FREE! P.S., my ex still hasn't come back to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puckdog27 Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 The first step in getting your ex back is to give up hope. Move on and make yourself better. Make sure you're ready for the next relationship, and if its with the ex, thats great, but either way, this relationship is over. Why would you hope to restart a broken relationship? Drop hope and spend the energy on improvement. If the ex does come back, its got to be all new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brokenheart311 Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 I would equate the people that sell these online winning your ex back books with those who sell penis enlargement pills. They prey on your insecurities to get your cash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoldingHope Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Not being negative, being honest. You asked if books work and I said your getting the info for free and either way it doesnt make an ex want to come back. They have to want to. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I do agree with your post above with moving on, based in Law of Attraction roots. It's about getting you back before you are able to accept them or get them back. As far as the books, they do prey on the wounded with grandeur promises sometimes I agree. I thought mine was very good but highly overpriced. 40 bucks to be exact. But it helped me find this place and so on which has been a great help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Me85 Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 I have to say unfortunately no they do not work. No amount of self reflecion/improvement will make them want to come back, they have to want to! It doesnt do any harm to improve and reflect but you have to do it for you not them. If they want to come back they will, if not in the meantime you have started to heal and will someday be ready for someone who can appreciate you fully. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedude27 Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 No they dont work. They do sometimes contain some good advice but they never convey strong enough when to really apply it and why it works. None of those books could save my realtionship and there was a lot of love still on both sides. This site helped more than all of the books combined. The problem I had was the volume of information I had to take in combined with the short time and emotional state I was in. I felt very lost when I first came here, but now that I have been through all of this I see what ppl are talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl36 Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 I've never tried one, but from what I've read on this site, they don't work because they are based on generalizations about human nature ("we want what we can't have," "improving yourself will make you more attractive to your ex," "go NC for x number of months so that they'll miss you and want you back," etc.) While these things CAN be true in some cases and some of these strategies MAY work, they don't take into account all sorts of variables -- who broke up with whom, the reasons for the break-up, how positively or negatively things ended, whether one or more of the parties has immediately moved on to someone else, how long the couple has been broken up, etc. They also don't account for the many, many variables in human behavior, thoughts, feelings, responses, etc. Some people, when they are done with a relationship, are simply DONE -- no going back, no matter how attractive the dumpee has made him/herself, no matter how well the dumpee has "moved on" -- no matter what. My main gripes with these books (I haven't read one myself, but I've read TONS of discussion of them on these boards) are that 1) I think they give people false hope -- and exploit that for profit; and 2) I think that a lot of them encourage using "strategies" and "tactics" that amount to little more than game-playing and manipulation. My feeling is exactly what Puckdog and a few others have said: Your best chance of getting an ex back comes from MOVING ON. Not a fake "show" of moving on, but real, honest-to-goodness moving on of the my-life-will-continue-whether-he/she-is-in-it-or-not variety. Very, VERY hard to do (I am struggling with this, and not doing so well with it at the moment), but in the end, I really think it's the only thing that gives most people any chance of beginning a new relationship (NOT re-starting the old one) with a former love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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