Spring is here - but not so happy about it

[kungfumaster]

Hi everyone! I haven't posted in a while I guess. Just to recap - I have been no contact for 4 months now - we were together 2 years and 3 months - 2 years in the same city, 3 months ldr - wow - that 4 months really went by quickly - great for me eh? - but I still have periods of depression. I'm surprised I got through my semester.

 

For example, spring is here now, and its so sunny and nice outside - but it just reminds me that I won't be spending the coming summer with my ex - you know - we had so much stuff planned for this summer before we broke up - like I was really looking forward to going to her university graduation ceremony, and we were going to go on vacation to where her mom lives (in an eastern oriental city), and I was going to stay for a whole 4 months with her before I had to go back to the city where I worked. I was soooooooo looking forward to all 3 things - now, its all gone. And there's so much romance in the summer - I just hate it. How do I snap out of it?? Sorry - just venting a bit.

 

I have been taking steps to alleviate this feeling though - I am planning to take a vacation in the east to visit a friend, and travel to to 3-4 cities. But, I don't know - I just feel so blah in the meantime - maybe I just have to wait until my vacation - until then, I just have to suffer. Sorry - just venting.

[lunchbox]

kungfumaster,

I totally agree... I don't want it to be summer - I don't want it to be spring. My plans are down the drain - and I don't really want to make new ones.

[SLBG]

Hi kungfumaster,

 

You are not alone, I am also not looking forward to summer. Everyone is out enjoying themselves with their partners and we are left behind.

 

Its gonna be tough this summer, I also had plans with my ex that will not happen now. While she is out in the sun I will b depressed and sad.

 

I no she will be out having fun, she has loads of friends and a really laid back family who will be doing BBQs and ever thing this summer.

 

During this time I will be working on setting up my business, training and healing.

 

I'm gonna try to put it out of my mind, ignore it and try to move on.

 

Its only summer. Imagine what they will be doing in the Winter, not a lot.

 

We will heal, build up our strength and move on, our exs will smoke screen their feelings and lay in the sun.

[tiger_lilies]

I'm also in the same boat...it sucks! It's super nice outside today and my plans are to go work out at my gym. If I was still with my ex, we'd be going for a walk on the beach, sipping lattes at Starbucks, or just tossing the football around.

Suddenly I have so much free time, I don't know what to do with myself.

[fantasia2004]

Kungfu

 

I feel your pain.

 

 

I am looking forward to giving myself the biggest gift of them all. Treating myself to a trip to Europe and I will do it even if it kills me.

 

Ihave to even if Iam still thinking of my ex, I have to move on with optimism in my mind.

 

That is all you can do.

 

Don't wallow in pain look forward to good things. It may not feel good now but later it gets better.

 

Vent away people. vent away.!!

[SLBG]

Hi everyone, just read one of the best posts on the site.

 

Please read it as it will give you a great outlook

 

link removed

 

After reading it see how you feel, Im not so worried about the summer now.

[kungfumaster]

But SLBG - I'm not trying to get my ex back - I just want to move on with my life - it is hard enough I think. I tried really hard in the relationship - I was in so much pain - I just wanted something, anything - but I got nothing. So- you might be right that I probably scared her off when she recontacted me after 3 weeks of no contact - but I don't know, I never thought she would actually call back - so I never "prepared" myself for it - was I wrong?? but she did, and I was stupid enough to let her back into my life I think, so that she could just dump me again . So, I don't want to put any energy into "preparing" for her to come back - I think I will just be setting myself up for another dumping - and I'm not built to handle too many rejections. Once is enough - two times - ouch but the third time - NO MORE!! I think I would be holding myself back from true healing if I "prepare" for her to come back. IF SHE WANTS ME BACK - SHE HAS TO DO ALL THE WORK - I AM GOING TO DO NOTHING!! This is probably never going to happen, but those are my present views on my situation now.

 

FANTASIA - yeaaaay!! I'm so happy for you - a trip to Europe - ALRIGHT We both sooooooo deserve a vacation!! Yes - we're going to have fun!! We have too or else our ex's will get the better of us - and that will not be the case - BECAUSE WE'RE WORTH IT!!

 

Have a good night everyone

[mahlina]

Aaaaw!!! How sad...don't let the happy weather get you down...Sometimes, actually, a lot of times, things don't happen the way that we plan them to be. Unfortunately, but yes, often times, that's just the case. Fate will throw a lot of crap at you. I'm sorry that you had built up excitement, and things did not fall through.

 

Hey, but cheer up! I wish I had enough money to travel! Heck, the only thing that I'll be doing over the summer is schooling, and work! Ouch! Plus, I'll probably sit in a pool of tears, just wondering why my summer has to be soooo repititious!

 

Do something fun for now! You don't have to look at it like a torture test. Meaning, you don't have to suffer for the time being. Pump yourself up! Plan your entire trip! It's like exercising your brain. Except, you're feeding it with excitement and fun, instead of saddness. So prepare yourself. Give your brain the protein powder it needs! Shape it up! Add excitement to your trip, so that you won't have to feel down in the dumps for now! I'm serious! Traveling is fun, but it's not as fun when you don't plan the entire thing out. I did that once, and when I got to my destination, I didn't have as much fun, because I wasted my time trying to figure out where the attractions spots were at.

 

So, yeah! Do that for yourself!!! Research on places that you might be interested in going to. Places like you'd like to see. Places that might have good food. Places of art and beauty. If you're traveling to the Orient, I suppose that there will be some great Acrobatic shows, maybe Dralion. Or, you can go see the Shaolin Monks! Their performance is awsome!!!

 

There's sooooo Much to do!!! So many exciting things to see! Plan a little backpacking/road trip excursion! You are soooo lucky! So, plan it and haaave FUN!

 

Go Kick some Butt! Show the Ex that you're better than that!

 

I'm on your side!

Larry H. Parker! J/K. -Mahlina

 

P.S.- Maybe you'll meet a nice lady out there too! Maybe you can pick one up along your trip! I'm not talking about those cheesy mail-order brides, but someone, an aquaintance that your buddy might know, so that you'll get the hook up!

[fantasia2004]

To Mahling good words of wisdom

 

 

to Kungfu and others keep this quote in mind,

 

 

 

T.H. White, "The Once and Future King" -

The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn."

 

I hope this helps because learning is part of growing up and moving on.

 

Think positive.

 

Fantasia

[kungfumaster]

Hey thanks Fantasia - that was a good quote. Yes, we have to learn from this and just move on.

 

Hi yaaaah!